Time For Some More Humor :)
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Posted:Aug 10, 2006 10:09 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2008 1:02 pm 1842 Views
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Hahahaha my mom sent me these the other day and I thought they were very funny, some of them. 
MURPHY'S OTHER LAWS
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear
bright until you hear them speak.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting
something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end,
someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by
those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish
and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12
people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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True Beauty. :)
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Posted:Aug 3, 2006 8:33 am
Last Updated:Apr 8, 2014 8:30 pm 1896 Views
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Okay well I'm a little frustrated because my favorite site is not working so I'm just going to write a blog here about my short vacation trip to Estes Park Colorado and Rocky Mountain National Park.
I set off yesterday about 9:15 AM from Omaha. I stopped in North Platte to visit with a friend I hadn't spoken to for about 3 years.
I had forgotten just how gorgeous the drive up Highway 34 and the Big Thompson Canyon was. By about 6:15 PM MDT I was in Estes Park. It's even more beautiful than I remembered it. I was here about 8 years ago briefly with my but we were kind of rushed and didn't get too much chance to check out the town.
I secured a place to sleep for the night which is a gorgeous campground nestled up in the mountains but a few minutes from town. A herd of about 30 elk ran by as I was registering.
Once I'd found a place to sleep I headed back to town and ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant called the Grumpy Gringo. LOL!
I had a stuffed chicken fajita burrito, a Corona and salsa and chips. It was very good. By the time I was done eating it was back to the campground to shower, wash my hair and relax before going to bed.
I was considering checking out some of the clubs in town but was pretty exhausted from the trip. Plus the GOOD news is that my cellphone WORKS up here so I could IM people and talk to my friends worldwide while I sat in my campsite waiting to go to sleep.
Today I plan to drive into Rocky Mountain National Park and go up the very scenic Trail Ridge Road. This would be a great place to have a honeymooon if I ever got married again but it's beautiful even alone.
Well my time's up on the computer.
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Hmmm haven't been here for a bit, time for another joke. :)
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Posted:Jul 23, 2006 11:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 2, 2008 1:06 pm 2001 Views
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Well, I guess it's been almost a week since I did a blog here so I'm back. Here's another joke that my friend just sent me. I thought it was kind of cute.
Dorothy and Edna two "senior" widows, are talking at the local coffee
shop.
Dorothy: "That nice Joe asked me out for a date . . . I know that you
went out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him
before
I give him my answer."
Edna: "Well . . . I'll tell you. He shows up at my apartment
punctually
at 7 P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings
me
such beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's
there
but a luxury car . . a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all......
Then he takes me out for dinner. . a marvelous dinner - lobster,
champagne,
dessert, and after-dinner drinks.
Then we go see a show . . . let me tell you, Dorothy, I enjoyed it so
much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are coming back
to
my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy, he
tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me.... two
times!"
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious! . . so you are telling me I
shouldn't go out with him?"
Edna: "No, no, no . I'm just saying, wear an old dress."
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Getting Her Back to My Place :)
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Posted:Jul 14, 2006 12:35 pm
Last Updated:Jul 19, 2014 10:09 pm 1866 Views
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Hehehehe ooo brought the beautiful greeneyed girl back to my place for some hugging and affection.
We had a really nice time and even took a picture of us together LOL!
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On What Being a Friend Means to Me. :)
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Posted:Jul 13, 2006 7:19 pm
Last Updated:Apr 11, 2014 10:44 pm 2099 Views
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Although I'm not yet really active on this site at least one of my good friends is and I thought I would say something about what being a friend means to me.
If you are my friend, I celebrate with you when you are happy and I cry with you when you are sad.
If you are my friend, we might not ever meet but I can still talk with you and we can be close.
If you are my friend, you can be from any country or culture it doesn't matter as long as we care about each other.
If you are my friend, you can be any age. I like people because they are unique, fun and great to talk to, not because of when or in what year they were born.
If you are my friend, I will stand by you and I hope you'll stand by me.
If you are my friend, I will try to tell you in a nice but firm way if I think you are making a mistake. I do this not to upset you, but because I care about you and you are my friend.
If you are my friend, I might ask you to tell me if you think I'm making a mistake because you care about me.
I look for a person who can laugh, is positive, happy, compassionate and caring because those to me are far more important qualities than anything else.
Someday I would love to meet you. I wish we lived closer. Someday I want to have a huge meeting of as many of my friends as I can get together at the same time. I've been talking about this for 2.5 years. Maybe someday it will really happen.
I will not get involved in gossip, backstabbing or drama and I hope you won't either. Life is too short for that and so am I.
Above all maybe someday we can become more than friends but even if that isn't possible you are valued and treasured as my friend and I consider your friendship a precious gift not lightly given or received.
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The Beautiful Neighbor Girl Upstairs :)
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Posted:Jul 11, 2006 9:30 am
Last Updated:Aug 4, 2008 9:41 am 1768 Views
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Ooooo she is soooooo cute and she really likes me I can tell. She was the first person to come down and say hi to me when I moved in.
She has beautiful green eyes and loves to rub her body up against me. LOL!
Isn't she gorgeous?
I don't even know her name but I've considered inviting her for dinner or maybe even a bowl of milk. LOL!
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A Blonde Joke Just for Moony :)
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Posted:Jul 9, 2006 9:51 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2007 9:53 am 1444 Views
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Okay if you're offended by blonde jokes then don't read this. LOL! It's not mine but it is funny.
This defiant beautiful blonde woman named Jennie decided she'd had it with all the annoying blonde jokes and she was going to do something although she didn't know exactly what as she drove her Mercedes convertible home from work one afternoon. As she stopped at a traffic light she looked out in the field and saw another blonde woman sitting in a rowboat in the middle of the park on the grass.
This infuriated her and since the top of her convertible was down she yelled out the window to the blonde and asked her just exactly what she was doing?
The blonde rolled her eyes impatiently and said, what do you THINK I'm doing I'm trying to row this boat back to the park bench so I can go home.
Jennie at this point became angry and yelled, don't you realize it's blondes like you that give the REST of us a bad reputation?
The blonde in the rowboat shrugged her shoulders and kept on rowing.
The light was about to change so Jennie decided she had to say one more thing before she went on her way. It's a good thing, I can't swim or I'd park this car right now and come out there and kick your ass.
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Hahahahaha and yet another :)
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Posted:Jul 9, 2006 9:22 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2006 7:33 pm 1516 Views
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Okay my friend Carole is a nurse in New Zealand and she's always sending me jokes to brighten my day. Here is one she told the other day on my Omaha Friends group on FF.
Now if you're touchy maybe don't read it, but it is funny.
The Wal-Mart Shopper
A very unattractive, mean actin' woman walks into Walmart with her two . After shoving her way past several customers waiting to
get carts, she says to the Walmart greeter,
"Go through those carts and find me one that doesn't need oiling for once!"
"Yes Ma'am, happy to oblige," says the Greeter, and goes and picks out a cart for her.
"Here you are, Ma'am, hope this one is okay," he says.
"If you'd get out of my way, maybe I could find out!" snaps the woman.
"Sorry, Ma'am," the Greeter says, standing aside, "And you and the twins have a nice day."
The woman snarls, "They're not twins, you moron! They don't even look alike."
The greeter smiles, "No they don't Ma'am. I just couldn't believe you got laid twice."
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Another Funny One. :)
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Posted:Jul 8, 2006 11:10 am
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2007 9:36 am 1377 Views
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This one was sent to me by my brother and it cracked me up as well. LOL!
Dave's Bad Night
Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and
plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so
for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings
over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,
"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud
at the end of the first nine, Honey."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave,
starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi Davey. Want your usual
table dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door,
he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper
must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4-letter
word in the book.
The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real bitch his
time."
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My Mom's Casino Joke :)
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Posted:Jul 7, 2006 10:54 am
Last Updated:Nov 20, 2006 7:36 pm 1361 Views
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My mom sent me this joke via e-mail the other day and I thought it was funny. I posted it on FF on one of my boards but thought I'd post here on my blog as it seems to go with my latest theme
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.
A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play topless."
With that, she stripped to the waist, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Southern Girl needs new clothes!"
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!"
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings..........and her clothes, and quickly departed.
The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know... I thought you were watching."
Moral -
Not all Southerners are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb,
But all men..... Are men.
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