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Blogs > spiritwoman45 > Life in the Canyon


spiritwoman45
22314 posts
6/29/2012 10:08 pm
Role Reversal

I don’t know how many of you find yourselves in this situation. Many are some distance, emotionally, geographically or both from their adult . Those who remain close both in terms of distance and emotion get a special treat – role reversal.

I’m not sure when it begins. For me that varied a lot. My oldest is as structured as I am free spirited. By the time she was 11 I was driving her crazy. We spent her years with her telling me how to shape up with my mother backing her up. My youngest was slow to mature and quite dependent for longer than most but when my husband died she started giving me direction (or at least she thought). She fussed about my not eating or sleeping and definitely did not approve of my boyfriends. True my husband was the logical and grounded one and I was the creative intuitive one but she forgot the 40 years I managed before I met him. My began to worry about me driving my old van, saying it was difficult to manage and I should not use it. When I was home enjoying some time alone one or the other of them was hovering about trying to get me to join in something.

Now they are approaching or just past 40 and becoming “old ”. In their own way they feel they have to look out for me or make sure I don’t get into trouble. Little do they know all of the things I do. Since I moved out to the canyon I can keep a great deal from them. They can text and call but they can’t see me. I am the wild ager and they are the ultra conservative parents. I catch regular advice from my older one and parental type lectures from my youngest. My just shakes his head when his girl friend calls me her role model.

I ignore them laughing and thinking to myself “pay back is a Bi@@@”. Besides I have an American Express card and a passport and money deposited n my account each month. Gives me an advantage teens don’t have.

Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is not and I plan to remain a and continuing to frustrate my / parents until my last breath.
Spiritwoman ^i^
Robyn5 83F

6/30/2012 2:04 am

 I can relate to your blog spirit. I sometimes feel they watch me a little too much and sometimes they make me feel I am getting old, but I honestly think a lot of it is in my own head. They have their own lives to get on with and as long as Im here, can still stand up and look after their kids sometimes, everything seems to just roll along. Being a free spirit is a bonus and Im one too. Stay the way you are.


Hawkslayer 88M
13374 posts
6/30/2012 4:47 am

 I don't have any living children, though I do have three step-kids, they tend to leave me to my own devices and I'm happy with that. Not that I give them any reason to get worried, I'm just a boring old fart, who is set in my ways.

Alfie...
It only takes a drop of ink to make a million people think. There are many stories.


Abelle2 83F
31261 posts
6/30/2012 5:31 am
    Quoting Hawkslayer:
    I don't have any living children, though I do have three step-kids, they tend to leave me to my own devices and I'm happy with that. Not that I give them any reason to get worried, I'm just a boring old fart, who is set in my ways.

    Alfie...
Boring old fart? Then who is the active fun fella that lives here???


Sunshine217 79F

6/30/2012 6:04 am

 Spirit, I look forward to your blogs. They are usually very insightful, and things most people can relate to. I'd buy a magazine to read your writings.
The world is a book and those who do not travel read only one page: St. Augustine


Rocketship 80F
18626 posts
6/30/2012 6:07 am

 Yippy!!! Yippy!!! Yippy!!!


friendly133 76M
5418 posts
6/30/2012 6:42 am

 Good little girl there who is a lovely great grand mother.

I suppose that role reversal is bound to take place; my son objects to my parachuting etc at my youthful ( ) years and, when any of my friends happens to mention free falling, he throws up a fit. As a doctor, he feels all the more concerned and every phone call is sound, unworkable medical advice.

Thanks God I am not a smoker any more (last 20 years) and am only a moderate occasional drinker. The sermons would have been many.

All said and done, our children mean well as we did when they were 'children'.

Many thanks for sharing this - have a wonderful day. & a KOC.
"To fight the darkness do not draw your sword, light a candle" - Zarathustra


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:25 am
    Quoting Robyn5:
    I can relate to your blog spirit. I sometimes feel they watch me a little too much and sometimes they make me feel I am getting old, but I honestly think a lot of it is in my own head. They have their own lives to get on with and as long as Im here, can still stand up and look after their kids sometimes, everything seems to just roll along. Being a free spirit is a bonus and Im one too. Stay the way you are.
Unfortunately I can't call my situation in my head as they do not hesitate to verbalize their thoughts and feelings.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:27 am
    Quoting  :
Thanks for the compliments. I am aiming for attending the bash in Oct. Hope it works out.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:28 am
    Quoting Hawkslayer:
    I don't have any living children, though I do have three step-kids, they tend to leave me to my own devices and I'm happy with that. Not that I give them any reason to get worried, I'm just a boring old fart, who is set in my ways.

    Alfie...
Yeah, right - the boring old fart who keeps Blogland stiffed up with funnies
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:29 am
    Quoting Abelle2:
    Boring old fart? Then who is the active fun fella that lives here???
I can only imagine but I bet he keeps a smile on your face, not to mention keeping your mind active about what he is up to next.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:37 am
    Quoting  :
I actually have a plan and legal document for when the day arrives that I need someone to make decisions. Current companion is number 1 with most logical child number 2. If one id available I feel it is best to have a non family member in charge. However I am assuming that when the day comes that I am incompetent I won't know the difference or if I do I won't care.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:39 am
    Quoting Sunshine217:
    Spirit, I look forward to your blogs. They are usually very insightful, and things most people can relate to. I'd buy a magazine to read your writings.
thanks for the compliments. I am finally getting back to a more mainstream kind of writing. I'm sure you know from personal experience what years of writing court reports, technical manuals and training materials for government agencies does to ones writing style. Kind of my personal joke when I was doing since my goal as a teen was to write science fiction.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:42 am

 Yippy back - calls for a group trampoline bounce - no wait, if we did that we would likely end up needing someone to look after us.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:42 am
    Quoting  :
One of the perks of being ADD
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:49 am
    Quoting friendly133:
    Good little girl there who is a lovely great grand mother.

    I suppose that role reversal is bound to take place; my son objects to my parachuting etc at my youthful ( ) years and, when any of my friends happens to mention free falling, he throws up a fit. As a doctor, he feels all the more concerned and every phone call is sound, unworkable medical advice.

    Thanks God I am not a smoker any more (last 20 years) and am only a moderate occasional drinker. The sermons would have been many.

    All said and done, our children mean well as we did when they were 'children'.

    Many thanks for sharing this - have a wonderful day. & a KOC.
I do understand your son's thoughts.. One of my daughters has extensive spinal surgeries and her entire spine is fused. Her ortho always told me she could never ride motorcycles but approved skiing. When I persisted in questioning this he explained that it was a personal observation as the most serious injuries he had to repair came from motorcycle accidents. Probably true as my dad was permanently disabled as a result of one and my youngest sister's fiancee killed in one.

Want to guess what she ended up doing? Motorcycle riding, although she is over 40 now, a grandmother herself and finds it too uncomfortable.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 9:56 am
    Quoting  :
Definitely can relate to the immediate aftermath of loosing their Dad. Mine felt I needed to be on "suicide watch" when I was in that situation. I definitely didn't need suicide watch but can see why they thought that as I am a typical Latin personality - we are emotional and expressive.

One of them proceeded me home took my meds and doled them out like nurse Ratchet! Probably a good thing in reverse since I probably would have neglected to take them on schedule while in that state of shock, confusion and disorientation which would have lead to me being more emotional and expressive.
Spiritwoman ^i^


buddie 82F
905 posts
6/30/2012 1:34 pm

 I travel a fair bit and my kids have tended to be concerned when they don't hear from me every few days. My CAR is getting older they say. They bought me a cell phone with a plan and a laptop to use on the road. Now before every trip I need a lesson. Have used the cell once-the laptop not yet.
I think they should just buy me a new car.


spiritwoman45

6/30/2012 4:14 pm
    Quoting buddie:
    I travel a fair bit and my kids have tended to be concerned when they don't hear from me every few days. My CAR is getting older they say. They bought me a cell phone with a plan and a laptop to use on the road. Now before every trip I need a lesson. Have used the cell once-the laptop not yet.
    I think they should just buy me a new car.
Reminds me of my late husband. I insisted on driving an old classic sports car that was not very reliable. I refused to get rid of it for a more practical car becasue I loved it. when cell phones first came our and were the size of a Vietnam era militarily radio he immediately got me one. said it was cheaper than hieing a tow ruck to follow me.
Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

7/2/2012 11:59 am
    Quoting amethyst01:
    Wow, I am really impressed by this blog. I have 4 x children, two from both marriages, with a ten year gap. I have one daughter who, having nursed her then boyfriend's mother through cancer until the mother died, decided to distance herself and her only son from me, incase they got too upset when I died! She has succeeded, I rarely see my only grandson, now almost 21, and although I do see my daughter when I go to her shop to get my hair done, very rarely at any other time. Although, I do know she cares and loves me. Difficult.
    My three sons have all got jealous and possessive partners who want me as far away as possible. I rarely see my eldest son, who has just split from his cheating wife, but do see the younger two. The son I am closest to, I suppose, does his best to look out for me, but travels a lot with his work.
    Anyway, enough of my issues! I enjoy reading your interesting writes.
    Your thoughts make me laugh, also.
    Take care
    Amy
Somewhere there is a happy medium. Mine have been somewhat appeased since I decided not to move to Mexico full time and have been out here in the canyon with Chuck. Little do they know the real situation but what they don't know won't hurt them. He and I did mutual power of attorney and health care proxies for each other since we know that no matter what we will remain good friends and trust each other to make good decisions. Once I have my stepmother's stuff under control I plan to look into some long term ways of insuring I end my days the way I want. I am fortunate to have a sister 20 years younger than me who sees things my way so will likely make some sort of arrangement for her to be the person in control when the time comes.
Spiritwoman ^i^




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