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being happy 1/25/2007
I find today I am happy just haveing ladies as friends and
lovers. It is so cool to have a woman care for you because
you try and understand where she is coming from. It is so
cool to allow her to cry when she wants to.Yes I know love
will at some times find me, I won't be looking for it.
Donnijoe
1 Comments, 42 Views,
2 Votes
,0.34 Score
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The Test 1/24/2007
I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I
had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me - her beautiful
younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two,
wore very tight mini-skirts, and was generally braless.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I
always got more than a ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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New Boots 1/24/2007
An elderly couple had been married for 30 years and never
took a vaction. At the husbands urging they went to Texas
for their first vacation.
The husband wanted to see the sights while the wife just
wanted to stay in the hotel room and read.
So he goes out by himself. As he walking through town he spots
a pair of Cowboy boots in a store window. He was so taken by
these ...
0 Comments, 44 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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what to do at 57, when you have done all that you could do 1/24/2007
you know I am not mad at anyone. I have lived my life as I saw
it. God has blessed me with beautiful ladies in my life.
Now here is the rub.I am tried of love, I don't want
to be in love.Now I know love has a way of seeking up on you.If
that happen so be it, but for now I want to have fun, FUN, FUN.I
want friendships companionship's is all.So here
it is,
1. companionship and friendship
...
0 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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Tips for a Redneck 1/24/2007
Tips from the Redneck Book of Manners
1. Always identify people in your yard before shooting
at them.
2. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church.
3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
4. Even if you're certain that you are included in the
will, it is
still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral
home.
***DINING ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
0 Votes
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Yard Work As Viewed From Heaven 1/22/2007
(overheard in a conversation between God and St. Francis):
God: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature; what
in the world is going on down there in the U.S.? What happened
to the
dandelions, violets, thistles and the stuff I started
eons ago?I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those
plants grow
in any type of soil, withstand drought, and multiply with ...
0 Comments, 15 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Worth a read-agree or not 1/22/2007
Father- Talk
> >
> >
> >
> > A young woman was about to finish her first year
of college. Like so
> > many others her age, she considered herself to
be a very liberal
> > Democrat, and was very much in favor of the redistribution
of
wealth.
> >
> >
> >
> > She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather
staunch
Republican,
> > a feeling she openly expressed. ...
0 Comments, 28 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Ol'e 1/22/2007
A Doctor in Minnesota wanted to get off work and go hunting,
so he told
his assistant "Ya Ole, I am going hunting tomorrow
and we don't want
to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic
and take care
of our patients". "Yes, sir..." answers
Ole
The doctor goes hunting and returns the next day and asks:
"So Ole,
how was your day?
Ole tells him he ...
0 Comments, 32 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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Unclassified 1/21/2007
UNCLASSIFIED USMC SITE REPORT A U.S. Marine squad was marching
north of
Faluijiah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly
injured and
unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an American
Marine in a
similar but less serious state. The Marine was conscious
and alert and as
first aid was given to both men. The squad leader asked the
injured
Marine what had happened. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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A good laugh 1/20/2007
EVEN GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH...
There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone brother.
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.
But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus
was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure ...
1 Comments, 29 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Senior Moment 1/17/2007
>>
>>
>> *It was entertainment night at the** **Senior*
*Center**
>>
>> Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm
here to put you into a trance; I
>> intend to hypnotize each and every member of the
audience."
>>
>> The excitement was almost electric as Claude
withdrew a beautiful
>> antique pocket watch from his coat "I want
you each to keep your eye
>> on this antique watch. ...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Hope this clears up some things 1/2/2007
Many will recall that on July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed
that an
unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto
a sheep and
cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is
a well-known
incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S.
Air Force and
the federal government.
However, what you may NOT know is that in the month of March
1948,
...
0 Comments, 25 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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Happy New Year 1/1/2007
My Wish for You in 2007
May peace break into your house and may thieves come to steal
your debts. May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet
of $100 bills. May love stick to your face like Vaseline
and may laughter assault your lips! May your clothes smell
of success like smoking tires and may happiness slap you
across the face and may your tears be that of joy. ...
0 Comments, 12 Views,
3 Votes
,4.41 Score
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MARKETTING FOR WOMEN... 12/27/2006
MARKETING STRATEGIES.
DIRECT MARKETING............
The buzzword in today's business world is MARKETING.
However, women often ask for a simple explanation of the
various elements of "Marketing."
Well, here it is:
*You're a woman and you see a very handsome guy at a party.
You go up to him, look him straight in the eyes, and say, "I'm
totally Hot and fantastic in ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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Wee wee Chu 12/24/2006
~~Wee wee Chu~~
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and
his girlfriend Jung Lee were sitting by the side of
the ocean. It was a romantic full moon, when Huan
Cho said "Hey baby, lets play Wee wee chu."
"Oh no not now, lets look at the moon, " said
Jung Lee.
"Oh c'mon baby lets you and I play Wee wee chu.
I love
you and it's ...
1 Comments, 56 Views,
2 Votes
,5.20 Score
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Lawyers 12/20/2006
Why does the Law society prohibit \bsexo?\b between lawyers
and their ?
To prevent from being billed twice for essentially
the same service!
What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A tick falls off you when you die !
What's the difference between a dead on the road
and a dead lawyer on the road?
There are skid marks in front of ...
2 Comments, 53 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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The Elephant 12/17/2006
Mark and his wife took their young for his first visit
to the circus, and by chance, their seats were next to the
elephant pen. When Mark left to buy popcorn, the boy piped
up, "Mom!!! what's that long thing on the elephant?"
"That's the elephant's trunk, dear, "
she replied.
"No, not that!!"
"Oh, that's the elephant's tail."
"No, Mom. Down underneath!!"
His mother blushed ...
0 Comments, 17 Views,
0 Votes
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Christmas Tradition 12/12/2006
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves
did not produce
toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel
the
pre-Christmas pressure. Then Mrs Claus told Santa her
Mother was
coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three
of them were
about to give birth and two others had ...
1 Comments, 35 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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Magic 12/11/2006
Okay ladies, if you could be either Bewitched or I dream
of Jeannie, what type of man would you make for yourself?
How would he look? What kinds of character would you give
this person? What would you have him do for you?
My Answer:
I would make a man:
Dark hair, blue eyes, nice smile, a loving heart, gentle,
kind, medium tall, his built average or ...
2 Comments, 63 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Worst First Date 12/11/2006
Worst First Date
If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're
sitting down when
you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever,
first date or
not!
We have all had bad dates....but this takes the cake.
This just tells you
how tough it is to be single nowadays. This was on the "Tonight
Show"
with Jay Leno. Jay went into ...
1 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,4.87 Score
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On The Sabbath 12/6/2006
A man wonders if having \bsexo?\b on the sabbath is a sin
as he is not sure if it is work or play.
So he goes to a priest and asks. The priest consults the
bible and after an exhausting search says ‘my , ’ ‘I
am positive \bsexo?\b is work and therefore not permitted’.
The man thinks, ' What does a priest know about \bsexo?\b'?
So he consults a minister. The ...
1 Comments, 71 Views,
9 Votes
,3.00 Score
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The Race 11/28/2006
Horses Racing Today....
1. Passionate Lady
2. Bare Belly
3. Silk Panties
4. Conscience
5. Jockey Shorts
6. Clean Sheets
7. Smooth Thighs
8. Big Johnson
9. Heavy Bosom
10. Merry Cherry
Place Your Bets.
And they're off!
Conscience is left behind at the post.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off ...
1 Comments, 34 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Packing 11/19/2006
This one is for everyone who ...
a) has , b) had , c) was a , d) knows a e) is going
to have
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old
was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point
she said, "Daddy, look at this, " and stuck
out two of her fingers.
T rying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck
her tiny
fingers in my ...
1 Comments, 76 Views,
3 Votes
,5.39 Score
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Strange 11/13/2006
1000 people tell a joke.
1 guy says ROFLMAO.
Pretty funny, huh?
1 Comments, 94 Views,
3 Votes
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Guts or Balls 11/10/2006
We've all heard about people having guts or balls.
But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, the definition for each
is listed below....
GUTS - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,
being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the
guts to ask:
Are you still cleaning, or are you flying ...
0 Comments, 5 Views,
1 Votes
,3.70 Score
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Sunburned! 11/9/2006
A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets
horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly
admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns.
He was already starting to blister and in agony. The doctor
prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline
and electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four
hours.
The nurse, rather astounded, ...
1 Comments, 60 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Elderly Couple 11/9/2006
An elderly couple had been married for 30 years and never
took a vaction. At the husbands urging they went to Texas
for their first vacation.
The husband wanted to see the sights while the wife just
wanted to stay in the hotel room and read.
So he goes out by himself. As he walking through town he spots
a pair of Cowboy boots in a store window. He was so taken by
these ...
1 Comments, 82 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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Med School 11/5/2006
A Medical School Professor was giving a lecture on "Involuntary
Muscular
>>Contractions" to his first year medical
students. Realizing that this was
>>not the most riveting subject, the Professor
decided to lighten the mood
>>slightly.
>>
>>
>> He pointed to a young woman in the front row and
said, "Do you know what
>> your a**hole is doing while you're having
an orgasm?"
...
0 Comments, 52 Views,
6 Votes
,3.37 Score
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The big game hunter. 11/5/2006
The big game hunter walked in the bar and bragged to everyone
about his hunting skills.
The man was undoubtedly a good shot and no one could dispute
that.
But then he said that they could blindfold him and he would
recognize any animal's skin from its feel, and if he
could locate the bullet hole he would even tell them what
caliber the bullet was that killed the animal. ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
4 Votes
,1.69 Score
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The old lady and the bank president. 11/5/2006
An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning
with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account
and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because,
she said, she had a lot of money.
After many lengthy discussions (after all, the
is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the
president's office.
The president of the ...
1 Comments, 61 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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