Blog etiquette
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Mar 12, 2008 8:04 pm
Mood: sad,
3924 Views
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When my children were small they bickered and argued a good bit of the time. I knew it was normal for them to do this but there were times when I thought it was inappropriate....the dinner table, for example.
So, if they argued at mealtime, I asked them to go to another room and sit, facing each other until they could talk to each other in a manner that was not disrespectful. Then, they were allowed to come back to the table. It didn't take them long to learn to postpone their arguments until after their tummies were full.
Last night, I posted something that I thought was beautiful. Something I hoped would bring comfort, peace, encouragement, hope. I was inspired to do so by the people who, just yesterday, had written about the death or illness of someone they cared about.
I, too, have suffered a great deal of loss during the last year...my precious niece, who had a brain injury at 13 months of age, had lived every day since then like a newborn baby...needing constant care. She died last March at 26 years old. My brother asked me to give the eulogy at her funeral. My childhood friend, Patricia, died last July after losing a 3 year battle against inflammatory breast cancer. We had maintained our friendship through the years, even though we lived hundreds of miles apart. We even spent a week at the beach together each summer with 4 other high school friends. Then there's Larry, who had been my friend, my "I'll fix it for ya sweetie" guy, my dinner partner when I just couldn't stand to eat one more meal alone. He was 6' 6" and weighed over 350 lbs. and made me feel petite and cute when we were together. He was a former professional athlete who was supposed to live to be a very old man, but he had a fatal heart attack last August.
So, last night, when I read about the losses of so many other people, I hurt for them....and for me. That is why I posted "Imagine".
When I logged on this afternoon, I read the responses on this blog and was shocked and hurt to read comments between two people...comments which had nothing to do with the blog. Why they chose to do this on my blog, I'll never understand. I've deleted all the comments but couldn't pass up this opportunity to say something about what happened.
Their disagreement has nothing to do with me and I don't even care why they don't like each other. What I do care about is that they chose to take something that I meant for good and made it ugly, dirty and negative. It was as if they walked into a room where people were having a quiet, intimate conversation and started yelling at each other.
One of these people has apologized to me and I appreciate it very much.
Just so there is no misunderstanding, please let me be perfectly clear. When I write a blog, it is meant for anyone who cares to read it and comment on it. However, I find it very rude and disrespectful for someone to use it as a personal battleground.
If you want to slam someone, do it in your own blog, or better yet, in private email.
I, for one, want peace and joy and love and tenderness and caring and kindness. If I want hatred, all I have to do is turn on the television or pick up a newspaper.
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26
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Imagine....
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Mar 11, 2008 8:09 pm
Mood: thankful,
3705 Views
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There seem to have been more posts about illness, death and suffering among our members this week than at any time since I joined. I realize that there are many people who are suffering who don't choose to share that with us. This is for all of those, who tonight, need encouragement, reassurance and peace.
Imagine...by Michael Podesta
Imagine stepping onto a shore and finding it heaven.
Imagine taking hold of a hand and finding its God's hand.
Imagine breathing new air and finding its celestial air.
Imagine feeling invigorated and finding it immortality.
Imagine passing from storm & tempest to an unknown calm.
Imagine waking and finding it home.
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15
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My new SFF family
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Mar 9, 2008 5:50 pm
Mood: hungry,
3859 Views
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When I was a young girl my family started spending the summer at the river in a huge house that our grandparents lived in when they were raising their family. My Mother, brothers and sister and I were there every day, of course. Daddy had to work, but joined us on the weekends. Other family members would pop in for a couple of days or a week at a time. Some were there for the entire summer. My grandmother, aunts, uncles and cousins... and a few friends were in and out over the course of the month. People were constantly coming and going...doing whatever they needed to do that day.
Being here at SFF is like being in that house. We aren't together all the time but we sort of pass each other from time to time. Sometimes it's as if I see some of you in various parts of the house....
There's Elvis walking down the hall "Hey Rick, where are you going?". Can you pick up something for me at the hardware store? I'll sew those sequins on your Elvis jacket for you this afternoon so you can wear it to the concert tonight. I know, I know, I've been saying I would do it all week but I promise I'll get it done before you need to leave."
Ola has just prepared a Weight Watcher's lunch for us. We're going to sit on the porch, overlooking the river and watch the boats dock at the marina. "Hey girl, want me to slice a few tomatoes? I'll make some iced tea, too. It'll only take a few minutes."
Rose is out in the Rose Garden, cutting flowers for the dinner table. She was just telling me about her date with NASCAR. He must be a really nice man. She says he's a real gentleman. Hummmm. I wonder if he has a brother. I'll ask her at dinner. "Rose, do you have any of those beautiful apricot colored roses? They have the most divine fragrance."
AneMac,Shirley (her dog) and I went for a nice long walk by the river last night. It was cool and there was a nice breeze. It's so nice to have a friend who knows how to relax. I might ask her if she'll give me a few golf pointers. I've always wanted to learn but didn't have the time. Now, I have time but don't know if my body can take it. Lewlewnn wants to learn, too. Maybe we should take lessons together.
You know, this house has lots of age on it and lots of stories to tell. The cabinets are needing a face lift so I'm going out to the shop to ask DanDee if he thinks they're worth fixing. He may think we need to replace everything. Yikes. "Hey Dan, you are going to give me a special price, aren't you?" Well, if not, I'll bet Dallas49 will do it. She can do anything! "Dallas, do you have some of the tile leftover from doing that bathroom? I want to try my hand at painting on tiles."
Oh, there's Hap2day. He's just come in the back door with a box of things he bought at the flea market. "Now Hap, where on Earth are we going to put all that stuff?" He goes to flea markets all the time. Sometimes he comes home with a real treasure.
I'm so glad TheFinder came over from London to be with us. He's always telling us stories about Cat. Did you hear that he has an illustrator lined up for the book? I can't wait to see the book when it's published. We'll certainly have to add it to our little library in the den. "Ron, what would I have to do to get you to mention me in one of your books?"
"Where's FreshEmerald? I haven't seen her all day. Oh? She's meeting with her editor? I hope she's going to publish that book of 'Letters to Antoine'. I can't wait to read it." We have several amazing writers in our little family. I'm so impressed by all these talented people.
FINALLY! Here come GreatSmile4U and Lodgemanager. They said they were going out for a couple of hours to catch some fish for dinner. Here it is 5 o'clock and they've been out all day. "What have you two been doing? Now you'll have to wait to get in the kitchen, Penpalonly is making that carrot cake for us and she'll be done in about 15 minutes. GARY! You have lipstick all over your face!"
You know, I love seeing everybody but I'm really tired. I'm going to go out on the big front screened porch and take a nap in the hammock before dinner. I just love hearing the boats on the water and the giggles of the little children out there swimming.
It will soon be time to sleep. Maybe we can take a long, slow boat ride after dinner. I think I'll ask Heartfelt to bring his guitar and sing for us. Won't that be nice?
Hey....whose Oldsmobile is that out back? Damn, Ackman is at it again. Who is that hussy in the back seat with him? I swear, that guy never quits.
Well, that's a day in the life of our little family. There are so many more stories but I still have many people to meet and I can't wait to get to know them.
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27
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Bucket List
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Feb 25, 2008 6:24 pm
Mood: calm,
3640 Views
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I went to see the movie "Bucket List" last month and it motivated me to revise my list of things to do before I die.
Among the things on my list are 1. smoke pot with a trusted friend,(I never broke the rules when I was growing up) 2. see the Grand Canyon, 3. Rent a huge beach cottage for 1 month and invite my entire family and closest friends to join me for any amount of time that they can (I love large gatherings of family)
4. Give a sacrificial, anonymous gift to a stranger 5. Give my phone number to a man I'm attracted to.(I grew up in a very conservative family....girls Nevah made the first move). There are 8 more items on my life....you get the idea.
I've decided I need to learn something new....a new skill or a new art or....oh, I don't know.
I want it to be "outside the box" for me. I thought about welding but I understand the torches are hard to handle....too heavy for a weak, wimpy woman. It can't be learning a new language or anything like that. I need to do something that will produce tangible results.
I welcome and will consider any suggestions.
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30
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I just LOVE this place!!!
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Feb 23, 2008 10:27 pm
Mood: grateful,
3159 Views
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I'm so thankful to have discovered SFF. I look forward to logging on several times each day. Every single day, one of you writes a story that makes me laugh. Sometimes, I'm moved to tears by the tenderness of your words. Often one of your stories sparks a memory that can end up as a blog that I'm inspired to write.
When Dallas writes about her latest home renovation project or her son's coming home, I feel as if she's part of my family....talking about my nephew. Perhaps I put myself into her story in that way. I don't know.
When Stillwater paints a word picture of his frozen surroundings, I shiver from the cold, but I'm always delighted by his words.
Today, when Robrenee responded to me, she wrote "shoot, girl.....". I felt my sister had spoken to me. I wanted to say, "I'm going to swing by and pick you up and take you to lunch....be ready in 15 minutes".
Elvis moves me to tears when he writes about the love he has for his wife and I can almost feel the void that is left by her absence. He makes me want to put my arms around him and hold him and cry with him....just as I did with my brother when he suffered a great loss recently.
When I hear about a gathering, luncheon, bash or some other get together that has taken place, I feel as if it's a family reunion that I've missed. So, I'm going to go to the Nashville bash and maybe to the NC bash in July. I want to meet my new family!
Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this very special group....for making me feel so welcome. I hope to meet many of you in the months ahead.
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16
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The best carrot cake recipe.....as requested
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Feb 20, 2008 3:51 pm
Mood: sweet,
1865 Views
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I am posting this recipe at the request of a fellow SFF member. It is the most delicious I've ever tasted...by far.
Sassy's Carrot Cake
2 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 cups salad oil
4 eggs, well beaten
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 cups all purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup chopped pecans
3 cups coarsely grated carrots (grate by hand with grater)
Mix sugar and oil. Add eggs and mix well.
Combine dry ingredients and stir in.
Mix well and add nuts and carrots. Gently mix until all ingredients are incorporated.
Bake in 3 greased 9-inch layer pans at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes.
Allow layers to cool and remove from pans. While still warm (not hot) wrap cake layers in waxed paper or parchment paper. Then wrap in foil and place in air tight container...I prefer a gallon size zip lock bag for each layer. Freeze or refrigerate layers for at least 24 hours.
When ready to frost cake, remove from freezer and thaw for several hours. Unwrap and frost cake, using a generous amount of frosting between layers. Then frost sides and top. You can garnish cake with carrot curls or, if in season, pansies.
Frosting
1 box powdered sugar
1 (8 oz.) package cream cheese
1/2 stick butter...softened
1 - 2 teaspoon lemon extract
Mix well and use to frost carrot cake.
Sometimes I make 1 1/2 recipes of the frosting if I'm feeling especially sinful.
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13
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I just can't get enough....
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Feb 20, 2008 8:23 am
Mood: satisfied,
2214 Views
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I was just watching a segment of the Today Show where a chocolate chip cookie recipe was given a few extra ingredients. The tasters were oohing and ahhing and they looked yummy.
My gastric juices started bubbling and I started thinking about how much I like cookies. I'm not a lover of sweets, don't order dessert in restaurants and rarely bake cakes, pies or cookies. However, I like good cookies, especially oatmeal/raisin and chocolate chip with nuts.
There's only one problem with cookies. I can't just eat one or two. That's the reason I NEVER have them in my home. I bake cookies with my granddaughter and we give them to elderly neighbors. If there are any leftovers, I send them home with her.
I have a slight obsession where certain foods are concerned. Put a little sugar in my body and I lose control and want to eat every sweet thing in sight.
Last year, when I was dating the man I thought was 'Mr. Wonderful', I had a small dinner party and pulled out all the stops. He loves carrot cake and I have the world's best carrot cake recipe (I'll gladly share it). So, being the darling, southern belle that I hope to someday become, I made a carrot cake for my sweetie...even used organic carrots. All the men ate 2 large slices of cake but after everyone had gone, I still had half of a huge cake to deal with. I KNEW I had to dispose of it but before I did, I had to eat a 'small' slice. Then, I had to eat a 'small' slice for breakfast the next morning. My intention was to take it to my neighbor but 2 days later..."I can't believe I ate the whole thing".
Well, that threw me into a tailspin. For the next few weeks, I couldn't get enough sugar. Then, the next month, my step father celebrated his 90th birthday and I made him his favorite....a carrot cake. Lucky for me, I was able to leave the leftovers so that he and mother could indulge. I'm still trying to lose the 5 pounds I gained over those few months....plus the 20 others that I want to get off.
I guess sugar is my addiction. It's all or nothing with me. I don't have that problem with broccoli. And, why the heck couldn't I be addicted to sex. I probably would have found a man by now AND more than likely, I'd be skinny as a rail.
Life's just not fair.
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15
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Needs, wants , risk and walls
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Feb 2, 2008 8:57 am
Mood: contemplative,
1759 Views
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I've been under the weather all week...a cold, sore throat, general yucky feeling. Oh, I've been able to take care of myself and prepare things to eat but I can't stand being alone for extended periods of time and 5 days is TOO LONG. Being at home, I've noticed several things that need to be done...outdoor flood lights have burned out, the furnace filters need to be replaced, the fish pond out back needs to be cleaned. These are things I usually do myself but I don't want to do it anymore. I want somebody else to do it.  I was thinking that these are things a husband would do for me, if I had one....a good one.
While I am a happy person, content with things as they are most of the time, I can't honestly say that I don't want a man in my life. The difference is, I don't need one to pay my bills, take out the garbage, take care of my general needs. BUT, I want one with whom I can truly share my life....build a history....look back at memories....share hopes and dreams, laughter and tears. I even want one to change light bulbs and furnace filters and clean out the fish pond, too.
In my opinion, human nature demands that we share our hearts with someone we love. Sure, I love being with my family and friends but there are some things that need to be shared with someone who understands us at a deeper level....a spiritual level. Some people call this person a "soul mate". While I'm not sure what that means, I agree with the general concept.
I have many single friends, women who vow never to remarry....we raise our flags of independence and sing our "I don't need men" anthem and promise that we won't let our friends cave in to the pressure of lust and the fantasy of living "happily ever after". Well, I'm here to tell ya that it's a fib, a story, a BIG FAT LIE!!! I can't speak for my friends, but I know that most of them are hiding from the same fears that I have hidden from.
When you've been betrayed by the person you should be able to trust more than anyone else in the world, it makes you tend to put up walls. These walls keep your heart safe. They have "Nobody's getting in here to hurt me again" painted on them in big bold letters. It makes trusting very, very difficult.
I know from experience that with time, we can learn to trust again...if we can find someone worthy of our trust. Therein lies the rub. In order to do that, you have to take a chance and risk being hurt again.
Personally, I think it's worth the risk. If you find that person you dream about, it makes the past pale....almost nonexistent. If you don't take a chance, you can't possibly know what the glorious future can be.
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7
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Childhood Memories...
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Feb 1, 2008 9:14 am
Mood: nostalgic,
1747 Views
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Asian Companion's recent post/poll, "Butter or Margerine" triggered a favorite memory of mine.
When I was a little girl, I often spent Friday and Saturday nights at my grandmother's house. I didn't realize until much later the things I learned while I was under her influence. Sometimes I didn't want to go because she always made me work....weeding the garden, stripping paint off of old furniture, helping her rip up old wool blankets that she used to make braided rugs.
Sometimes, very early in the morning, she would make me go to the farm with her to pick up the milk. The farm hands would call to tell her that they had just milked the cow. When we arrived, someone would hand me the "milk stand" (a large metal, lidded can). Through the thin metal I could feel that the milk was still warm from the cow. We took it home, chilled it and separated the cream from the milk. The milk was poured into pitchers and placed in the refrigerator. The cream went into a quart jar which I would shake and shake and shake until it gradually turned into butter. (You can do this with whipping cream). Then my grandmother took the butter out of the jar, salted it, shaped it and wrapped it in waxed paper.
While all this shaking was going on Lucy,the cook, would prepare a wonderful Southern breakfast of bacon, ham or sausage which was made/prepared in the building in the back yard after a "hog killin'" in the winter. There were eggs (from her hen house) Grits (from a nearby mill), homemade whole wheat rolls and homemade fruit preserves. Can you imagine the taste of the fresh, still soft butter on a fresh hot roll? It was heavenly!
Do you have a favorite childhood memory?
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12
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What do you want on your tombstone?
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Jan 22, 2008 2:52 am
Mood: playful,
1282 Views
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A friend of mine said that this is what he wants on his tombstone:
"I told you I was sick!"
Personally, I haven't thought much about it but I would like to have something besides "Loving Mother and Grandmother". I'm known for my sarcastic wit and I'm always "cracking myself up", so I'd like to think of something that would make people smile or even laugh.
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16
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To link to this blog (SassySouthernGal) use [blog SassySouthernGal] in your messages.
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