|
SATURN INMATES...92.
|
Sep 11, 2008 12:10 am
Mood: amused,
769 Views
|
But the dream you gave me was brought down to earth with a bang when you started talking in your sleep. I lay in bed, listening to you, your plans.
So now, you will know I have taken the money from the desk. I can now afford to travel and find a partner.
And, before I left, I have e-mailed all the women on our books and explained what you were up to, how you were going to run away with their money. I also gave them this address, telling them to be here early this morning, to catch you before you ran away.”
The classroom was quiet, digesting the information, then erupted into a loud noise of cheers, catcalls and stamping of feet.
“Quiet!”, roared Hulk, coming to stand beside Slippery Eel’, his eyes menacing as he stared round the room. The room became quiet.
“What happened?”, asked Hulk.
“I ran upstairs to get dressed and take whatever I could get hold off. All the money had been stolen, even my jewellery, my watch and gold chain.
It was as I was getting dressed, I heard this noise outside, growing louder, like a swarm of angry wasps and, when I looked out of the window… There was hundreds of these women, surrounding the house, all shouting my name and waving umbrellas and sword-sticks. I was terrified… They would lynch me if they got in!
So I had to phone the police, to come and rescue me.
I would rather be here, in prison, than face that baying mob”
It was the next day that I sat on a chair in the ‘Pink’ cell. Jack was tidying and fussing around, while Jill was still giggling over the story ‘Slippery Eel’ had told.
“Mind you, Chuckles.”, Jill said, becoming serious.
“You know what this means? ‘Slippery Eel’ was the last of the Saturn signs and we have gone from Saturn in Aries, through all the Saturn sign till we reached and finished Saturn in Pisces. So there will be no more stories or fun times.
“But we will always have our ‘Fun-Times’, you and I, sweetheart.”, said Jack, leaving his dusting, to put his arm round Jill’s shoulders.
“Oh, Jack, darling.”, said Jill and began to cry.
Jack ‘Shushed’ the sobbing Jill, while I always got embarrassed when others openly shed tears. It sort of always left me helpless, not knowing what to do, as far as offering comfort goes.
And it was while I was sitting with this uncomfortable feeling, that I heard the loud voice of Hulk shouting from the hall below.
“Dimballs!...Dimballs!... Get your head down here right away!”
“What took you so long?”
Hulk stood at the botton, tapping his foot impatiently as he watched me clamber down the iron stairway, taking two at a time. I was puffing like a carthorse at a racing-track, totally knackered.
“Sorry, Hulk.”, I wheezed… “What is it?”
“What I want you to do is to go down to the reception area, where you will find that idiot twerp of a fool who will soon be my ‘Son-In-Law’.
Take him up to my cell and show him his bunk.
Then I want you, personally, to go to the kitchen and make me the biggest bucket of cabbage you can… Add some brussel-sprouts and beans, with a good dose of garlic, red chilli peppers and ginger.
Bring it up to my cell when it’s ready…You got that?”
“Yes, Hulk.”
I walked away, my mind was racing. The only person it could be was Alexo, Hulk’s future ‘Son-In-Law’. My feet moved faster as my happiness wound me up.
“Hallo Alexo.”, I said.
Alexo sat on a chair, the small bundle of his belongings on his lap, looking small and frail in the grey of prison uniform.
“Richard!”, he exclaimed, jumping up… “Am I glad to see you!”
He began to tell me of his plight, how he had been arrested at the airport, buying a ticket with the forged money.
“I was accused of being a master forger, Richard! I was charged with…”
“Yes, Alexo.”, I broke in. “I do know what it’s like to be charged with things which had nothing to do with me… You would remember my case, wouldn’t you?”
Alexo fell silent, hugging his bundle.
“Don’t worry, Alexo. You will soon grow used to the feeling of being unfairly treated, you have plenty of time.”
It was not that I felt sorry for this reprobate, the slow tears which trickled down his face and the look of fear caused me to feel pity for him, but never sympathy.
“Come with me, Alexo… Let me show you where you will sleep.”
I led Alexo through the hall and up the iron staircase, then along the landing, till we reached an open cell door.
“My God, Richard… What is that smell?”
Alexo was peering into the cell, his nose shrinking back from the violence of the cabbage smell, his eyes taking in the green tinge of the walls and the bunk-beds sited against the far wall.
“That is your bunk, the lower one, Alexo. If I were you, I would make yourself comfortable, before your cell-mate arrives, after he has had his tea.”
Alexo sttod inside the doorway, seeming lost and alone. He clutched at my arm.
“Where are you going, Richard?”
“I have to go down to the kitchen and make Hulk a large bucket of cabbage for his tea.”.
I left Alexo standing there, listening to my laughter as it floated back at him.
THE END.
And now, my dear readers and friends... I take my leave of you all. There is work to be done, a book to edit and another book of poetry I have to complete, along with a dear friend.
And so, I shall not be around for some time, till these tasks are finished.
I ask that you all be well and continue to enjoy this site...
Ron.
|
|
|
8
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...91.
|
Sep 9, 2008 11:45 pm
Mood: amused,
707 Views
|
The chance came when, queuing up to purchase a few items in a grocery store, a lady behind me began to chat.
“You know.”, I said after some opening lines and a few jokes… “You are quite an attractive lady.”
Judy laughed and nodded.
“Don’t you know, I used to be a model in my younger days.”
“Younger days? Anyone would believe you are ninety, the way you talk... And you could still be a model with your looks.”, I replied.
“Go on, you flatterer. No-one wants us old girls. I’m fifty-five, so who wants women like me?”
When you think of it, it’s a game, fishing for compliments. But the idea struck me that the older a woman got, the more assurance a woman wanted, that someone found a need in her, that she was still found attractive, that a man would want her.
“Do you know what I think?”, I asked, collecting my groceries and about to leave.
“Tell me?”, she said, her eyes alight.
“I think I will start of a modelling agency for women over fifty.”
Judy laughed and called out…
“You will have hundreds of bored ‘Grannies’ joining up, a new lease of life!”
“I’m sure I will.” I floated my words back as I left the store.
My mind was working on a plan of sorts, when the sharp ‘Beep’ of a motor-horn made me jump.
“Want a lift?”
It was Judy, her face smiling up at me.
It was as she drove me to my home that the plan was hatched. Judy seemed to have a good knowledge of setting up a business scheme, using the internet and with advertising. So it was not long before we were more than just business partners. We were lovers and
pooling our knowledge and finances.
“So what happened, Slippery? Did you slip her one?”, shouted Shorty.
“That’s my secret!”, exclaimed ‘Slippery Eel’, before continuing his story, then stated... “My love-life has nothing to do with you!”
The room agreed, stamping and cheering its approval.
“Anyway… Judy set the plan into action and, to be honest, I could not believe how many women came to be signed up. Judy did the office work, making notes and filing, while I worked as the photographer, taking pictures for the port-folio. If it was possible, we demanded cash, putting it away in safe-keeping. The plan was, to take the ladies on a glorious ‘Photo-Shoot’ in Hawaii. It got so much, that we had three hundred women on our books and still more coming, all waiting for the time when Judy and I announced the day when we would be off, on the fabulous ‘Photo-Shoot’.”
“Ciggy-Break!”, shouted Hulk, bored with the story and demanding a mug of tea from Nobby Cracker.
Shorty was deposed from the height of the tea-trolley, while Nobby Cracker poured out a mug of the stewed tea.
Clouds of smoke rose ceiling-wards as those who smoked, lit up cigarettes and relaxed.
”Ciggy-Break over!”, shouted Hulk, having finished his tea and satisfied that his orders controlled the inhabitants of the classroom.
‘Slippery Eel’ sat at the desk, his eyes sad as he waited.
“Have you finished your story, Slippery?”, shouted Terry-No-Teeth.
“Well, I was waiting for everyone to settle down and be quiet.”, answered ‘Slippery Eel’.
“Well, we are all settled down, so get on with it.”, demanded Hulk.
‘Slippery Eel’ rose and got on with the story.
“As I was saying... I was expected to give a date for the ‘Photo-Shoot in Hawaii, plus give all the women their respective photo-albums, the port-folios.
Well... As you all can guess, all those camera-shots I took of the women were useless, simply because I had no film in the camera. My idea was to wait till Judy was asleep, then creep downstairs and take all the money we had taken from the women, a nice few grand. Then off I would go, down the road with my loot!”
“Very slippery, Slippery!”, exclaimed Shorty.
“We all have to make a living.”, explained ‘Slippery Eel’, his eyes seeking sympathy from the room.
“Anyway.”, he collected composure. “The night of my plan, I took Judy out for a meal and let the wine flow. When we got home, I plied her with more drink and then took her to bed, to complete a very tiring evening for her.”
“Tell us about the sex!”, demanded ‘Mousey’, half-drunk and sniffing at the air as if smelling cheese.
‘Slippery Eel’ ignored him, eyes raised, first to heaven and then back to the room.
“Of course.”, he said, “I had drunk quite a bit and Judy is somewhat insatiable, for a woman of her age. So, as you can imagine, I soon fell asleep.
The next morning, I woke quite late and with a really big headache. I rolled over, to make sure that Judy was asleep and found she was not in bed. I lay there for a while, thinking about this change to my plans and decided to get Judy to go for an errand, which would allow me time to get the money and run.
Going downstairs, I shouted for Judy but there was no answer. When I got to the kitchen, there was a letter left on the middle of the table and I opened it.”
The class leaned forward in anticipation, knowing that the end of the story was to come.
“The letter went... I would have been your life-partner, been true to you. But you were not as you seemed, just an illusion, a promised dream. You made me believe in you, as a ‘Soul-Mate’.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...90.
|
Sep 8, 2008 11:08 pm
Mood: amused,
684 Views
|
The noise in the room dies quickly as the large figure of Hulk moved to the front of the class and I felt my heart lurch as he stood and fixed me with a glare.
“Dimballs!”, he roared.
I could feel my heart racing and my knees knocking in fear. What on earth had I done? I had this sense of those around me seeming to fade away, leaving me alone and defenceless.
“Yes, Hulk.”
I heard my voice, quacking and high-risen, like a schoolboy in distress.
“Did you know about that shite-house twerp my Cordelia was going to marry?”
“Alexo, Hulk?... Did I know about what?”
“Did you know he tricked my dear Cordelia to help him escape from the ‘Safe-House’, to steal all my money and do a runner, leaving my daughter alone miles out in the country?”
“I didn’t know that, Hulk…I had no idea!”, I exclaimed, putting as much surprise as I could into my voice.
“Well then... Let me introduce you to ‘Hand’s On’ Phil.”, said Hulk, motioning with a hand.
‘Hand’s On’ Phil, alias ‘Handy’, alias the forger from Saturn in Virgo, walked up and stood beside Hulk.
“Now.”, said Hulk, pointing at ‘Handy’, “My friend Handy, here, has been helping me make a few notes, forged banknotes. It was only after I had them sent out, that my friend, Handy, tells me he forgot to put the numbers on them, which means these notes will be spotted a mile away, if anyone cares to spend them.”
Hulk looked round the room, then back at me.
“And guess what notes that idiot stole? He stole all the dodgy banknotes. So it is not going to be long before he’s caught out… And I would like to hear him explain to the law exactly how he came to be in possession of a load of forged banknotes!”
A roar of approval went round the room as Hulk belched out loud laughter, removing himself from the stage, Handy following him.
Seated himself next to Jimmy The Pin, Hulk shouted for ‘Slippery Eel’ to start telling his story.
My mind was not on ‘Slippery Eel’ as he made his way to the front, my thoughts on Alexo and how he would be getting on, where he was now and if he was okay. I knew I would not care to be in his shoes if Hulk’s friends caught him. In a way, he would be better off in a prison, miles away, where no-one could find him.
Strange business, why I should worry about a man who had caused me so much misery in my life.
My thoughts evaporated as ‘Slippery Eel’ raised his voice and I set myself to listen.
“I was a photographer, a good one and not really happy simply being a photographer, a ‘Snap-Happy-Chappie’, as we were called at the tourist sights. There was little money in the game and, what with trying to get couples to stand while I took their photos, then getting them to pay me, on the pretext I would be sending the snap to their address.
Then, dodging the police and the tax-man, there was the weather to contend with... And those bleeding little ‘Throw-Away’ cameras which people carried.”
“Ah… Shame!”, cajoled Terry-No-Teeth, so that others copied him, that cries of ‘Shame!’ carried round the room.
‘Slippery Eel’s eyes became limpid pools of luminous emotion as he looked around the room. Waiting till the noise died down.
“Thank you.”, he said, then continued…
“Anyone with an eye for the main chance will, eventually, find a way to combine business with pleasure… Well, not exactly pleasure but with business in a happy way.
The thing I had to do was find a niche in the market and, what I noticed, in the photo-game, was that the older ladies, those in their fifties and upwards, were the easiest to flatter. It was the words one used, like explaining ‘Wrinkles’ as ‘Laughter-Lines’…And ‘Crows Feet’ round the eyes as ‘Trails of Experience.’… Then there were the bags under the eyes, I called them ‘Vanity Cases.’.
So, it was obvious, I decided to play upon the vanity of the elder female.
|
|
|
4
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...89.
|
Sep 7, 2008 11:36 pm
Mood: amused,
739 Views
|
‘Slippery Eel’ was a tall, slim-built man, with small ears and large luminous pale blue eyes. While his demeanour seemed calm, I always got the sense that there was an electric energy running the engine beneath. He was also a consummate actor, able to make you laugh with just a look, or sad as his eyes dripped tears… ‘Slippery Eel’ was, indeed, a slippery fish!
And so, he waited for his turn, to tell his story in front of the crowded classroom.
First came the ‘Bingo’, a firm favourite, which always ended with an argument. Then came the ‘Bazaar’, the art classroom quickly turned into a small and busy market, what Nobby Cracker named the ‘Fiddler’s Den’.
“Now... Before we start our story, told in his own words by our very own ‘Slippery Eel’, we have an auction, run by our very own… ‘Hawksey Bluebottle’!”
These words were shouted out by ‘Tony Testeronie’, a man who once worked as a warm-up man for comedians in a community centre. He threw out his arms as he shouted, dramatic in interpretation.
“And here he is…’Hawksey Bluebottle’!”, he concluded, pointing towards the man and motioned ‘Hawksey’ to take his place on centre-stage.
Hawksey opened the bag he carried and, from it, drew out some carrots, which he placed on the desk in front of him.
The class was silent, gauging the carrots, then eyes back on ‘Hawksey’s face as he then drew out a handkerchief and began to unwrap the set of false teeth which he had prised from the mouth of ‘Slop-Bucket’ Wilson, on his demise.
“Here!”, he shouted, holding the teeth high in the air… “Is one set of teeth which are worth their weight in gold. They do not fit me and so I am willing to sell them to the highest bidder.
Here, on the table are some ‘Testing Carrots’. If you are interested in buying the teeth and wish to test them, please step forward.”
Four men stepped forward, each removing their own teeth and, taking it in turns, tried the false teeth, inserting them and then biting on a carrot, testing the bite. Two of the men, rejected the teeth, stating they did not fit, quickly replacing their own dentures. But two men decided they would bid on the teeth. The bidding war opened, starting off with an offer of two bars of chocolate, five cigarettes and a small silver thimble. The bidding rose and the air grew tense with excitement. At last, the winner, one ‘Nosey Drippings’ bid three bars of chocolate, ten cigarettes and some valuable yeast.
“Sold!”, shouted Hawksey Bluebottle.
“Wait!”
The loud voice of Shorty rang out. He was balanced on top of the tea-trolley, with Nobby Cracker holding onto Shorty’s legs, to stop him toppling from his perch.
“I will offer twenty cigarettes, two boxes of matches, five bars of fruit and nut chocolate, an old Bible and some rosary beads, blessed especially by the ‘Ginja Ninja’!”
‘Nosey Drippings’ sat down in his seat, deflated. Nobby Cracker helped Shorty down from the trolly and the men watched him walk to the front of the class and claim the set of false teeth, wrapping them carefully in the handkerchief.
‘Nosey Drippings’, still rankled, shouted out... “Why do you want the teeth, Shorty? You have a perfectly good set of teeth in your mouth!”
“See these teeth?”, said Shorty, unwrapping again and holding the teeth up. “Before my old Mum passed away, she had teeth like these and, every night, she used to put them in a glass of water, on the bedside cabinet, by her bed. So I will have these teeth in a glass of water by my bed every night, to remind me of my old Mum.”
It’s a strange thing about these old villains, the mention of words like…’My old Mum’… would quickly produce tears, so that soon, the sound of tears and sobs echoed round the room, along with the clapping of appreciation for Shorty’s emotive effort.
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...88.
|
Sep 7, 2008 12:28 am
Mood: amused,
756 Views
|
These elements of psychological guilt-complexities can bring you moods of sympathy, sorrow and masses of ‘Self-Pity’.
“Why me?”, you ask yourself, when things go wrong. “What have I done to deserve this?”.
The thing is, Saturn will make you face up to your convictions, it raises the dead. If you have evaded punishment for sins, you cannot evade Saturn, it will teach you to face the music and dance. Saturn will teach you to look yourself squarely in the face and make you answer your own questions. You might swim well, dive into a stormy sea of excuses, change shapes, appeal with tears in your eyes….
But Saturn is strict and has seen it all before. There is no escape from the demons of your own conscience.”
“Wow!”, exclaimed Jack, stopping from his work and allowing a curl to escape from the clip.
“It certainly is a mysterious combination and hard to fathom. What do you think, Chuckles?”
I shook my head, not caring to think, my mind on Coddy and Alexo, knowing that wily old fox would be away from Coddy, wondering what he would do, where would he go.
“Think, Jack, darling.”, demanded Jill… “Saturn equals restriction, learning over a time… While Pisces indicates areas of dreams and making sacrifices.”
Jack nodded, though, once again, his understanding was as good as mine, absent!
Jill continued to read…
“There will be times when you can feel this depressed sense of loneliness, when there is no-one around to give you a hand, when you feel, even God has denied you His Love. These are the times when you will have to learn to find ‘Self-Love’ to pray you understand the inner strength you have and use it to lift yourself from those murky and confused depths up into the light of reason.
Let your mind over-rule this imagined fear, this feeling of hopelessness which make you feel you are not fit for anything, that you don’t fit in and whatever you do, does not work.”
Jill put the book down for a moment, her face thoughtful. I waited, knowing Jill seemed to have something to say. Jack was too busy, not happy with the finish to Jill’s hair and deciding to comb it out.
“Do you know, out of all the Zodiac Signs, I find this Pisces to be the hardest to understand. It is hard to distinguish what is good and what is bad, the positive and negative.”, said Jill.
“Like a photo?”, I said, to show that I was listening.
Jill’s face lit up at my words.
“Exactly, Chuckles…You are so clever! One has to see the positive exposure of the picture, so that things become clear!”
Well, I was glad Jill thought me clever, though I still had little understanding of what was being read.
Nodding at my disclosure, Jill picked up the book again and read to the finish.
“When it comes to work… You have to work at facing up to things, not hiding from the competition out there, the daily grind, the ‘Rat Race’, those strange ‘beings’ out there, who don’t understand you, or you them, so you panic in your helplessness, instead of going out to bathe in a light of understanding.
Pisces looks for easy solutions, like diving back into a bed of dreams, or drifting with a slow current, so there is no waking up to reality. Pisces is guilty of not seeing the suffering and, when it does, immediately cries in a helpless way, saying there is nothing can be done, afraid, helpless and alone in its sympathy, so that it continues to cry in self-pity.
The answer is to roll the sleeves up, to get out there, to make sacrifice of time and learn how to give aid to others, not wait for others to help you in your tearful state. Saturn in Pisces is all about self-confidence and the art of helping those who need a helping hand. You will learn to make sacrifices in your life!”
Jack had finished with Jill’s hair and stood back, admiring it from all angles, touching here and there till Jill kissed him on the cheek for his work, then began to check out the names of those in the ‘Birth-Date’ book, checking out the dates with those which corresponded in the Ephemeris.
“How about that!”, exclaimed Jill, laughing outright.
“Guess who is here and how appropriate?”
“Who is it?”, asked Jack.
“Slippery Eel!”, exclaimed Jill, now chuckling away, as Jack and I exchanged glanced, smiling at Jill’s merriment.
“Why is that funny?”, I asked.
“Slippery Eel!... Don’t you see, Chuckles?... No?... Well Pisces is the Sign of the ‘Fish’. Have you ever tried to hold an eel?... A very slippery fish indeed, you would have a hard job holding one, because they slip out from your fingers and make an escape!”
While I still had no idea what Jill was on about, it was decided that ‘Slippery Eel’ was the ‘Chosen One’ for the last story.
|
|
|
5
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...87.
|
Sep 5, 2008 11:37 pm
Mood: amused,
807 Views
|
We talked outside the Storeroom. I had been given a new inmate, to replace ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison, a man known as ‘Slop-Bucket’ Wilson. The name derived from his earlier occupation as the one who cleaned out the toilet buckets on building sites. It was suggested that he still wore the same overalls he had worn over the last twenty years, never removing them, owing to the fact they were stuck to his skin.
So, the first job I delegated to him was the bucket-stirring of Hulk’s greenery.
We stood watching him, he wore swimming goggles, so that his eyes looked like a giant bugs through the lens, plus the clothes-peg over his nose.
He whistled as he mixed the cabbage in with great dollops of ginger, garlic and red peppers. I thought it was over-much with the red peppers and, before I could shout over at him, he had lifted the bucket down onto the floor and peered into it, the steam and high aroma causing him to sneeze loudly, at the same time, the involuntary sneeze caused his mouth to open widely, so that his false teeth, top and bottom set, flew out and straight into the bucket, to sink beneath the flotsam and jetsam.
Without more ado, ‘Slop-Bucket’ Wilson went head-first into the bucket, his hands searching the bottom of the bucket. His head came out, cabbage and red peppers, making a sort of wig, while garlic circles gave him a pair of earrings.
Gasping for air and without consideration, ‘Slop-Bucket’ Wilson promptly stuck both sets of dentures into his mouth and toppled over.
It took ages before the medical orderlies came to remove his body, stiff as a board.
‘Hawksey Bluebottle’, never one to miss an opportunity, had prised open ‘Slop-Bucket’ Wilson’s mouth and removed the false set of teeth, fitting them into his own mouth, testing them on a large carrot.
And, in the meantime, I removed ‘Mousey’ from his beer-making, placing him in charge of Hulk’s cabbage-bucket, till we got a new replacement.
Having allowed things to settle down, Jack, Jill and I went into the storeroom and made ourselves comfortable, Jill and I on the up-turned boxes and Jack, standing, as usual, ready to dress Jill’s hair as Jill began to read out the final instalment of the Saturn book.
“Here we come to the last Saturn… Saturn in Pisces.
Here are the dates…
Between.......... And…….Saturn is in Pisces.
Feb15th....1935....Apr24th.....1937.....PISCES.
Oct18th....1937....Jan14th......1938.....PISCES.
Dec16th...1964....Mar3rd.....1967......PISCES.
May21st...1993....Jun29th......1993.....PISCES.
Jan28th.....1994....Apr6th......1996......PISCES.
Saturn can be a hard ‘Task-Master’, its aim is to teach one lessons in the life and to keep a tight reign on aspirations. Wherever it sits, it will hold back the urge to speed ahead; so, when Saturn sits in Pisces, it can hold back the spontaneity of expressing the feelings of sacrifice.”
“Explain, Jill, please.”, I asked and Jill clucked a loud tongue.
“Dear Chuckles… If you let me read it, then you can make your own mind up about what it all means.”
“Yes, Chuckles, be a good boy for Jill.”, said Jack, laughing as he mimicked Jill’s voice.
Jill turned and smacked Jack with the book, hitting his thigh.
“Don’t take the ‘Micky’, Jack…And you, Chuckles, don’t laugh, it only encourages him!”
I could tell that Jack was contrite, his face sadly serious. So I copied the look and confessed my sadness with a mumbled apology. This seemed to satisfy Jill, who returned to the reading.
“Should you have Saturn in Pisces, then you would have a whole confused watery underworld of feelings to contend with, swirling currents which crash waves upon a rocky shore of hopelessness.
This is all about making sacrifices and dealing with guilt complexities, of suffering and not sure why.
You are a mess of sensitive visions and your imagination can paint you pictures which frighten the life out of you. Your emotions are such that you do things which are bad, then pray you are forgiven, then forget the actions till, in a quiet moment, the visions rise again to haunt you.”
“Sorry to interrupt again, Jill…But that sounds like a prayer book to me”, said Jack.
“Darling Jack… Pisces is highly spiritual and gives some strange feelings, although one has to understand what is true and what is not. It’s like telling a lie and then starting to believe it.”
“Ah… I’ve sort of done that myself.”, I broke into the conversation. And we all agreed, we had done similar things in the past.
“But the complex of guilt is also another part of the Pisces act. Look, here’s a picture… A friend knocks on your door, cold, tired and hungry. You invite the friend in, offer a warm fire and a bed, then find you have only enough food for one. You put your friend to bed and, while the friend sleeps, you eat the meal. When the friend wakes, you wring your hands, saying you cannot feed him because you have no food.
The friend leaves and you watch him go, feeling guilty that you should have a full belly, and promising yourself to put some money in the Church ‘Poor Box’ on Sunday. That is Saturn in Pisces, a Saturn will not let you swim away from your guilt!
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES... 86.
|
Sep 5, 2008 12:20 am
Mood: amused,
831 Views
|
“Hallo Wichard.”, she said, looking remarkably sprightly and bright-eyed, for someone who had lost her beloved Alexo.
“Hallo Coddy, how are you?”
“I’m so happy, Wichard, now I have my Alexo back and he loves me.”
“Alexo?... Back?”
Coddy broke into a happy grunting sound and nodded. I found myself matching her head-nodding and mentally forced myself to keep my head still.
“How did you get Alexo back?”
“Daddy’s fwiends found out where Alexo was taken. He was in a hospital, so Daddy’s fwiends broke in and wescued him for me. They had to tie him up and bwing him to a new house, so I moved in with him and Daddy’s fwiends are there to make sure Alexo is happy.
He lives in a cupboard under the stairs and I look after him evewy night... He is my lover.”
I smiled, I could just imagine her nightly horror visits… The cupboard must seem like the ‘Little Shop Of Horrors’, to Alexo.
“Yes, Coddy, Alexo needs so much loving and he is so happy to be back with you.”
“Oh, I do give my Alexo a lot of love, Wichard, evewy night, I give him lots of love!”, Coddy explained, her eyes shining at the very thought.
“And where is Mummy?”, I asked.
Coddy’s eyes became clouded, sad.
“I think Mummy has gone to heaven, Wichard.”
“Heaven?”
I sat up straight, startled, the suddenness of Coddy’s statement was something of a shock.
“How do you know Mummy has gone to heaven?”, I asked, shock being overtaken by intrigue.
“Mummy fell in love with ‘Big-Boy’.”
“Big-Boy?”, I asked.
Getting information from Coddy was like trying to run pasta through one of those old-fashioned mangles, the pasta simply stuck to the wooden rollers of her brain.
“Big-Boy?”, I asked again… “Who is ‘Big-Boy’?”
“Big-Boy was her new fwiend she met in this room, the last time.”
The information was sifted, sorted and reasoned out that ‘Big-Boy was, in fact, none other than ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison!
“So what happened?”.
Coddy raised eyes to heaven, while her tongue poked out the right-hand side of her cheek as she sought through her memory-box.
“That time, when Mummy loved ‘Big-Boy’ under the table... Well... The next day, Mummy got lots of wed spots, all over and they took her away. When Mummy came back fwom the hospital, she was all wapped up in crackly plastics.”
In translation... Mummy-ape caught the disease from ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison and the doctor had to wrap her in plastic, after smearing her with oil and antiseptic.
“What happened to Mummy then?”, I asked, prompting her.
“Well… Mummy was allowed to meet ‘Big-Boy’, in a special woom for sickness, away fwom the pwison.”
I think Coddy meant that Mummy-ape and ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison had been allowed a conjugal visit, meeting in an isolation room away from the prison wing.
“And what happened?”, I prompted.
“Well, Mummy pulled ‘Big-Boy’ onto the table and they was making big love, wipping off their clothes and making mad noises.”
“Where you there, in the room?”, I asked.
“No. I was waiting outside, but the pwiest was there, pwaying for them.”
“And they made love on the table, Coddy?”
“Yes! And they was pulling and wipping at the clothes, till all the plastic went ’Pop’! And all the oils was melted and wunny, all over the floor.”
I was trying so hard not to laugh at the idea of Mummy-ape and ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison ripping into each other, till Mummy’s plastic went ‘Pop!’, the heat of their passion melting the creams and antiseptics, so that it all splashed out.
“So?...What happened then?”, I asked.
“Mummy let of some wind and the Pwiest wushed to the door, to let the smell out but, as he opened the door, he slipped in the goo and banged his head.
Mummy passed a lot more ‘Windy-Pops’ and ‘Big-Boy’s’ plastic blew up, so they flew off the table and slid in the mess on the floor, right out the open door.”
By now, I was holding myself in, my imagination running wild. Tears were streaming down my face, but not from crying.
“And where did Mummy and ‘Big-Boy’ go?” I asked, through gulps of choking laughter.
Coddy’s eyes opened wide as she looked at me.
“They went up to heaven.”, she said
Apparently, Mummy and ‘Big-Boy’ had not been seen since, the Priest telling Coddy they had gone to meet their Maker!
“I suppose you wont be needing this?”, I said, holding up the scribble from the last story, surmising that Alexo, in dire straits under the stairs, would not be writing the book any more. But I was surprised when Coddy took the written notes and put them in the sack she carried.
“Thank you, Wichard.”, she said, her eyes narrowing to stare round.
She noticed Nobby Craker had made his rounds in the Visiting Room and was leaving with his tea-trolley. She waited till the door had closed behind him, then leaned over the table at me.
“Me and Alexo are in love.”, she whispered.
“He told me so and he said if I creep down the stairs tonight, when Daddy’s fwiends are asleep and let him out of the cupboard. We would take all the monies for the ‘Wedding Fund’ and Daddy’s money. Then we are going to wun away to Pawadise. My darling Alexo is going to wite his book and we will be wich and live happily ever after.”
In a funny way, I began to feel sorry for her. To think she actually believed what Alexo had said but, then, I have this inane streak of curiosity which makes me want to say nothing about Alexo’s plan, to see how far he gets.
“That’s really beautiful, Coddy.”, I said.
“I have to go now, Wichard. Alexo made me pwomise not to tell you, so you wont tell him I told you, will you.”
I promised her faithfully, my lips were sealed.
“Do you think Alexo will take Coddy away?”, asked Jill, the next morning.
“What do you think?”, chuckled Jack, touching Jill’s head.
“I think, Jill, Coddy will do what Alexo asks and that will be the last anyone will see of Alexo. With all that money, he will run away, go abroad!”, I concluded.
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...85.
|
Sep 3, 2008 11:46 pm
Mood: amused,
897 Views
|
“Well… Me and this Sheila is going really well, like two sheep in a small shed. She gets an invite to this party and drags me along. I’m into the grub and beer, doing me Aussi bit, like old Crocodile Dundee and loving it.
So, here I am, having a whale of a time… I got more friends than a dog’s got fleas and me Sheila brings this Mate across to meet me.
This blighter is the same mate, the one who had that pawn-ticket. So we get to talking and he’s telling me how he’s down on his luck and that he’s got another pawn-ticket he wants to sell.
Well, I tell you, Mates… I’m up its backside, like a digger with sheep and ‘Wellie-Boots’!
I tell this blighter that I got enough money saved from me busking, to get me a ticket back to the old kangaroo farm but I’m ready to buy the ticket from him, if me Sheila can sell the gear.
Well, me Sheila is certain she can sell the gear, straight off, just between me and her.
So I buys the pawn ticket and the next day, I goes with me Sheila to the pawn shop and uses the rest of me dough to redeem the rings, which turn out to be a real couple of ‘Sparklies’.
Now, me Sheila don’t come in the shop with me. She stands outside and waits till I gets the rings. I takes them out and gives the Sheila the ‘Sparklies’, to take and sell for us.
What I don’t know is that this mate of hers, this blighter is sitting and waiting in a car. Me Sheila runs to the car and jumps in, doing a ‘Skippy’, hopping it with me rings and the ‘Wonga’, down the road with that ‘Wallaby Mongrel’!
So now I stands there, feeling like an Emu who kicks in the door of a ‘Dunny’ and falls into the bucket of crap!
Anyways, I goes to walk away, let down by me mates, and deciding not to expect anything good from me future. But as I goes to leave, this band of happy cops pull up in a blue buggy and nabs yours truly.
It seems them ‘Sparklies’ was stolen and the manager of the pawn-shop was told to let the cops know if anyone tries to pawn the stuff.”
“You mug!”, shouts Hulk, which sets the room off into gales of laughter.
Someone rolled paper into a ball and threw it, so that the room was a mess of paper balls and insults.
“Well, Mates.”, shouted Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’. “It taught me not to put me trust in any flaming future prospects, because nothing happens as you want it to.”
For all his long and mournful face, Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ didn’t mind his leg being pulled and joined in with the laughter, having his new-found mates slapping him on his back.
The next morning, I was not a ‘Happy-Chappie’, in that ‘Diseased Boy’ Morrison had disappeared, not sight nor sound of him, he had simply vanished from this earth and I was left to stir the bucket of greens for Hulk’s dinner.
I did not even find it funny that we all wore pegs on our noses. This was because Hulk had been down to the kitchen, informing me of my bucket-stirring duty and had left a back-roaring trademark which stunk the whole kitchen out.
It was only the ingenuity of ‘Gold-bar’ Roberts, who had somehow managed to get hold of a few dozen clothes-pegs, which he had sold at the last ‘Bazaar’, that we now worked with red plastic ‘Pinocchio’ noses, gasping for air through gaping mouths, till the green fog lifted.
And it was while I stirred the bucket of greens, garlic and red chilli peppers, that I began to think about exactly what would happen when the stories had run their course. I mean, there was only Saturn in Pisces left. Once that was over, what would happen to the money-spinning efforts, the lottery and ‘Bingo’, the ‘Bazaar’ and other things which kept Hulk happy.
Then there was his daughter to consider, Coddy and the fact that Alexo had escaped.
Hulk had said nothing to me on the matter of his daughter’s happiness, or about Alexo. Jill had scribbled down the Jimmy ‘Long-Boats’ story, but what would happen if Coddy did not visit me, or want the story, seeing as Alexo was not there.
Such thoughts stirred my mind as my hands stirred the bucket of greens. The rest of the boys had removed their clothes-pegs, as the smell drifted out through the window.
I kept my peg on, the smell of the mixture in the bucket seeming to act in volcanic spurts of volatile and putrid energy.
And these thoughts continued to play on my mind until, two days later, I received a visit from Coddy.
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...84.
|
Sep 2, 2008 11:20 pm
Mood: amused,
902 Views
|
As always, we sat in silence, each into our own mind, pondering what had been read. Well, to be honest, I could not care less about Saturn in Aquarius, it was all a useless waste of time. And I knew, from Jack’s vacant stare, he, like me, lived within a simple mind, accepting without registering.
I smiled at that thought, seeing him put the last bow on Jill’s hair.
Jill, on the other hand, was re-reading what had been read, enlivening the mind to its meaning.
Then, with a sigh, Jill put the book on the table and picked up the ‘Birth-Date’ book and the Ephemeris, studying them, till, looking up, said…
“I think ‘Jimmy Long-Boat’ is ideal for this tale. There are seven inmates with Saturn in Aquarius, but ‘Jimmy Long-Boat’ has such a mournful look that he will have half of the men crying before he starts to tell his story.”
“Wonder where he got that name from?”, queried Jack.
“It’s old Cockney rhyming slang.”, I said.
“You know…’Boat-Race’, it means ‘Face’.” I explained further, seeing Jack’s face still bemused. I explained even further…
“Jimmy has a mournful expression, a long face, therefore he’s called ‘Jimmy Long-Boat’.”
Jill giggled and pushed Jack with a playful hand.
“He knows exactly what you mean, Chuckles. He’s just teasing you and making you explain it all.”
“Well, don’t ask again, Jack.”, I admonished.
Jack and Jill went into a fit of giggles and I left them as they made their way to their own cell, while I sorted out Nobby Cracker, telling him that Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ was the next on the list.
“Me?”, said Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’, when his name was drawn from the bucket.
“Strewth, I aint flaming lucky enough to win anything.”
It took some time to convince him that he had been the ‘Chosen One’ and was expected to be in the Art Classroom the next evening.
“I’ll believe it when it happens.”, said Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’, his long face one of doubt, which made his face seem even longer.
But Jimmy The Pin, under Hulk’s directions, made sure Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ made an appearance, once the Bingo and Bazaar had finished.
And it was with a mournful face that Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ stood in front of the crowded classroom.
“G’Day, Mates.”, he said, continuing...
"Now, as them who aint met me, me names Jimmy and I’m from Goolengong and that, for them as don’t know it, is a place in Oz.”
“What the bleedin’ hell, language is that?”, shouted Shorty.
Others began to whistle ‘Waltzing Matilda’, others shouting ‘Ozzie, Ozzie, Ozzie…Oi, Oi, Oi!’
“He’s Australian.” Said Jill to Shorty, above the racket.
Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ waited till the noise died down.
“Well, Mates.”, he said… “I comes to this little place to see where me ancestors got transported from. I got to tell you boys, me ancestors was Poms from way back.
Anyways… I aint got much dough and so I’m doing me ‘Rolphie Harris’ bit, busking outside this train- station with me didgeridoo. I’m doing a right old treat, earning a fair bit of moolah, when up comes this Sheila and I does fancy putting me little old joey in the Sheila’s pouch. So we gets it going, real fair dinkum… You got me, mates?”
Most of us have not got a clue what this man is on about.
“What planet does he come from?”, shouted ‘Terry-No-Teeth.
But Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’ continues to roll along with his story, totally unaware of the demands for a translator.
“Now, Mates… This Sheila is one sexy kangaroo and I am as drunk in love, as any sheep-shearer drunk on the old Amber Nectar and sheep-dip!
So, she comes across with this digger she knows, she’s got a mate who has a gold rings to sell.
Well, the blighter aint got the actual ring but what he’s got is a pawn ticket for the ring.
The Sheila tells me to buy the ticket cheap from her mate and then redeem it from the pawn-shop. She then tells me, she can sell the ring for a lot more money, so I makes a packet.
Well, I aint some old Bruce from the Outback, I tell you, Mates... I’m in and buys the pawn ticket cheap, get’s the ring out of hock and the Sheila does the business.
Where’s the blinking tea? I’m as dry as a dingo’s backside with sand up it!”
Nobby Cracker removed Shorty from the top of the tea trolley and poured out some tea in a mug. Giving it to Jimmy ‘Long-Boat’, he returned and lifted Shorty back onto the trolly.
“Now, that’s done me tonsils a dance.”, said Jimmy ‘Long-Boat, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, then, putting the mug on the desk, he continued his story.
|
|
|
7
Comments
|
|
|
SATURN INMATES...83.
|
Sep 1, 2008 10:56 pm
Mood: amused,
925 Views
|
“There is no liking, through fear of the unknown, to run ahead without cautious planning, no zany moves which bring the word ‘Eccentricity’ to the mind.
Again; the Aquarian nature is to have friends and to instigate new ideas but, with Saturn restraining, the nature, is to have few friends and to dismiss the ideas and ideals which encourage future generations to generate new ideas. It delays and holds back the inventive spirit.”
“So, if I had Saturn in Aquarius, I wouldn’t hold out much hope for the future.”, said Jack.
“In a way.”, replied Jill… “But it’s in a personal way, you would not place too much credit on your own future, because things always go wrong.”
Jack nodded and smiled. I felt sure that Jack said things to tease Jill, make her explain things, as if he were a child. I think men do that in a sort of ‘Attention-Seeking’ way.
“What is noticed.”, continued Jill. “Is the native with this combination will not be so bold or wish to stand out from the crowd, and will hide him or herself within the crowd so that there is no sense of originality or singularity; one would wish to simply fade into ‘Humanity’s’ background.
The thing here is that there can be a stale-mate, the action is frozen solid, so it might seem the native is lost in a ‘Time-Warp’, afraid to trust or test out new-fangled gadgets, especially anything which has an electrical nature.
It is noted too, those with Saturn placed in Aquarius, tend to have a lower electrical impulse which is a natural bodily function.”
“So what does that mean, I mean…That does not make sense. Does it make sense to you, Jack?”
“Making love to my baby, is the only thing which makes sense to me.”, answered Jack, winking at me.
“Oh, Jack, darling…How sweet.”, sighed Jill.
Personally, I thought Jack had neatly sidestepped my question, about not understanding what Jill had read. Sneaky sod, I thought and laughed.
“ What I think it means.”, said Jill, looking at me in teaching mode… “Is that we all have electronic impulses which create ideas, sudden impulses which shock the brain into sudden brainwaves…”
Jill’s voice petered out, losing the thread of what was being said, then, impatiently… “It’s no good explaining it, let’s just get on with the reading, otherwise it will be time to go back to our cells, for lock-up”
I said nothing and Jill continued to read.
“One is not into forms of commitment or duty with this combination, there is a great need to be free from the control of authority. One can seem rather detached and distant, yet, at the same time, one needs to be in company, to be drawn in so the disappearing act is complete.
In this way, the aims and aspirations are difficult to draw up in definition, because the native is unsure of what and where the future lies. Yet there can be no telling, simply because this Saturn in Aquarius does not like to be directed, so that the life can simply be an aimless wander, moving from group to group, from friends to friends, needing to know but unwilling to test out new theories.
There can often be a form of absentmindedness in all this, as the mind seems distracted and lost in frustrated reasoning. Saturn grounds the mentality so that it remains in the present, yet longs to see a clear path ahead, so this constant battle loses the strong sense of purpose to complete a promised consignment
It’s not that one is ‘Clueless’, more that one is ‘Goalless’, unsure of any future ‘Hopes and Wishes’, unsure of ‘Aspirations’. One needs to be out of the ‘In-Crowd’ and in with friends of the ‘Future’, but who are these friends?
Another problem, is who to trust and what will not cause reversals of any plans. It can seem that there are always sudden shocks and bolts from the blue when one pushes forwards, so Saturn in Aquarius has learned to be cautious, to defend itself from sudden shocks by never walking under the ‘Future-Trees’ when lightning Strikes!”
|
|
|
6
Comments
|
|
To link to this blog (TheFinder) use [blog TheFinder] in your messages.
|
|
|
| Sun |
Mon |
Tue |
Wed |
Thu |
Fri |
Sat |
| |
12
|
21
|
31
|
4
|
52
|
6
|
|
72
|
81
|
91
|
10
|
111
|
12
|
13
|
14
|
15
|
16
|
17
|
18
|
19
|
20
|
21
|
22
|
23
|
24
|
25
|
26
|
27
|
28
|
29
|
30
|
|
|
|
|
|
