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Challenge Mar 9, 2006 7:26 am
Mood: adventurous, 576 Views
I've been thinking about how we could impact our World and our individual lives in a way that would go down in the history books.

I was reading about the fact that Christianity and the Islamic faiths are based in Judiasm. Since the three are so stongly entertwined at this time, what would happen if for one week, we all decided to live by the Ten Commandments. Starting with President Bush and trickling down to each of us.

Most of us are not breaking the whole Ten each day. But we all slip up here and there on at least one each day.

Imagine how the whole world would change. Just because we chose to change our attitude and behavior, dedicated to living the Big Ten for just one week.

For starters, it would create total chaos. Think about it, if you have the time. Love, Pollyanna
7 Comments
Got nothin' to say Mar 8, 2006 6:51 am
Mood: calm, 563 Views
Just hello and hope you all have a wonderful day. Love, Pollyanna
5 Comments
Under the influence.. Mar 7, 2006 6:13 am
Mood: amused, 575 Views
Yesterday was a bizaar day for me. I found out it was a bizaar day for a number of people. I guess our stars were all lined up wrong.

It was the kind of day where you want to kill something. Anything!! Everything went down the tubes for my son. He'd planned to work and they weren't ready for him yet. I'd gotten myself psyched to be alone. So when he walked through the door, I didn't like it. He clearly did not like what had happened in his situation either.

It was a terrible day. The mood here had four flat tires. Both of us needed to be rescued, and neither of us could help each other. Ever been there?

Then I came to SFF to read my evening posts from all of you during the day.

As I read, there were a great many of us who were "spattin' more than chattin'". I got tickled. Many of you were free of this "spell" and you were fortunate. But for those of us who were under the influence, today is a new day. I hope it's a good one too. Zantoo, I'll miss reading you....take care, Love, Pollyanna
3 Comments
The "Big Bang" Mar 6, 2006 6:03 am
Mood: relieved, 510 Views
We have been told by scientists that the Universe started with a big explosion. The star dust and planets are still spraying across galaxies unknown. It is the biggest act of physical activity acknowledged in the Universe as we know it. This gigantic energy exploded creating a blast that cannot reverse itself back easily.

Human beings are the freest of all of God's creation. We can move and think and plan. We can build up or tear down. We can leap out of air planes and land safely on the ground. We can swim in unknown waters and not drown. We are amazing, yet we are still in a prehistoric state in terms of learning what our future potential holds.

Today, is going to be an overcast day of clouds and rain. It does rain in California.

I feel the need to just withdraw from everything and everyone. I don't want to take phone calls or talk to anyone. My son will be at work.

Somehow I feel drawn to becoming as small as I can be, even in a fetal position. I just want to get comfortable with aloneness and quiet.

The Universe cannot choose to do this without causing a great catastrophy. But I can. I am free. I hope everyone has a great day. Love, Pollyanna
3 Comments
The answer, is found in humility Mar 5, 2006 10:41 am
Mood: amused, 496 Views
There's a Country Western song that says, "if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"

The things I take pride in are not necessarily obvious. They are things I was taught and have managed to live up to today.

My Dad was not a religious man. He wasn't perfect. But he lived what he believed. There was no hypocracy. He believed and taught us to respect ourselves and each other. Simple things like that. He taught us what was ours and what was not.

I apologize to the one I offended in his earlier post. It is his God given right to be totally free as long as he obtains permission from the one he is with. I have taught my sons that choices have consequences. If you can take the consequence, go with it. But think it through carefully. Even good choices can end with bad consequences.

I've met a number of elderly people who have been proud of who and what they are. I have never met one person who was proud of the wrong they've done.

I'm proud that I believe in truth, decency, loyalty, being ethical, real love, but also possessing the ability to be humble when it's called for.

I believe that the wonderful thing about the chance to meet others is an opportunity to learn something we didn't know before. I'm learning.

So I have a toast, a white flag to send up in the name of piece.....A man asked his friend if he smoked after sex, his friend paused a minute and answered, I don't know, I never looked.

Truth is, there's a lot of smokin' going on in Eternity. Think about it....lololol. I do apologize though. God did not die and put me in charge. Your issue is with Him, not me. You were right, I was wrong, Love, Pollyanna
4 Comments
"Caterwauling" Mar 4, 2006 6:59 am
Mood: crazy, 548 Views
I believe I heard this word used when I was growing up. It's an unusual word. I guess somewhere in my mind, I knew I would need that word, like today.

Last night I went to the site that explains grieving. I haven't done that before, because I thought the less I paid attention to it, the less I'd have to deal with it.(Please God, please)

WELL!!! I read, I wasn't surprized, and then I got to the part where it basically said "Ya Gotta Do It!" Ya gotta do it, cause if you don't it COULD make you feel emotionally ill later in your life at inappropriate times........#@*%!!!

I have never thought my creator was crazy. But this is out and out crazy. Or else there are people who have developed this theory into a believable subject so that they could put little letters after their names and sell books on it.

None of this makes any sense to me. None of it.

Yesterday was a "caterwauling" day for me big time. I took extra medication to dull the pain of the day. Oh by the way, "Ya can't do that!!!"
Ya gotta feel it. Ya gotta write it all down, ya gotta, ya gotta, ya gotta!!!!!!!

Today, I would rather waller with 20 men in the mud, stark naked, than go through this any more.

But, Ya can't do that!!! I think I feel a real "mad" coming on. It's breakin' up things and throwing them, mad. It's not a killin' mad, just a level it to the ground mad.

Oh yeh, I gotta do it by myself. Love you all, Pollyanna
5 Comments
Just want it to be over Mar 3, 2006 8:52 am
Mood: hopeful, 645 Views
I had a dream before I woke up this morning. I dreamt that Marshall had come back and was in the living room. In my dream I got up all excited and happy. I ran into the front room, only to see someone else there. It made me cry this morning.

There are a number of you that have "been there and done that", regarding this time for me.

I'm not going to write when I'm having a bad day. I know it must get old. It's just that it's new to me.

I've heard sermons lately about people in the Bible who determined how long they would mourn.

I think that is interesting because feelings are so deep. I would like it to be over yesterday. But realistically I would like it to be over March 18th. I would really like to put it behind me. Thanks for listening, Love,Pollyanna
12 Comments
"Prayer changes things" Mar 2, 2006 8:27 am
Mood: content, 581 Views
I'm feeling calm and comforted this morning. Thank you for your prayers and kind support. Love, Pollyanna
6 Comments
Awestruck!! Mar 1, 2006 6:38 pm
Mood: good, 544 Views
I continue to be absolutely awed by the immediate response in love of the angels gathered together in this place. Thank you all so much. Love, Pollyanna
6 Comments
Trapped Mar 1, 2006 5:33 am
Mood: anxious, 613 Views
I'm feeling like a wild animal pacing in a cage.

The anniversary of Marshall's death is pressing in on me. I'm afraid of my own feelings. I'm afraid of my own reactions.

In one sense, I remind myself that it happened in 2005. It's not happening again. It's over. But I feel, on the other hand, that I will be revisiting that day and especially when I found him.

I want to go somewhere else around those days. I do not want to be here. Yet, everywhere I'd go, we've been.

This is where my thoughts are today. I know there are millions of men and women feeling as I do today. I am not alone, and yet I feel so all alone.

This is the other part of that "ever lasting love". This is the part no one warns you about. Once it happens, you hear others who know say, there was no way to prepare for it.

This is the part you have to do all by yourself, whether there is a room full of people or you sit in a chair by yourself. Please God help me through this. Love, Pollyanna
17 Comments
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