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For Nonni730
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Mar 4, 2006 10:17 am
Mood: anxious,
698 Views
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I wish there was someway I could reach you other than thru the blogs...I have something I want so much to share with you so if you can find a way to reach me, pls do...or maybe Rocky can do it also...so very IMPORTANT...Please try...
Huggs to you both...
Marie
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6
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Food for thought...
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Jan 16, 2006 6:08 am
Mood: amused,
670 Views
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GREAT PHILOSOPHICAL STUDIES IN HYPOCRACIES and AMBIGUITIES
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.....
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
6.I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it
considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?
11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
19. Why do they put braille on the drive-through bank machines?
20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?
21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?
22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae-bra?
24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?
27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have "S" in it?
30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?
31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented?
34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?
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5
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Pictures from Houston Bash
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Dec 15, 2005 5:14 am
Mood: happy,
709 Views
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Hi everyone,
Well the pictures are finally ready and posted so if you care to view try the picturetrail with /txlady4u...I really did have a great time and enjoyed playing tour guide...nice way to meet everyone in a different way...so many nice folks were here in town and I am ready to attend another bash...(Sorry I did not add names to the pics...It was first time doing anything like this...)
Ya'all have a Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year...Huggs to you all...
Marie
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2
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Pictures from Houston Bash
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Dec 15, 2005 5:11 am
Mood: happy,
610 Views
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Hi everyone,
Well the pictures are finally ready and posted so if you care to view try the picturetrail.com with /txlady4u...I really did have a great time and enjoyed playing tour guide...nice way to meet everyone in a different way...so many nice folks were here in town and I am ready to attend another bash...(Sorry I did not add names to the pics...It was first time doing anything like this...)
Ya'all have a Merry Christmas and a Wonderful New Year...Huggs to you all...
Marie
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0
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A few minutes of your time...
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Oct 22, 2005 9:11 pm
Mood: irritated,
771 Views
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Well, guess it is time for me to add my few cents worth here...I have been reading several items and am glad to see that my own reasons for not coming to this site as much or going into the chat rooms often is shown by what others have written or replied to in this section...
Petty, self-centered, judgmental, and trouble makers are not why I started coming to SFF...I have talked to many from here and most are nice people...those who do not suit my personality are not ones I talk with for very long...Those people who feel they can control others by the words they use and the "fights" they have in this site are the ones who drive away people and I guess this makes them happy...as for me, I now come here to check e-mails and read blogs and see if I can catch friends in chat rooms which is not often anymore...so, after paying for membership (that was almost a waste of money) I probably will only stop by now and then to read blogs...
To those I have met and enjoyed talking with, I hope to catch you online sometime and wish you well...drop me an e-mail sometime and let me know how you are doing...
Take care friends...
Marie
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9
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Your smile for today...
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Sep 12, 2005 10:01 am
Mood: amused,
691 Views
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I have found at my age going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.
You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?
Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.
Someone has described heaven as a family reunion that never ends. What could hell possibly be like? Home videos of the same reunion?
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.
You're getting old when your wife gives up fooling around for Lent, and you don't know till the 4th of July.
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.
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5
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Hillbilly Logic
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Sep 5, 2005 9:04 pm
Mood: amused,
628 Views
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Hillbilly Logic
Deep in the back woods, of Letcher County Kentucky a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing!."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Whoa there", said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down I think
there's another one coming."
Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" Said the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one
coming!" cried the doctor.
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor,
"You reckon it might be the light what's attractin' 'em?"
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2
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Just to funny...
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Aug 31, 2005 5:37 pm
Mood: amused,
644 Views
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How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
***************************************
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."
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4
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Circle Flies...
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Aug 28, 2005 10:33 pm
Mood: amused,
550 Views
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A cowboy in Montana got pulled over by a State Trooper for speeding. The trooper started to lecture the cowboy about his speeding, and in general began to throw his weight around to try to make the cowboy feel uncomfortable. Finally, the trooper got around to writing out the ticket.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.
The cowboy said, "Having some problem with Circle
flies there, are ya?"
The trooper stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are. I never heard of Circle flies."
So the cowboy says, "Well, circle flies are common on ranches. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."
The trooper says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. Then after a minute, he stops and says, "Are you trying to call me a horse's ass?"
The cowboy says, "No, Sir. I have too much respect for law enforcement and police officers to even think about calling you a horse's ass."
The trooper says, "Well that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket.
After a long pause, the cowboy says, "Hard to fool them flies though."
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1
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Different kinds of SEX
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Aug 16, 2005 2:11 pm
Mood: amused,
805 Views
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SOCIAL SECURITY SEX
Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?" "Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex." "Social Security sex?" "Yeah, you know: I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"
LOUD SEX
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is." "The problem is," she complained, "It wakes me up!"
QUIET SEX
Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?" She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"
CONFOUNDED SEX
A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large." The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. "Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor. The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen".
WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'." "Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
WOMEN'S HUMOR
Nora's husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, she squirted it all over the doorknobs and he couldn't get back in.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says..... "I'll miss you."
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To link to this blog (txlady4u) use [blog txlady4u] in your messages.
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