I was doing a little Spring cleaning, when I found a note, which my wife had written me. It was written shortly after we got engaged. I want to share it with you, but first some background info, so you will be able to follow along.
The term garden Party refers to making love.
A little prehistory, shortly after we got engaged, Danita( my fiancee) was back in the hospital. I had gone down to the gift shop, because I wanted to get her something. What I found was a heart shaped pillow, which had two pups on it. When you press the button, the pups wag their tails, and music plays "Love Will Keep Us Together".
Now back to our regularly scheduled bog....
I came home from work one day, and I couldn't find Danita anywhere. When I looked on the bed, I found the heart pillow, with this note.
{Dearest R,
I love you. I know these balloons are lighter than air, but just so you know, on our "gardening trips" you take me higher than these balloons could ever go. Actually, that goes for the whole relationship, not just the "gardening"( I know what your thinking...Yes ma'am, your welcome.) HAving you & being loved by you is wonderful beyond words. I am looking forward to many years of love, joy & happiness with you. The love is what will sustain us when times are worse rather than better, when a coin toss turns up poorer, instead of richer. We have already had a taste of the sickness, that is the flip side of health. Thur the years Love will Keep Us Together. So press the appropriate place on the pillow. I love you.}
Upon reading this note, I heard water running in the bathroom, where I found Danita in a bubble bath. I will leave the rest up to your imagination. I hope you enjoy my little note. It bought back a lot of pleasant memories to me.
For those of you who remember, those are lyrics, from an old Elvis song from the 50's. Now those words, also have a very special meaning to me. Everyone knows, that I write alot of blogs about my wife. By sharing my memories of her, it helps me to remember the good times we had, so I can deal with the lonlinesss now. It also allows the ladies, to take a glimpse into the relationship we shared. Well here's another one.
After we got engaged, the only time that she ever took her ring off was when she was mixing hamburger meat for making meatloaf. WHen she was finished, she would wash her hands, and immediatley put her ring back on. After we go my weeding band, I wore my ring on my right hand. The next time , that my wife had to go to the hospital, I wore her ring around my neck on a chain. After that, if anyone ever saw me wearing her ring on a chain around my neck, they instantly knew, that she was back in the hospital. Before we were married, she went in to have a proceedure done. It was during that stay, that her left lung collasped, and almost died. My wedding band immediately went from my right hand to my left. When my wife passed away, In July of last year, I took to wearing her ring around my neck again. It was only recently, around the end of January, that I started wearing my ring on my right hand again. Yesterday, I noticed that my fingers on my right hand were swelling. Today, I noticed it again. So this afternoon, while I was at work, I took my ring off, and joined it with my wife's ring on the chain. SO now, I wear both rings around my neck.
While I was getting ready for work this morning, I was listening to one of my Elvis CD's. The song, "American Trilogy" came on, and it made me think of this memory, which I wanted to share with you.
When my wife and I were first dating, a friend of mine called me up one friday night at work, to see what time I was to get off. He had wanted to go, to one of the local karaoke clubs, to do a little singing. I told him, we needed to take Dantia (MY wIFE)along, since she had heard me sing. After we had been there for a while, it was my turn to sing. I was going to do the Elvis song, "The American Trilogy". As I got to the part in the song, where there is an instrumental part, I go into my Elvis routine, where I start to do all the Elvis style moves. My friend leans over to Dantia, and infoms her, that I am getting ready to channel Elvis. She was duly impressed. From that moment on, whenever I sang an Elvis song, I was "channeling" Elvis LOL. WAfter we got married, we had even dicussed me doing an Elvis act, which I called the Alternate Elvis tribute show, where i would not only sing his songs, but also other songs, that he might have sung, if he had lived. However, now that my darling is in Heaven, I am sure she has Elvis "channeling" me. LOL God I miss her and miss singing to her. "Love me tender, love me sweet never let me go....."
I recently read a blog on the subject of respect. So while I agree with some of what was written, I however, do have a few things to add. I was taught growing up, that respect was something that was not to be given freely. It was something to be earned. The way to do that is to treat others, as you would want to be treated. With that said, you should treat your kids and grandkids with respect, as how you treat them, will influence how they treat you. Respect the people you work with, it will make it easier, for you to get along with them. Respect your employer, and if you cant do that, at least respect the postion they hold. Respect your friends, the people you meet on the street, and people in the chatrooms and blogs. Its ok to have different opinions, but if you disagree thats ok too. If you have a conflict with someone, than respect the conflict, and thandont say anything. As dear old Mom used to say, if you cant say something nice about someone, than dont say anything at at. I know this may sound easier said than done, but in my book, I think its worth a try.
As I sit here, just thinking about tomorrow, I cant help but dread it. Its another milestone, another first without out my wife. I have already gone through my first Anniversary, My first Chistmas, and her birthday. However, when I think about what Valentines Day stands for, when you get past all the commericalism, its about LOVE. The most precious gift that God has given us. SO with that, I think of my wife, and all the happy times we shared, and they make me smile. I was very blessed to have her in my life, even if only for a small time. I also know, that she would not want me to be alone and unhappy. My life is still a wreak and a shabbles, but I feel that I am getting a little better each day. So I am not afraid of Valentines day. I say bring it on!!! All ladies who need or want a Valentine, well here I am
And baby, I know you are watching...I ;ove you, and Happy Valentines Day to you.
LAtely I have just really been feeling sorry for myself. Its mostly when I am at home, that I feel this way. Once I am out and about, I am fine. I was in the rooms today, and someone asked me how I was, and when I explained, everyone was all really nice. I am blessed to have such good friends in here. I am still trying to deal with this, and somedays are better than others. Back before Christmas, I had a SFF member call me a hypocrite, because here I was supposed to be grieving my wife, and Iwas flirting in the rooms. A hour later, the person apologized. I know the kind of person my wife was, and I know what she would want me to do. However, that doesnt mean I love or miss her any less. I want to thank all of you, for your kind words, thought and prayers. Thanks for being there for me. maybe soon, I will be able to get over my pity party.
Today is a big day for many Americans, because it is Super Sunday. The day of the big game. The Super bowl. While I do plan to watch the game, today is important to me for a different reason. Today is my late wife's birthday. She would have been 48 years old today. I probably would have brought dinner home, and we would have watched the game as we ate.We would have rooted for the Giants, who are the underdogs in this game, and found our selves laughing at the commercials. I jst wanted to take the time to tell her Happy Birthday, and that I still love her and miss her.
Dont get me wrong, I love my country, and I was honored to serve her, for 8 years of my life. However, I can readlly admit, that our once great nation is starting to flounder. While we face many problems, there is one, which is more deadly than the others. There is one word, that says it all....GREED. Our big businesses close down factories own our home soil, which puts people out of work, only to open factories in places like mexico, China, Tawaiian, and Japan. The factories that are still here cuts costs by laying people off, while at the same time, the Senior executives give themselves pay raises.
We also worry about illegal immigration, but at the same time, we give them health benfits, which our own citizens can't afford.
Our ecomony is shot to Hades. We are paying $3.00 and up for a gallon of gas, which causes taxi fares and bus fares to go up. The ones who drive, now can barely afford to go work and back home, let let going out to eat or say to the movies.
People with college degrees cant find work. The housing market is down. The American dream is virtually dead. I think it can be revived, but its going to take a lot of work. May God have mercy on our souls.
First of all, have you ever noticed, that blogs that tend to stir things up receive the most responses. Many blogs, which are well thought out, and come from the heart, while it may viewed alot, they do not receive many responses. I wonder why that is.
As in real life, chat and blogs are sources of Positive and negative energy. Good and evil. Ying and Yang. Quite often, a few choice words in a chat room can take a fun filled environment, into a hateful display of cuss words and vulgarity. Or a blog meant to inspire can be tarnished, by negative remarks filled with jealousy and slander.
Now chat has this wonderful device. Its the Ignore(Iggy) Button. If you don't care someone, and the kind of things they chat about, you just simply iggy them. Then no more problem. Now blogs is a little harder to control. Oh you could limit them to just your friends, but In my mind thats no solution. I am just going to make a request. To put the poison pens aside, and to try to act in a civil manner. There are a few bad apples, who want to spoil it for everyone else. If they address you in chat, you can either ignore them, or you can try being nice to them. If you try the latter, you never know. they just might surprise you. God bless us all...everyone
Its been roughly 5 months since my wife passed away, and I admit, that I am still having a rough time with it. I have many friends in here, who has given me so very good advice. Basically, that no one person grieves the same way, and that its just a matter of time. I thank all my friends for their good advice However, there is one thing, that keeps coming into my mind. That quaestion is, where is she now, and is she Happy? Many times at funerals, it is often said by members of the clergy, that our loved ones are up in Heaven. if that is so, than when in the bible, it talks about The Rapture, it says the dead in Christ will rise first, but if they go to Heaven right after they die, then what can rise? Is it the physical body? If someone has the answer, please let me know, because it would be a great comfort to me, to know that she is there, and that someday she will be waiting for me.
