Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > Jes4now > My Blog |
|
This moment in Time vs Calendar Years.. Before I start my main topic I want to say I know there are people here who read my blog and do not necessarily agree with me - and I know that there are people who have read my blogs in the past and do not agree with my topics of choice at times - and I know that in the past there have been times my behavior or words in blogs have been driven by hurt or bruised feelings, instead of a mature outlook at my life and life in general - Looking at myself was one way I have grown in my everyday life as well as blog land and chat land. Thank you for allowing me the room and space to grow here... ________________________________________ I was going to name this blog.. It really doesn't matter.. because that is the REAL message here.. I feel it in the air again.. and to be honest.. last year it left a bitter taste in my mouth how some people who are seasoned and learned in life.. attack each other.. some of the things said in chat and then brought here in blog land.. I recognize from grammar school.. maybe even high school.. I recognize from those who feel insecure about themselves and NEED to HAVE people 'in their corner' whether it be by bullying.. or whether it be by fabricating.. here is what I wrote as I intended.. It really doesn't matter... I have been here longer than some and not as long as many.. It is true I am younger than most on this site as it has been pointed out to me on a number of occasions.. I guess for me that is the advantage because I am not a Senior hence I view life that there is always room for improvement within me... I am not always correct.. and I will not always be liked.. I need to be ok with that for me to continue to grow. I can say in my observations I have found that this site is much like 'real' life - I have made some very good friends I have made some acquaintances I have even made a few enemies.. But what I'd like to talk about is people can be petty.. in real life and in cyber life.. it is all the same. People can manipulate in real life and in cyber life.. if we allow them to.. People can be all for themselves in cyber life just as they could be in real life.. Like real life.. we at a certain age should be able to CHOOSE who we want to talk to.. who we want to be friends with.. who we want to invite out.. on our network.. blog with.. chat with.. and at a seasoned age of Seniors we SHOULD be understanding by now that life does not revolve around ME... if we understand that.. You know with all the talk here in blogs about what we seek.. Maturity is not one of them.. Is that because Seniors are automatically mature? Look around.. at the bickering.. and hurtfulness that people do not let go of? That is not a mature stance in my learnings.. Anyway, I got off the subject some here..so here is the rest of what I wrote.. First of all this is a senior site - why would people who are seasoned and well learned in the school of life try and beat each other up? In Chat or in blogs? Why would people who have lived and learned in life try to keep hurt alive when they know it does not feel good to BE hurt? Why would people who are seasoned and have lived and learned in life still step on others in chat room and then bring it to another forum to make their point? (A lot of People in Blogs left chat because of that crap!) One reason comes to mind as to why.. Personal gain.. for whatever reason.. and that old saying Misery loves company.. I learned from my best friend years ago.. to think about this.. In 10 years from now will today matter? In the BIG scheme of life itself will what happened in Chat.. matter or change your life that much? Especially with people you might not ever meet? Will it matter that someone stepped on your toes in Chat? I don't think so.. it's not a life threatening situation.. Will it matter 10 years from now that so and so don't like me or you? I don't think so.. because so and so will not be in my thoughts 10 years from now.. Will it matter if someone was invited someplace and I wasn't? I don't think so.. heck I would not have even know about it if I wasn't so nosy.. Will it matter that someone had a bad day.. a bad week.. a bad month and lives a sad life that their only enjoyment is to pull others down? Will it matter in your life 10 years from now if you are not that person? I don't think so.. And will it matter what is said in blogs or how many times someone says something.. or doesn't answer everyone... or whatever the case would be.. will it matter in our lives 10 years from now? I don't think so.. So why do we jump on a band wagon when others fight or argue? Is Personal gain in cyber land that important? Are none of us learned in and through life to realize that no everyone can be like you or me? Are we not Mature in later years to recognize.. the live and let live.. be and let be of life? If you don't like me.. If I don't like you If you like me.. if I like you... It really doesn't matter to Joe blow next door - why on earth would it matter to everyone else who is not involved? Honestly.. I don't care what my neighbor says about so and so down the block.. cause 10 years from now it will not effect my life.. and I have my own opinions and thoughts.. I guess people can argue diversity here.. that everyone is different and that is very true.. but I am looking at it as an observer watching how life can unfold as a seasoned and learned Senior.. with all the pettiness, pot stirring and person gain I see reasoning and rational going on.. I kind of like my age.. I do not want to be THAT seasoned... I personally do not want a repeat of last year.. it very immature and childish.. especially coming from a Senior group.. I know many will not agree with me.. and I know many will have a lot to say.. I am not meaning to be disrespectful.. but it gets tiresome after awhile.. but again.. in 10 years... what difference will this blog make? None I suppose... Gina  ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina |
||||
3/13/2007 4:16 am |
Gina yor are one of our best, don't ever change. We all are different and have different opions, thats what God intended we grow at different paces and some never get it..........Mom Carol "Love One Another, As I Have Loved You" Luke 22:1-38; John 13
| |||
|
Totally agree with you. I have always been amazed that there are some with such bad attitudes and grumpiness here on a "SeniorFRIEND Finder" site...it seems like they are looking for people to argue with rather than friends?????? I certainly don't expect people to always agree but geeeeesh...by our age they should be civil and know better than to name call, bully or even whine....and critize others for everything.Picking sides is soooo childish. It also surprises me when people ask for others opinions then get upset when they don't agree with them???? Good blog and right on target as I see it.......RED Some believe in destiny, some believe in fate. I believe that happiness is something we create 
| |||
3/13/2007 6:13 am |
Personal gain? What on earth would people think they were gaining in cyber? I like your thoughts this morning. I agree and think the same. Life is just too short to pick fights, in cyber or real, and if they knew what was on the other side I think they would change their mindsets. But you are right, some only get old, because they have never been taught how to mature. Love ya Kiddo 
| |||
3/13/2007 8:13 am |
I think what you speak of is an "ugly" part of certain people's personalities. I don't think they can help the way they are, or perhaps they just refuse to? It's sad. The "peer" pressure in school, those cliches??? I don't bother with Chat, but I always "hear" this kind of thing about it. For someone who has a "sensitive" side...it's probably not a good place to be. You have always demonstrated to me....very good advice. I think for your age, you've learned your lessons well. I'm sure others could stand to learn a lesson from you.
| |||
3/13/2007 8:47 am |
Very good blog. Turtle, made some very good points. She is one wise lady. Well said Gina 
| |||
3/13/2007 10:05 am |
No one could have said it better. Thank you.
| |||
3/13/2007 10:45 am |
It always surprises me that people care so much what others in cyberspace think of them and their opinions. Call me arrogant, narcissitic, or self-important, but I think my views are reasonably well thought out before I post them. If someone disagrees and responds reasonably, I appreciate the effort. If they simply respond with insult it doesn't bother me since such a reaction reflects badly on them and not me. At bottom, it comes down to this. Why should I allow the reactions of people I will never meet and who live far removed affect my emotional life? I can think of no reason why they should.
| |||
3/13/2007 10:54 am |
It reminds me of high school when the clickish girls were mean to the rest of us who were not a part of their click. I was not unpopular but I never wanted to be a part of a click but rather tended to befriend the downtrodden as heart wise they made better friends than the popular girls. (I attended an all girl Catholic High School)
| |||
3/13/2007 1:29 pm |
lady - I attended an all-boys Catholic HS. Them Jesuits learned us some good.
| |||
3/14/2007 4:13 am |
I will come back to respond to the rest of you.. time is running fast and I have go... I do want to thank you for your time and thoughts.. Have a great day all.. Gina ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina
| |||
3/14/2007 2:54 pm |
My Dear Jes4Now, I have been following your interesting blog since it was first written and have a few remarks which I feel are relevant. I hope you will allow me to post them. If you have made comments in the chatrooms or in blogs that are inspired by your feelings, good or bad, then that is your right. The blog section of Senior Friend Finder is an excellent venue in which to express yourself without intimidation or worry. You do these things very well and I applaud your honesty. You will continue to grow in spirit, in social maturity, and in the things in life that are important. You can judge the success of your life by how many friends you gain as you age. I can think of no concept that considers anyone a success if they continue to lose friends. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, you realize that sometimes friends come and go. Some just fade away, never to be heard from again. Others are deliberately put aside, not because they don't agree with you, but because they have a different sense of values than your do. If you have lost a friend or two over the years, think back on the reasons and decide for yourself if it really matters. This applies to Senior Friend Finder acquaintenances too. Some are worth keeping; some are not worth the time they demand. The past year or so has been a horrible experience to watch in the chatrooms because of a few people who love to share their misery. I have watched in awe as the name calling, lies and deceitful tactics to get others involved in ths fracas have been shoved in our faces on a daily basis. It was bad enough in the chatrooms, but when it spread to the blogs I was puzzled that Senior Friend Finder did not put a stop to it and ban those involved for letting the cyber-conflict get so out of hand. Freedom of speach is one thing, pure hatred is another. For the most part, those involved in the original conflict have either managed to ignore the other parties or just bite their tongues and let the insults continue unanswered. I am proud of them for their restraint. Several others, however, have not let it go in any form or fashion. They use any instance of verbage to turn the tables on their imagined opponents and try to recruit new allies by using the old "You wouldn't believe what so and so did to me in chat last year," ploy. It is an obvious attempt to get even more people involved, to drag out the same old boring and inane comments about a fight that should have ended ages ago and didn't. These people are not only insecure, they are, in my opinion, very much in need of psychiatric help. I have heard of obsessions that are so bizarre that they defy belief but I am sure there is a good doctor somewhere that can help these people. In the meantime, until they do seek help, the rest of us are stuck with their nonsense, their mental problems, and their desire to "own" the chatrooms and the blogs. Many good chatters have left chat entirely because of these people and many will never venture into chat because of what they have seen and heard. I can't say that I blame them. There is one person who is apparently very proud of the fact that she lurks and copies and sends anything that doesn't suit her tastes to Senior Friend Finder. How sad a life it must be that these people have nothing better to do than to play chatroom policeman. It is unfortunate that they can't devote just a small amount of that time to something useful and productive. I would suggest charity work, Habitat for Humanity or some other worthwhile cause. It would make the rest of us smile to see them in a useful pursuit, don't you think? Your points are well-made about how important these things will be in ten years. I would offer that they aren't important in ten minutes if you are a normal person. The truth, howwever, is that it is very hard to forget these things when someone throws them back at us daily via the blogs and chatrooms. I have never spoken to another person outside Senior Friend Finder about the things that happen in here. I chose to join, I choose to stay. But no matter where I turn, the conversations always seem to return to the same petty fights and disagreements you speak of. I think I am stooping to their level if I respond to them directly, so I refuse to do that at this time. I choose to not be a member of the persecuted group, or a target of that group. As for the responses to your blog, I have to say this: Bravo to those who are tired of hearing about it! To those who even use your blog to keep it going, I also have something to offer: Get some help before it is too late. Thank you Jes4Now for allowing me to express a few thoughts. Happy golfing! NickiGal
| |||
3/14/2007 9:24 pm |
Dang it gina lou. Does this mean that I have to grow up now? Dang it!I aint ready yet. I just wonder if I will remember this in ten years or not.Hey I have a problem now rememberin. But u know what? C there I forgot what I was going to say.Didnt take me ten years either. Very,Very Very good of u to write this. But u know like everyone else theres is always going to be what is to be.No matter what it is or when it is to be. Life has no changin unless we change it ourselves. Dang confusius(misspelled forgot how to spell it or didnt know how any way) would be proud of me now.Maybe I can remember these great words of wisdom in ten years. I DOULT IT VERY MUCH! Take care sweetie RIC
| |||
3/15/2007 7:30 am |
All I can say Jes, is WOW!.........RIGHT ON gal! Personally I've "fought the good fight" here and I'm done with it.........and frankly, tho' some may think I lost, I have WON.....BIG TIME!.......... Its wonderful to be involved in REAL LIFE again!.......(SFF is now just an occasional visit) Funny, how all this really does seem to MATTER to SOME, huh? No one's been hurt more than I in this silly place.......who shivs a git!.......as I've said before "closed minds and locked doors" cannot be entered. GOOD FRIENDS, you know who you are and I thank SFF for that one simple wonderful privilege they've made possible for us.....I will treasure you ALWAYS!...........(yes, I AM YAYA)......so there!
| |||
3/15/2007 8:43 am |
Well said Jes. A pity some people still fly the banners with a full orchestra of violins.
| |||
3/16/2007 3:52 am |
To those who choose to comment: Thanks all.. for your comments and voicing your opinions you are welcome here anytime.. my blog is open.. For those who choose to just come in and read: Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my blog.. that in 10 years from now really will mean nothing.. Have a great weekend all.. Gina ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina
| |||
3/19/2007 3:02 am |
Caro... very nice! Thinking of it this way.. old soul vs young soul... it matters not the age does it? Thank you for stopping in and sharing your thoughts.. I have been told.. I have an old but lively soul.. lol..go figure! lol.. Take gentle care, Gina ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina
| |||
3/20/2007 5:44 am |
Caro... I do hope to meet you in the future.. you are one of the top ones on my must meet list..  Have a wonderful day.. Gina ___________ Find the humor each day holds.... Gina
|
×
×