When I graduated Samurai school. I was only issued a short sword. What an incredible handicap; how does a noble warrior slay the beast of overwhelming lust and desire when inadequately armed? So I trained in solitude for many, many, years-long and hard. My skill developed slowly but surely. I developed patience and touch. My Kung Fu became very strong. Brimming with confidence, I threw my mawashi into the ring and entered the tournament of fair geishas called Match.com. Unfortunately, my confidence outstripped my common sense; without my mawashi I was dangerously exposed and both disqualified and ridiculed by the very fair damsels I sought to impress. Regardless, I managed to sufficiently impress one fair damsel into entering into holy matrimony with me. For a while, I was the happiest samurai on the planet. But my past caught up with me. In my enthusiasm, I failed to extinguish the life of excess or at least the signs of a life of excess. She used it as a weapon on me and without warning snuck out the door while I labored at gainful employment, caught a plane to the hinterlands and left me alone and empty. I am wounded now, but not mortally. I am not sure what I will do now but seppuku is not an option I am entertaining. I also do not do rebounds so fear not. This is the last painful day of my previous life and the first day of the rest of my life. I have skeletons in my closet sufficient to fill a graveyard-ask me anything; I will tell you all. That was my problem last time -a fatal error and it cost me dearly. That said, I am open to any and all suggestions-if you are interested in a slightly neurotic and previously used and certainly abused samurai, I can be all yours.
My Ideal Person
A dangerous question to ask an aging Warrior who still feels the daily morning stirrings of an excess of testosterone, who can still hang a bath towel on the anatomical "handle" bequeathed all Samurai at birth. "Hang ten " a surfers cry of the ideal. OK, maybe never ten, maybe waaay less than ten, and maybe hanging more often than I would prefer. Nevertheless when the moment of truth arrives, I'll be there slaying the dragon, inspired by the mere thought of the Fair Maiden that is my companion. I only need one. The right One. Not necessarily a ravishing beauty but one whose loyalty and trust and unquestionable and whose compatibility makes the two of us seem to meld into one. This is someone I both want and need. I am someone she both wants and needs.
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