ME - SETTING A PASSWORD
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Posted:Jul 24, 2014 6:19 am
Last Updated:Sep 11, 2014 9:54 pm 2528 Views
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This is a copy/paste, My dear Friends  - reminds me of my own self sometimes ---
WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!
WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourA$$IfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.
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HOW TO GET A RAISE
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Posted:Jul 19, 2014 11:14 pm
Last Updated:Jul 24, 2014 6:15 am 2354 Views
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This, My dear Friends, is a C/P .... read on .....
The Employee and the Boss
Employee: Excuse me sir, may I talk to you?
Boss: Sure, come on in. What can I do for you?
Employee: Well sir, as you know, I have been an employee of this prestigious firm for over ten years.
Boss: Yes.
Employee: I won't beat around the bush. Sir, I would like a raise. I currently
have four companies after me and so I decided to talk to you first.
Boss: A raise? I would love to give you a raise, but this is just not the right time.
Employee: I understand your position, and I know that the current economic down turn has had a negative impact on sales, but you must also take into consideration my hard work, pro- activeness and loyalty to this company for over a decade.
Boss: Taking into account these factors, and considering I don't want to start a brain
drain, I'm willing to offer you a ten percent raise and an extra five days of vacation time. How does that sound?
Employee: Great! It's a deal! Thank you, sir!
Boss: Before you go, just out of curiosity, what companies were after you?
Employee: Oh, the Electric Company, Gas Company, Water Company and the Mortgage Company etc!
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FATWAS HAVE NO LEGAL SANCTION
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Posted:Jul 8, 2014 5:20 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2014 7:16 am 2545 Views
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On Monday, the Indian Supreme Court riled that fatwas (the Mullah's Edicts] have NO LEGAL SANCTION.
Muslim clerics react sharply to SC ruling on sharia courts
NEW DELHI: The Supreme Court's verdict on Monday declaring that a sharia court has no legal sanction drew sharp reaction from Muslim clerics who said that the Constitution allows them the right to work and act according to Muslim personal law.
Zafaryab Jilani, member of the Muslim Personal Law Board, said, "We are not doing anything parallel to the judicial system and we don't say that any order passed by a Qazi is binding on all. Our sole motto is to resolve a matter with the consent of two parties involved in accordance with sharia."
Khalid Rasheed Farangi, a Muslim cleric, said that under the Constitution, Muslims have the right to work and act according to Muslim personal law.
"Indian Constitution has given us the right to act and work according to our Muslim personal law.
The Supreme Court of India.
"One must also keep in mind that Sharia Application Act, 1937, has very clearly said that in those cases in which both parties are Muslims and the matter is related to nikaah, talaaq, zihar, lian, khula and mubaraat, the decisions will be taken in the light of the Muslim personal law," he said, adding that the verdict needs to be studied properly before a final statement can be given.
Maulana Mohammad Sajid Rashid, president of Kul Hind Imam Association, said the plea filed in the apex court is itself wrong as it is a religious matter.
"If a person is practising a religion, he/she has to follow its preachings. A Muslim who does not follow the sharia is not a true Muslim," he said.
Maulana Anisur Rehman, member of Imarat Shariah, Patna, however, agreed with the apex court ruling, saying that the judgment is not wrong and it is not going to hinder the functioning of sharia courts.
"For arbitration, when two parties or people consensually approach the sharia court, it is lawful. The Supreme Court is not wrong, but I need to go through the entire verdict properly," he said.
Disapproving of a sharia court issuing fatwa and order against a person who is not before it, the Supreme Court on Monday said it has no sanction of law and no legal status.
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THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT IN GOLF, ARE NOT:
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Posted:Jul 5, 2014 8:45 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2014 7:16 am 2372 Views
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This Friends is a copy paste of a notty little something for a Sunday laff :
10. Damn, my Shaft is bent.
9. After 18 Holes, I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his Putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your 3 some?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so Sweaty I can't get a good grip!
2. Nice Stroke, but your follow-through leaves a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty but in golf isn't
1. Hold up! I need to wash my Balls first!
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THE SENIOR CITIZENS
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Posted:Jul 2, 2014 6:33 am
Last Updated:Jul 8, 2014 4:45 pm 2509 Views
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This friends is a C/P
Senior citizens are constantly being criticized for every conceivable deficiency of the modern world, real or imaginary. We know we take
responsibility for all we have done and do not blame others.
HOWEVER, upon reflection, we would like to point out that it was NOT the senior citizens who took
The melody out of music,
The pride out of appearance,
The courtesy out of driving,
The romance out of love,
The commitment out of marriage,
The responsibility out of parenthood,
The togetherness out of the family,
The learning out of education,
The service out of patriotism,
The Golden Rule from rulers,
The nativity scene out of cities,
The civility out of behavior,
The refinement out of language,
The dedication out of employment,
The prudence out of spending,
The ambition out of achievement or
God out of government and school.
And we certainly are NOT the ones who
eliminated patience and tolerance from
personal relationships and interactions with
others!!
And, we do understand the meaning of
patriotism, and remember those who have
fought and died for our country.
Just look at the Seniors with tears in their
eyes and pride in their hearts as they stand
at attention with their hand over their hearts!
I'm the life of the party..... Even if it lasts until
8 pm
I'm very good at opening childproof caps.....
With a hammer.
I'm awake many hours before my body allows
me to get up.
I'm smiling all the time because I can't hear a
thing you're saying.
I'm sure everything I can't find is in a safe secure
place, somewhere.
I'm wrinkled, saggy, lumpy, and that's just my left leg.
I'm beginning to realize that aging is not for wimps.
Yes, I'm a SENIOR CITIZEN and I think I am having
the time of my life!
Now if I could only remember who sent this to me,
I wouldn't send it back to them.
Spread the laughter
Share the cheer
Let's be happy
While we're here
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THE FAIRY - 40 YEARS OF MARRIAGE
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Posted:Jul 2, 2014 6:12 am
Last Updated:Jul 3, 2014 5:41 pm 2256 Views
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A GOOD STORY OF US GENTLEMEN WHO GET BIOLOGICALLY ADVETUROUS SOMETIMES ......
A married couple in their early 60s are celebrating their
40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table.
She said, 'For being such an exemplary married
couple and for being loving to each other for
all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
The wife answered, 'Oh, I want to travel around the world
with my darling husband.'
The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two
tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her
hands.
The husband thought for a moment:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an
opportunity like this will never come again. I'm
sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30
years younger than me.'
The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed,
but a wish is a wish.!
So the fairy waved her magic wand and
poof!...
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story:
Men who are ungrateful should
remember fairies are female......
PLEASE SHARE IT WITH ALL YOUR LADY FRIENDS WHO NEED
A GOOD LAUGH .
AND
TO THE GENTLEMEN WHO CAN
HANDLE IT !! 
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WHY WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRIVE
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Posted:Jun 15, 2014 6:44 am
Last Updated:Jul 1, 2014 6:04 am 2678 Views
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All My dear Friends -
I have been missing the blogs here and posting anything because I have been involved in rather hectic activity in the education sector. It seems unlikely to change in near future but I shall be here from time to time.
Do, please pardon me !! I am posting a little story here too - ladies, please, be careful !! Rofl ..........
You have all been missed.
Fondest best wishes ...
Friendly 133
WOMEN DRIVERS RISK DAMAGE TO OVARIES
RIYADH: A conservative Saudi Arabian cleric has said women who drive risk damaging their ovaries and bearing with clinical problems, countering activists who are trying to end the Islamic kingdom's male-only driving rules.
A campaign calling for women to defy the ban in a protest drive on October 26 has spread rapidly online over the past week and gained support from some prominent women activists. On Sunday, the campaign's website was blocked inside the kingdom.
In an interview published on Friday on the website sabq.org, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan said women aiming to overturn the ban on driving should put "reason ahead of their hearts, emotions and passions".
Reuters earlier wrongly identified him as Sheikh Saleh bin Mohammed al-Lohaidan, a member of the senior council of scholars, one of the top religious bodies in the birthplace of Islam.
By contrast, Sheikh Saleh bin Saad al-Lohaidan, the person quoted in the sabq.org report, is a judicial adviser to an association of Gulf psychologists.
His comments reflect the extent of opposition to women driving among some conservatives in Saudi Arabia.
"If a woman drives a car, not out of pure necessity, that could have negative physiological impacts as functional and physiological medical studies show that it automatically affects the ovaries and pushes the pelvis upwards," he told Sabq.
"That is why we find those who regularly drive have with clinical problems of varying degrees," he said.
He did not cite specific medical studies to support his arguments.
The ban on women driving is not backed by a specific law, but only men are granted driving licences. Women can be fined for driving without a licence but have also been detained and put on trial in the past on charges of political protest.
Sheikh Abdulatif Al al-Sheikh, the head of the morality police, told Reuters a week ago that there was no text in the documents making up sharia, or Islamic law, that barred women from driving.
King Abdullah has pushed some cautious reforms aimed at expanding women's freedoms in Saudi Arabia, including opening more employment opportunities for them, but he has not addressed the issue of driving.
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ALZHEIMERS' AT 40 SOMETHING !!!!!!
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Posted:Jan 13, 2014 4:39 pm
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2014 8:02 pm 3316 Views
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A story forwarded by a friend - you may have read it but please laff any way. 
After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, yielded no results.
Suddenly I realized, that I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted at me several times, not to leave the car keys in the ignition.
My theory has always been " the ignition is the best place not to lose them." His theory is that the car could be stolen.
I, therefore, rushed to the parking lot, and came to the terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was vacant of cars.
I immediately called the police, and gave them my location, description of the car, the place I had parked etc, I also admitted to them, that I had absentmindedly left my keys in the car ignition and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all -to my husband, "Honey," I stammered (I always call him "honey" at such times). I left my car keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a moment of pin drop silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he hollered, " Do you not remember that I had dropped you at the hotel for your meeting ?"
Now it was my turn to go silent for a brief moment. Embarrassed that I was, I put on my most appealing voice, "Well, come and get me."
He hollered again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car."
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5
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13 THINGS ABOUT YOU AND THE WORLD - A C/P
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Posted:Jan 8, 2014 4:58 am
Last Updated:Jan 19, 2014 6:23 am 3075 Views
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1. Someone in this world Loves you , in some way.
2. A smile from you, can bring happiness to or anyone, even if they
don't like you.
3. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you, before they go sleep.
4. You mean the world to someone.
5. Without you, someone may not be living.
6. You are special and unique, in your own way.
7. or Someone that you don't know even exists, loves you.
8. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
9. When you think the world has turned it's back on you, take a look, you most likely turned your back on the world.
10. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, you probably sooner or later will get it.
11.Always remember the complements you received, forget about the rude remarks.
12.Always tell someone how you feel about them, you will feel much better when they know.
13. If you have a (or more) great friend(s), take the time to let them know that they are great. If you choose, send this letter to as many people as you care about, you'll brighten up someone's day, and might change their perspective on life, for the better!
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WE COULD BE THAT WISDOM LADEN !!
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Posted:Jan 7, 2014 12:24 am
Last Updated:Jan 8, 2014 5:03 am 3078 Views
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The Wednesday laff for all friends at SFF :
They Walk Among Us!
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A guy bought a new fridge for his house.
To get rid of his old fridge (still working), he put it in his front yard and hung aSign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
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One day I was walking down the beach with
Some friends when someone shouted.....
"Look at that dead bird!"
Someone looked up at the sky and said..."Where?"
They walk among us!
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While looking at a house, my brother asked the
Estate agent which direction was north because
He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.
She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east
And has for some time. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......'
They Walk Among Us!
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My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria,
When we overheard an admin girl talking about the
Sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said
She "didn't think she'd get sunburned
Because the car was moving."
They Walk Among Us!
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My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car
Which is designed to cut through a seat belt
If she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.
They Walk Among Us!
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I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
Because she was a trained professional and
Said I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me,
'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this.)
They Walk Among Us!
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While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man
Ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook
Asked him if he would like it cut
Into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time
Then said "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
Enough to eat 6 pieces."
They Walk Among Us!
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks
TRUE STORY:
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi (Speaker of the United States House of Representatives)happened to appear. Ms. Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
Sadly, they walk among us! And, MORE sadly, hold high offices!!!
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Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.
Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for Driving without a seat belt!!!
You can't fix stupid.
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