Advertisement
My Blog
Blogs > Pollyanna5 > Lemon Drops
Lemon Drops
  
Welcome to my blog!
Title View |
It's the biggest part of l"IF"e...... Oct 20, 2006 8:29 am
Mood: optimistic, 406 Views
I always have my eyes and ears open for new lessons and revelations. They are the true gifts I receive from life on a daily basis.

While in Salt Lake City, my sister was telling me about her supervisor. She's about our age. My sister works selling business equipment to big corporations. It's highly competetive and challenging. The pressure is usually on every month and morale is a chief factor in daily life on the job.

Her supervisor was hired because of her outlook and ability to lift the morale of the office.

Nancy is a happy and spontaneous woman. She told my sister that when she was growing up she didn't know any other way. Her family was usually happy. Her father always had a smile on his face.

When she was going to school she reflected this happiness on a daily basis and school friends told her that it just wasn't possible for people to be that happy all the time.

But she told them it was all she really knew.

My sister has been listening to tapes to help her in maintaining a positive outlook. We're all guilty of "stinkin' thinkin'" as they say.

This woman told her that her way of thinking is focused on the positive power in "if". What "if" I could make someone happier today? What "if" things will work out better than expected.....What "if" something unexpected happens today. This is the way she thinks.

My family was focused on the negative "ifs". "If" you go swimming you might drowned. "If" you go skating you might break your leg. We could never afford that. "If" you climb a tree you might get hurt, and on and on and on.

We attract what we focus on. When my sister and I parted, instead of crying, we looked at each other and smiled saying, "What if we see each other sooner again, for even more fun". There is real power in the way we focus on "IF". Afterall, it's the biggest part of l"IF"e. Love, Pollyanna
5 Comments
So, he didn't lick my face like a happy puppy.... Oct 19, 2006 8:31 am
Mood: happy, 424 Views
It's almost a "Norman Rockwell" picture. In the early morning, happy pets, small children, come bounding into the bedroom to pounce on the bed to say "Good morning" and playful moments start the day.

This morning Marshall #2 came bounding into my bedroom. I was only partially aware that it was morning.

He hit the bed at full force, gave me a big kiss on the cheek and asked me how I would like to have a chocolate covered buttermilk donut. That's my favorite. On the grayest day, that'll make my sun come up. I grabbed him in a neck hug and smiled and said, I would love it. He gave me another big kiss and jumped up on his way.

So he's 40, 6' tall. So he didn't lick my face like a happy puppy. So what, I loved it all anyway (smiles).

Hope you all have a great day. Love, Pollyanna
8 Comments
The "Absolute Emergency"lolol..... Oct 18, 2006 10:10 am
Mood: happy, 448 Views
Hi everybody!!! I have missed being in touch with you.

I left for Salt Lake City on 10/14 to avoid leaving on 10/13 for traditionally obvious reasons. I checked the weather for SLC before leaving. But I didn't check the weather for Phoenix, Arizona where I had to fly for a connecting flight to SLC. Wellllllllll, I guess Phoenix had just had a horrific thunder, lightning and rain storm. So bad that many flights had been cancelled. When we landed the weather seemed fairly clear. But the ramifications for other stranded flyers was chaotic.

Anyway, I got on the plane to head out to SLC. Boy, it was turbulant. So turbulant that the captain ordered the flight attendants to sit down, "now!!!". I am not a drinker. But I decided that the turbulance required a "light beer". Half way through the can nature told me that I had a trip to make. Naturally the captain told everyone to stay seated unless it was an absolute emergency. I asked myself when I was going to be having that "absolute emergency". Don't worry, it all worked out.

I spent four fabulous days with my sister and her husband. We talked and talked and talked. It's so different than talking on the phone. We went up into the local mountains for some fall colors. You know I loved that. It rained some which was just fine for this dried out Southern California girl. lolol. Anyway, it was so great.

I have a lot to share with you all later. I hope everyone is doing well. I haven't had a chance to read any of the posts. I'm glad to be home. It was all good. I love you all, talk to you later, Love(really mean that too)LOVE, Pollyanna
7 Comments
John's new Birthday..... Oct 12, 2006 7:59 pm
Mood: happy, 480 Views
A special anniversary is going to occur tomorrow. It will be the first year anniversary for Jenny's husband who passed last 10/13.

I told her that what it really is is a new birth day. I told her Marshall's date of passing was really a new birth day.

I explained that when we are conceived that we grow in a wonderful dark, warm, place where all of our needs are met.

Then there's a day when that part of our life must end. We die to that part of life as we are born into this one. Death and Birth are simply the front and back of the same door.

If we had the ability to be reasoned with prior to our physical birth, how would we ever be able to comprehend what this part of life could be. How would you teach an unborn about light and gravity. Sounds and smells. There would be nothing the unborn could reference it too. Therefore, we struggle with what lies beyond this part of life.

The Christian Bible tells us "eye hath not seen, nor ear heard the wonderful things awaiting those that love Him".

It's the exact same thing as before we were born.

Jenny likes the idea that her John had a new "Birthday". Love, Pollyanna
8 Comments
Training the mind, is that what I need to do? Oct 12, 2006 8:59 am
Mood: contemplative, 489 Views
During my breakdown in 10/99 I was told that I was suffering from severe depression with psychotic episodes.

Now psychotic, to me, meant I could kill someone. I didn't feel like I wanted to kill anybody.

But I remember feeling like I was walking on broken glass for a number of months. It hurt too bad to walk. There was no glass, but it felt like there was.

Then, when Marshall wanted me to go somewhere I felt like there were huge bands of rubber attached from my head to the ground and I had to really struggle against the pull to walk. I put my arm through Marshall's so I could walk with him.

At the time, it all seemed real to me. The pain of the glass and the straining against those invisable bands which held me back strongly.

There were other things as well, but these were the worst. Ultimately, it all went away but I spent alot of time in bed for the next couple of years after the breakdown.

Then I had surgery that kept me laying down a lot. Then the loss of Marshall and the debilatating loss of all desire to function at all.

Now, I would like to move around with more energy and movement than I am currently.

This morning I heard something about "training the mind". Did I train my mind to slow down physically? Do our minds cooperate with the loss of mobility and even accept unnecessary pain? I do wonder about all this. Anyone have any knowledge or experience with this? Love, Pollyanna
5 Comments
I'm really enjoyin the "up" while it lasts... Oct 12, 2006 8:33 am
Mood: happy, 424 Views
Over the next couple of days I'll be preparing for a flight to SLC to visit with my little sister. I'm leaving Saturday morning and will return on Tuesday. She works full time and is taking vacation time. I wish both sisters and I were going to be together. That will come in time.

It's always such a special time when I get to visit with either one.

Things are going well here at home. I just have to acknowledge how things have improved since I started my early morning prayer/affirmation. I'm doing that with my sons in the morning now too.

I'm feeling very happy. Since life does have it's ups and downs, I really want to enjoy the "up" while it lasts, lolol, Love you all, Pollyanna
7 Comments
Thinking like a "man"...... Oct 11, 2006 8:10 am
Mood: contemplative, 481 Views
Son #3 made a statement that his girlfriend felt like she had received a "cold shoulder" from us.

I looked at him and felt dumbfounded. I think his girlfriend is good for him. But neither of them have an income.

When she appeared out of the blue with a suitcase in hand, no one knew what her plan was. Any thought of her staying in my home with him was not a part of my plan.

I have found that in thinking through the accomplishment for providing a home for two fully adult men until they get their acts together, is far from emotional.

My focus is on how to manage this feat financially. Is it even feasible.

For the first time, I realize what traditional men have had to deal with. I can see how my Dad had to handle certain situations that seemed to fail to measure up to my emotional view of things.

When I was 19 years old I was paying for a car that my Dad had co-signed for. When my wedding had been planned and it was clear what my intentions were, my Dad told me the car was staying there with him. I was a bit shocked, especially since I had made all the payments and had been fully responsible. But my marriage meant more to me than the car. I abided by my Dads wish.

Today, I fully understand what he did and why he did it. He was being financially responsible. He knew that if my ability to continue making the payments stopped, the responsibility would fall back on him. My sister took over the payments of the car and she enjoyed it very much.

We went on and acquired our own car. I never felt resentful toward my Dad. He didn't believe in God, but he placed a very high value on his credit standing and he was not going to jeapardize it through the emotional feelings of a daughter.

I don't mind a man taking the reigns in taking on the fiscal responsibility of a family. But I learned through Marshall,not all men are capable or mature enough to do that well. He did become capable after he went into his later 40s.

I cannot and will not ever allow another person to be legally involved with my financial well being.

Being a woman does not automatically mean that I'm good at being domestic. That being the truth, being a man does not automatically mean he was born with the capability of managing the family finances well. Thus, I have learned what "thinking like a man" means. Love, Pollyanna
7 Comments
Soul Friends Oct 10, 2006 8:10 am
Mood: cheerful, 499 Views
I heard about "Jenny" before I ever met her. I joined a womens support group shortly after moving here. At that time I was nervous about driving and striving to recover from a breakdown that cost me my job.

For the first time in my life I was with a group of people that weren't linked to my work life. It was purely social and I had never really felt comfortable with social situations.

But I kept hearing about Jenny. How much she and I were alike. She wore her hair up, so did I. She always wore dresses, so did I. Jenny became a shadow in a group of women that were to change my life.

Jenny and I did ultimately meet at the one and only Alanon meeting Marshall and I ever attended. Michael was in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. Our minds were on him.

Jenny sat down next to me. We looked at each other and immediately I asked her if she was Jenny. She nodded and asked if I was Wanda. We were both amazed that we had heard about each other for so long and met in a totally unexpected way.

6 months after Marshall passed, Jenny's husband passed. I knew she had no children or family she felt close to. I vowed in my heart to call her everyday. I knew the aloneness she would be facing. I knew I could do that much for her.

We have become so close in our hearts, in our souls, in our openness with each other. We just enjoy talking about how we feel about possible new marriages and how fortunate we are to have a choice in that.

She told me that she had many friends here and she gave them her phone number. She went to Wisconsin to spend her summer. I'm the only one who stays in contact with her.

She says it's a miracle. She views my decision to stay in contact with her unbelievable. We laugh a lot. She calls me when shes doing something wonderful. Like she visited some lakes last week to see the fall colors and she called me to tell me what she was seeing. She walked through leaves and let me hear her doing that. I loved it. I could see it all with my minds eye.

Jenny and I are true soul friends. We both feel very blessed.

It's not how many friends we have, it's who they are to us that counts. Love, Pollyanna
8 Comments
A Visitation of Joy..... Oct 9, 2006 8:54 am
Mood: cheerful, 445 Views
This morning I awoke to a soft light shining from the kitchen. It was early for the morning. I could hear the rusling sound of coffee being prepared. Both sons were up and didn't want to wake the "Mama". lolol.

Of course coffee is best fresh out of the pot. It wasn't going to be wasted on me.

I was greeted with a big hug by Marshall #2. my head fits perfectly against his shoulder. It was a different kind of hug. It was a hug I felt my trust could go into. How I have missed that kind of hug.

Today is a big day. I promised #3 if he went through the Alcohol Rehab successfully and remained sober, I would pay to get his teeth fixed.

I called the Loma Linda School of Dentistry. I was told to begin calling at 8 a.m. this morning. I got through on the first call! It's a first come first serve arrangement. He has an appointment for next Thursday. I am so excited. A promise to be fullfilled.

I'm continuing to say my little prayer/affirmation the first moments I'm aware that I am awake in the morning. I've also started thanking God by reviewing all the good things that have happened during the day before I go to sleep at night.

From time to time I feel a "visitation of joy" come upon me. "The Prince of Peace". All is well here. Love, Pollyanna
4 Comments
It's not perfect yet, but we're working on it.... Oct 8, 2006 8:14 am
Mood: good, 461 Views
It's taken a couple of days for all of us (#2@#3)to readjust to being together. You should hear the talks going on in my house. All about the rehab center and the belief that son #3 should be the next to go. It's actually very amusing. I find myself laughing at them. I'm laughing at the stories behind the stays in the facility. All is not rosey and glowing there.

Yesterday, I went to an Autumn BarBeQue held for the celebration of those who have made it through recovery and those who are trying.

It was a beautiful sunny day. Son #1 met me there. We had a wonderful time together. As I watched him leave our table to go and get something for us to drink, I realized all the effort that has gone into giving him a new hold on life. It's a miracle! We went to a restaurant to finish the afternoon with pie and coffee. A personal celebration for his sobriety.

It gave even more meaning to all the families that were there. Even babies. All these people involved with someone in recovery. An awesome purpose presented in it's most uplifting way.

There were the hamburgers and hotdogs. Many salads and non alcoholic beverages.

There were plays and finally a beautiful group of young Mexican girls dressed in those deep rich colored dresses who performed traditional dances.

Son #3 is a roofer. He's walking on my roof as I'm writing. We had one hellacious hail storm and some leakage occured as a result of it while he was in rehab. He knows how to assess the damage and what to do.

The bearings on my trailer need to be replaced. Son #2 is mechanical. It will be repaired.

Marshall wanted girls. God gave me boys. No it's not perfect yet. But we're working on it. Love, Pollyanna
6 Comments
1 2 3 4 5 ... 10 ... 20 ... 30 ... 40 ... 50 ... 58 59 60 61 62 ... 70 ... 80 ... 90 ... 107 108 109

To link to this blog (Pollyanna5) use [blog Pollyanna5] in your messages.
65 F
Guidelines
April 2008
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
    1
  		2
  		3
1
4
  		5
1
6
  		7
  		8
1
9
1
10
  		11
  		12
 
13
  		14
  		15
  		16
  		17
  		18
  		19
 
20
1
21
1
22
1
23
  		24
1
25
  		26
 
27
  		28
  		29
  		30
  		     

Recent Visitors
VisitorAgeSexDate
DenverColorado 70M12/2
tangotime 54F11/21
JANO4860F11/2
Carolina_Barbe 67F10/7
thatbillguy71M9/28
hap2day 63M9/20
MistyLace5453F9/14
onearmymedic61M9/9
azman22 70M9/4
LilBitCountryGal66F8/29
Most Recent Comments by Others
PostPosterPost Date
"Comin' through the rye".......WillyMakitOct 22 1:48 am
A Merry Senior Christmas to all....IRELANDJun 4 9:29 am
Where oh where is my little Pollyanna.........IRELANDMay 17 9:41 pm
Mama and Meth........LapKittieApr 26 11:23 am
Mama's mad about her 'maters"eightpm1Apr 24 10:45 am
A miracle?or not a miracle........eightpm1Apr 11 8:39 am
Why would anyone want to be President now?eightpm1Apr 11 8:36 am
"Please God, not on April Fools Day"......imatalloneApr 6 5:41 pm
My life feels like a squirrel cage......eightpm1Apr 4 1:36 pm
KATZ!!!Roxy1946Mar 30 10:13 pm
A star in the making.......Elle712Mar 29 5:51 pm