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ASPIRIN...VIAGRA... ANTIBIOTICS
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Nov 10, 2009 3:11 am
457 Views
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NEW DRUGS FOR WOMEN
DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 full hours.
EMPTYNESTROGEN
Suppository that eliminates melancholy and loneliness by reminding you of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out!
ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers unconscious for up to two days.
PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.
DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in enjoyment of country music and pickup trucks.
FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
MENICILLIN
Potent anti-boy-otic for older women. Increases resistance to such lethal lines as, 'You make me want to be a better person. '
BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency, duration, and credit limit of spending spree.
JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary, phone number, or to lift the toilet seat
ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers in elevators.
NAGAMENT
When administered to a boyfriend or husband, provides the same irritation level as nagging him, without opening your mouth.
(c&p)
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FOTO FRIDAY...ACTION #2
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Nov 6, 2009 3:11 am
457 Views
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This photo was taken when Arianne and classmates in the grade school competed in a school dance competition.They won the grand prize.
Stillwatertoo was present to watch the dance.This was the first time he saw Arianne danced in public.
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15
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FOTO FRIDAY...ACTION
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Nov 5, 2009 2:28 pm
485 Views
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Marielle and Stillwatertoo taken in 2006.
I just did not know what they were talking about.
Can you guess?
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TYPES OF BOYFRIENDS
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Nov 3, 2009 3:56 am
554 Views
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1. Joe Sensitive - "After I wash the dishes, let's cuddle, OK?"
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy
2. Old Man Grumpus - "People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let's stay home and watch TV."
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the ass
3. Flinchy - "I--I'm sorry for whatever it was I did."
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle
4. Bigfoot - "Shut yer trap, I'm thinkin'."
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big 'n' Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig
5. Lazybones - "Zzzzzz"
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfull your dreams
6. The Sneak - "Who, me?"
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, G-D Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life
7. Ace of Hearts - "After I wash the dishes let's make love like crazed weasels, OK?"
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova,Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused
8. The Dreamer - "Someday I'm going to be rich and famous. I don't know how, but--"
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into "Old Man Grumpus"
9. Mr. Right - "While the servants wash the dishes, let's make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?"
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a woman's prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction
Anyone you know who possess such characters?
(c&p)
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HOMEMADE FACIAL MASKS
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Nov 2, 2009 3:28 am
574 Views
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Do-It-Yourself treatments for those who need to keep their beauty on a budget.
Organic Banana Face Mask
Your skin will have a healthy glow after applying this tropical mask to your face. This recipe is designed for all skin types.
1. Mash one half of a banana
2. Mix in a tablespoon of orange juice and a tablespoon of honey
3. Apply to the face and keep the mixture on for fifteen minutes
4. Rinse with lukewarm water and then moisturize
The Breakfast Mask
Complete with protein and whole grains, this breakfast-themed mask is used to correct and calm oily skin.
1. Combine an egg yolk, a tablespoon of honey, then a tablespoon of olive oil (yes, olive oil) and half a cup of oatmeal
2. Apply to the face for 15-20 minutes
3. Rinse with lukewarm water and then moisturize
Honey & Papaya Lightening Mask
This mask is specifically for those who have hyperpigmentation, sun spots and uneven pigment.
1. Blend together two tablespoons of honey and half a cup of mashed ripe papaya.
2. Apply on the face evenly for 15-20 minutes
3. Rinse with lukewarm water and then moisturize
Heavenly Honey Citrus Mask
This honey-and-orange-based mask is a quick fix to give your face an organic healthy glow.
1. Combine three tablespoons of orange juice with half a cup of honey
2. Apply to the face and leave on for half an hour
3. Rinse with lukewarm followed by cool water, then moisturize
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