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Depression and the Holidays....... Dec 3, 2008 10:29 am
Mood: drained, 65 Views
The "she" is my later blog is my mother's sister, my aunt.....who has out lived two husbands, never had any children beyond her dogs and my last living relative on my mother's side of the family. To update her condition.....she is back at her home and seems to be doing well.
I make the three hour trip down to GA from NC at least once a month....to make sure all of her affairs are in line, there is food in the house and to spend some time with her.
The last month has been trying to say the least for me....between over time at work to be able to have three days off to journey down to GA, being sick with a lung infection for over a week now and just basically trying to stay a little sane with all of this, but there is a weight this year on my soul with the death of my 36 year old daughter last Feb....things are so different.
Life is a growing experience even when we find ourselves in our silver and golden years. Things, good and bad happen in our journey that can make one appreciate the blueness of the sky or the darkest night. Some days seem never ending and others just zoom by.
With the additional responsibility of an elderly aunt in other state, the holidays has not felt as the ones of holidays past. My lack of interest of things that I used to do with a passion such as writing, reading my books, cooking has been put on the way side. Maybe tomorrow I will cook that cake.....maybe tomorrow I will write those words and thoughts down again to share....aw, the book will be there tomorrow....
Do not know this the situation of everything is just compounded due to the holidays that is quickly approaching but last week, I walked into a doctor's office......with the complaint that I just do not seem to feel good anymore. Opened that door to feeling good again....and this is my goal. To remove the weight out of my soul....
I will make an honest attempt to keep all posted for the next couple of weeks....or until I can find that medium point of wellness ....
2 Comments
~~Have You ever.....?~~ Nov 6, 2008 2:19 pm
Mood: experimental, 152 Views
Sit and watch the leaves rain down off the trees.....
a chipmunk play in the sand.....
notice how bright the colors are in the sky.....

funny.....

in our daily life....

do we really stop and see these things?
7 Comments
~~PROMISE KEEPER~~ Nov 6, 2008 2:15 pm
Mood: drained, 144 Views
The phone call came last Friday night after I had gotten off of work...."you need to come down to GA, she is in the hospital again".
My sister and I share joint power of attorney of her affairs and when I arrived at the hospital the following day, my sister had decided to go ahead on her own and attempt to get her placed in a local nursing home. Her mental health has been on the down ward spiral for the last year...wanting to eat just junk food, being anti social to most people in general and this last call was prompted when a neighbor that was late for work found her wandering in her front yard in her PJ's looking for "that" dead deer. The neighbor helped her into her home and then.....she was seeing rabbits and squirrels in the house along with some red headed lady fixing her phone.....these things were not seen at all by the neighbor.
It was a very unpleasant day for all with the discussion on how to handle this situation getting to the point of yelling at each other. This was not the way to solve anything in my book but my sister deciding that her life is just as important as her and that the situation needed a place where she would be safe and looked after. Her thought was just "I just want to go home".....
To make a long story short.....my sister no longer shares the power of attorney....I am sole decider now.
I stayed a couple of days after she got out of the hospital to make sure all was well, there was food in the refrig.....I have a job here in NC and not of retiring age to quit. I am 3 hours away and have arranged to get two days off during the week to come down to make sure she gets to her doctor's appointments, her bills are paid and any thing else that is needed to be done.
I made a promise to her when I was around nine years old....never put me in a home when I get old.
I am keeping that promise and also at this point allowing her the freedom of choice. What tomorrow may bring.....will be dealt with as it come.....
7 Comments
~~Thoughts of love~~ Oct 14, 2008 11:14 am
Mood: annoyed, 175 Views

He, in his gentleness
loving and wooing
crept in my waiting heart
to it's undoing
fires that I light
he gently put out
faith was replaced
by her dark sister, doubt
music once played there
only to cease
now in it's stillness
there is no peace.....

I would have you love me
what ever way you must
till all of your dreams are ashes
and all the ashes, dust
love me with a passion
born of discontent
in what ever fashion
so the coins are all spent
do not heed the whisper
that would break the spell
life, herself grows cold sometimes
being loved too well.....
3 Comments
Your cheating heart..... Oct 4, 2008 11:08 am
721 Views
There has been a discussion in this household about it is ok to talk up the opposite sex online when the other is at work....
believe me, this is pretty one sided here because I am not online unless he is sitting here beside me...in short, there is no secrets on my behalf.
Is talking to the opposite sex online while the other is out of the house.....cheating?
I am open to opinions on this subject please....
yes
no
25 Comments, 37 votes
~~FALL ON THE MIND~~ Sep 28, 2008 11:55 am
Mood: special, 219 Views
Last night
nature danced with the wind
holding high her paint filled brush
scattering yellow, orange and red
upon the sourwood leaves
the beauty of the change
gives me a pause
as I admire and listen....
for the sounds of coming fall
yellow petals fall
from black eyed daisies
broken rusty stems
no longer nourish blooms
all of this reminds me
of the coming barren season
melancholy thoughts
posses me
green leaves on trees
are there for me today
tomorrow's vision
I can not fathom......
1 comment
~~THE FABRIC OF LIFE~~ Sep 28, 2008 11:49 am
Mood: a fall mood....., 242 Views
Some days
like cotton socks
are open woven...
~cozy~
Others,
like tweed or mohair
entice the eye
prove prickly against bare skin
days of denim
fade upon long wearing
gain comfort and character
some days drape together
into long folds
shine in memory
like satin....

May all of you be enjoying a wonderful fall weekend
with peace and love.....
2 Comments
~~TIME FOR A SMILE~~ Sep 24, 2008 8:51 am
Mood: mischievous, 287 Views
In this unbelievable time here in the mountains of North Carolina when you are lucky to find some gas for your car or at this time just a station that has gas.....the lines are miles long and the tempers short. I, for one have no place to be because I am in between jobs and the refrig is full......
so I thought some things I recently read in a catalog would make you smile for just a minute.....so I am sharing....

Geezer formally known as stud muffin

National Sarcasm Society
like we need your support

I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left

I used to care but I take a pill for that now

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy

Remember.....as far as anyone knows, we are a normal family

I did not say it was your fault, I said that I was going to blame you

You don't have to be crazy to work here....
we will train you

laugh and smile, it does the soul and heart good!
4 Comments
~~AN UNCOMPLICATED SOUL~~ Sep 23, 2008 9:43 am
Mood: content, 285 Views
The morning here on HogWash Mountain began with the normal cup of hot coffee on the front porch, enjoying the sun peeking up through the trees, the sun rays playing across the dewy grass and the air full of the sounds of the hummingbird fights. There are two feeders on opposite sides of the porch and no way will they share...if one is at one feeder, it does not allow any of the others to feed on the second one. So the day is filled with watching two or more of these beautiful little active birds fight... It is normal for one to stop mid-flight in front of your face to study you and you it...wondering if it is going to fly away or just into your face.
This morning had hints of the new season that is on us...Fall. Cooler air forcing warmer sweat suits or sweaters instead of shorts....and the time outside to enjoy the morning is due in short spells so you can go back inside to warm up again.
Hot homemade biscuits and sausage gravy fills the kitchen with a home feeling as it cooks and sure does fill the stomach and the soul quickly.
Another cup of coffee after wards outside and I turned to him to ask...."does Fall have a feeling?" Yes, it is about bountiful harvest and gathering up food. I have had to think about this subject this morning before writing my blog...
Spring has the rebirth feeling after the long winter. The new blooms on the flowers, the warmth of the sunshine and naturally...love is in the air.....everything is mating including people! lol
Winter is a quieter season with the softness of the snow and the earth blankets of white. The trees are bare, there are few flowers and sometimes you can not see where the grass is.
Summer is vacations, time with the family together since there is no school and brightness bordering often on HOT.
So I have come to see that Fall is the welcome from summer heat, when children return to their schedules and like a down time for all things.
Plants, trees and flowers have pleasured all summer with their growth and sweet soft flowers. The fruits and vegetables of summer that was enjoyed and canned.
Now, the season gives us one last chance for praising the beauty around us with colors of yellow, red and orange before the land goes into it's rest and slumber time....
so, please take that time to go outside and enjoy the season....
3 Comments
~~ACORNED!!!!~~ Sep 20, 2008 10:16 am
Mood: refreshed, 330 Views
Finally after almost a week of dark and damp weather here on the North Carolina Hog Wash mountain, the sun has decided to make a return appearance, much to my over joy!
Love the rain days and nights, thunderstorms I honestly get a little excited with because of the wrath of nature, but not for a week at a time. It had gotten to the point not seeing the top of the mountain from the front porch that I wondered if David Copperfield was around to make that disappear also!
Much to poor little Cookie's joy also, for he does not care to get his feet wet and never his own body so his daily walks were limited to the bottom of the steps in front of the cabin here. I was getting tired of washing them every day too and thought about just corking the dog until nicer weather.
Our morning walk, seeing the wonderful shades of green showing hints that fall is not to far away greeted the two of us. And a discovery that most of the trees we were enjoying walking under was oak trees.....snap....as the acorn separates from the limb....crackle....as it crashes through the tree leaves and pop....as it hits your head or the ground. What a rude awakening to have that happen to you when you less expect it! When the wind started it was like being in an acorn shower.....
But life is good.....
Our black bear visitor was away for a couple of days...that was nice because we would be very loud when we walked on the property in the evening...not wanting NO 300 lb surprises. I was told if ever I find myself in front of this bear....to make myself big (a hard thing to do when I am only 5ft2), be loud (hey, I am a female and I could talk anything to death!) or go into a fetal position (that idea is not going to work for me, I wear tennis shoes to bed now and the thought of laying down as jaws comes over me.....hey....NOT going to happen.....it will have to catch me slipping on my crap because running and pooping will be what I would be doing).
In our morning walk this morning, the trash can was turned over and a beautiful set of bear claws in the side of the can......and it left a nice bear reminder on the edge of the driveway....and I know for a fact...it likes the acorns that pops me on my head!



~there is a monastery within the soul of me
where treasured dreams go in search of wings
some cling to the safety of silence
some find quick winds and are lost in flight
and some......ah, some!
emerge like meteors
embracing the night......
3 Comments
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Most Recent Comments by Others
PostPosterPost Date
Depression and the Holidays.......dlw79912Dec 3 6:04 pm
~~PROMISE KEEPER~~sandlinwesternncNov 7 1:09 pm
~~Have You ever.....?~~RedRidingHood10Nov 6 8:06 pm
~~Thoughts of love~~MrNiceGuy1954Oct 31 7:47 am
Your cheating heart.....sandlinwesternncOct 30 2:22 pm
Home Is Where The Heart Is.....sandlinwesternncOct 30 2:00 pm
~~THE FABRIC OF LIFE~~starphyshSep 28 2:19 pm
~~FALL ON THE MIND~~traveler56Sep 28 1:23 pm
~~TIME FOR A SMILE~~michianaredheadSep 24 1:29 pm
~~AN UNCOMPLICATED SOUL~~LoyalLiz2Sep 23 5:12 pm
~~ACORNED!!!!~~imatalloneSep 20 4:23 pm