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GreyBeard Is Pumpkin Nog for the Soul 12/17/2005
Greybeard is the King in Waiting patiently for his throne.
I usually vote for Homeboy. My computer would not let me
vote every twenty-four hours - but whenever I keep voting
for Homeboy, I did so. I even went to the library so that I
could keep voting for Homeboy. I admire his style.
<br>
Nevertheless, the more I inquire about Greybeard, the
more I am convinced ...
3 Comments, 117 Views,
17 Votes
,0.01 Score
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winning at love 11/28/2005
To love someone is the most commonest thing in the world.
It has been around for generations and generations, now,
and noone has really grown tired of it.
To win at love can be A very sacred, cherishable, honoured
thing, one has ever done. fOR two people to have that special
feeling for someone, thats what you call "winning
at love"
1 Comments, 93 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Excited about marriage 11/27/2005
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about
their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss
the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the
counter:
<br>
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
<br>
Says Jacob: 'We're about to get married. Do you
sell heart medication?' ...
0 Comments, 87 Views,
15 Votes
,2.82 Score
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ladies beware 11/22/2005
Just heard on the news today that if you marry a devil's
, you will have a devil's father-in-law.. Now
take this which ever way you want, but we should be very careful,
I would think. thankyou
1 Comments, 69 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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open and honest 11/21/2005
First time you meet someone, you should apply humour, sensuality,
and seriousness. One needs to know right away what the other
is like.. Then there won"t be anything to wonder about
and you should have a good idea if you could like that person..
Then each one will have a sense of who they will be dealing
with, and if you want to go out togher again.
tell the other if you got that ...
1 Comments, 71 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Letter Sent To Guy Who Stood Me Up 10/29/2005
It has happened to me more times than I like to admit. My date
doesn’t show or even bothers to call. The first time that
happened, I sat on the floor and cried for about two hours.
<br>
It is dubious that a conservative military veteran and
a freespirited astrologer can make a love connections.
Nevertheless, we both love nature. A hiking buddy with
benefits ...
0 Comments, 124 Views,
11 Votes
,1.11 Score
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You Can't Please Everyone 10/13/2005
An old man, a boy & a donkey were going to town. The boy
rode on the
donkey & the old man walked. As they went along they
passed some people
who
remarked it was a shame the old man was walking & the
boy was riding.
The
man & boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they
changed
positions.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Later, they passed ...
5 Comments, 178 Views,
12 Votes
,4.57 Score
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Friday! I'm Fishing 10/9/2005
The husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of
marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is and
the wife goes
into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in
the 15 years
they've been married. She goes on and on and on.
<br>
Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces
the woman and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts
up and ...
3 Comments, 172 Views,
12 Votes
,6.33 Score
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TOMORROW, BUT ONLY TOMORROW! 9/7/2005
I very happy:
-NOW...I am with my really love....Live in USA, but...he
speak to me that all time meet with me.
-When?
-Tomorrow.
Answer to me always! tomorrow is the today.called of phone:
-hello..you are in airport?
-My dear, my love, now only, tomorrow..
5 MONTHS OF TOMORROW! NEVER MY LOVE ...NEVER YESTERDAY...NEVER
TODAY....BUT...HAVE TOMORROW! ...
2 Comments, 138 Views,
10 Votes
,2.19 Score
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The Silver Ladle 8/26/2005
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal,
his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's
roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship
between John and his roommate, and this only made her more
curious.
<br>
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact,
she started to wonder if there was more between John and
the ...
1 Comments, 128 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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Be Careful What You Wish For! 8/2/2005
Be careful what you wish for!
<br>
<br>
A couple had been debating buying a vehicle for weeks.
<br>
He wanted a truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like
car so
she could zip through traffic around town.
<br>
He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck,
but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price
range.
...
1 Comments, 162 Views,
8 Votes
,4.64 Score
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Tying the Knot 8/2/2005
Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Florida, are
all
>excited about their decision to get married. They
go for a stroll to
>discuss the wedding, and on the way they pass a drugstore.
Jacob suggests
>they go in.
> > Jacob addresses the man behind the counter: "Are
you the
>owner?" > > The pharmacist answers, "Yes." > > Jacob: "We're ...
1 Comments, 145 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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Thirteen... 7/14/2005
A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment
down South, when he struck up a conversation with a young
lady in a bar.
<br>
After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own
bottle
and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed.
<br>
"Say, how old are you anyway?" the reporter
asked as the obviously
young lass was disrobing.
...
1 Comments, 156 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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Sisters... 7/14/2005
There were 2 old-maid sisters... both virgins.
<br>
It's Friday night and Gladys looks at Betty and says,
"I'm not
going to die a virgin... I'm going out and I'm not
coming home
'til I've been laid!!"
<br>
Betty says, "Well, make sure you're home by 10
so I don't worry about
you."
<br>
10 o'clock rolls around and there's no sign of
Gladys...
11 ...
1 Comments, 133 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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Making Love To... 7/11/2005
How can you tell if you're making love to a teacher, a
nurse or an airline stewardess?
<br>
A teacher says we got to do this over and over again til we
get it right.
<br>
A nurse says hold still this won't hurt a bit.
<br>
And a airline stewardness says put this over your mouth
and nose and breathe normally.
1 Comments, 185 Views,
15 Votes
,4.05 Score
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Second Opinion... 7/9/2005
A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast
table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you
are no good in bed either, " and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make
amends and calls home.
<br>
She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated
husband says, "What took you so long to answer the
phone?" ...
1 Comments, 179 Views,
14 Votes
,4.74 Score
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Today I didn't do it!! 7/3/2005
One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem
in his house. His three were outside, still in
their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes
and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door
of his wife's car was open, as was the
front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.
A lamp ...
2 Comments, 128 Views,
13 Votes
,4.99 Score
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The Ten Dollar Jar 6/30/2005
A new guy in town walks into a bar and notices a very large
jar behind the counter, which is filled to the brim with
ten-dollar bills. The man guesses there must be thousands
of dollars in it and approaches the bartender to ask: "What's
up with the jar?"
<br>
Bartender: "Well, you pay ten dollars and if you pass
three tests, then you get all the money."
<br>
Man: ...
2 Comments, 161 Views,
9 Votes
,4.28 Score
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bumper sticker wisdom 6/25/2005
• If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
• I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<br>
...
1 Comments, 163 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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2 birds, 1 stone 6/18/2005
Chief One Stone got his name from being injured in a battle
years earlier. The word got aroung, "Don't
mess with One Stone, for he may kill you". One evening, One
Stone met Yellow Dove, a pretty indian madien. They talked, and
had sex, which lasted for several hours. Later, Yellow
Dove passed away. Later, the same day, he met Blue Bird, another
lovely maiden. They too eventually ended up ...
1 Comments, 97 Views,
8 Votes
,0.93 Score
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The Rules and Where Have You Been?? 6/13/2005
Didn't post the 1st time...had a "no-no"
word in it, I guess.
<br>
The Rules
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
<br>
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
that I won't be ...
1 Comments, 88 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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The Rules and Where Have You Been? 6/13/2005
The Rules
<br>
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and
after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
<br>
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what
time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you.
I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you
that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting,
fishing, boozing and ...
1 Comments, 77 Views,
4 Votes
,3.63 Score
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Money Talks! 6/12/2005
During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the
pastor with an unusual offer:
<br>
<br>
"Look, I'll give you $100 if you'll change
the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm
supposed to promise to 'love, honor and obey'
and 'be faithful to her forever, ' I'd appreciate
it if you'd just leave that out."
<br>
<br>
He passed the ...
1 Comments, 91 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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GOSH.... Looking Again! 6/11/2005
Anyone ever quit? Even married people look for soulmates
outside the perimeters of their "professional"
mates, and in perilious parts of their world.
<br>
It is written that marriage is like a besieged fortress.
Those who are out are trying to get in; those who are in are
trying to get out.
<br>
Scan the profiles: some demonstrate innocence, some are
predators ...
1 Comments, 144 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Payday... 6/11/2005
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. But it was payday,
so instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend
partying with the boys and spending his entire pay check.
<br>
When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was
confronted by his angry wife and was barraged for nearly
two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. Finally
his wife stopped the nagging ...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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Social Security 6/10/2005
A retired gentleman went to the social security office
to apply for Social Security.
<br>
The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's
license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized
he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was
very sorry but he seemed to have left his wallet at home.
"I will have to go home and come back later."
The ...
1 Comments, 119 Views,
3 Votes
,4.90 Score
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The Mistress... 6/9/2005
A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant
when an absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their
table, gives the husband a big kiss, tells him she'll
see him later, and walks away. His wife glares at him and
says, "Who was that??!!"
<br>
"Oh" replies the husband, "that was my
mistress." "That's it, " says the
wife, "I want a divorce."
<br>
...
1 Comments, 110 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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Viagra Coffee... 6/8/2005
This elderly lady went to the doctor for a checkup. Everything
checked out fine. The old lady pulled the doctor to the side
and said, "Doctor, I haven't had sex for years
now, and I was wondering how I can increase my husband's
sex drive." <br>
The doctor smiled and said, "Have you tried to give
him Viagra?" <br>
The lady frowned. "Doctor, I can't even get him
to take ...
1 Comments, 140 Views,
8 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Girrrlllllll...... 6/8/2005
A middle aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the
hospital.
While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up"? God said,
"No. you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days
to live."
<br>
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital
and have a
facelift, Liposuction and tummy tuck. Since she had so
much ...
1 Comments, 92 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Work Out and Feel Better... 6/7/2005
The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program.
Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the
following:
<br>
MONDAYS
<br>
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper
<br>
TUESDAYS
<br>
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make Mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head
<br>
...
1 Comments, 78 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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