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Gray clouds have silver linings Oct 22, 2005 7:32 am
Mood: cheerful, 819 Views
I was very touched by Scooter's "Gray clouds over the BLOG room".

One of the reasons I love this space is other people give me things to think about.

Over the years I have had counselling. What I learned was that my feelings tell me how I feel, but I don't always let them tell me what to do.

We all become connected to people we are involved with. It's just natural. But being individuals we also have the responsibility for stepping back and assessing what we are receiving in a given situation.

People are people everywhere. Our differences make life interesting. While someone is dying, a birth is on the way. Life happens between the two.

I am truly sorry when someone gets in a little too close and gets burned. That is why we need to observe a wise but necessary space between us.

I realize from my working years that certain people cluster together. They begin to take on a particular point of view. Depending upon the negative or positive state they are in, they can often influence others who could go either way.

That is where the beauty of recognizing our individuality comes in. We don't have to jump into every "pool" that presents itself.

One Gladiator focused one of his BLOGS on how life moves in a circle. Sometimes a situation stops serving us and then it is truly time to move on. But it shouldn't influence the rest of us. This place is an answer to my lonely prayers. I am so glad that I live at cyberspace time. I have found new friends. Some far wiser than myself. Some who have funney memories or stories to tell. As in regular life, we need to support those who are hurting. You have done that for me. Sometimes, we need to sit back and observe and keep on moving. I love you all, Pollyanna
2 Comments
Mockingbird's Hill Oct 21, 2005 8:12 am
Mood: cheerful, 937 Views
When I was a little girl, my mother would sometimes have the radio on. It was before TV appeared on the scene at least in my home.

There was a song that I heard that has sung inside my head from that time. I believe it went like this, "When the sun in the morning creeps over the Hill, I wake up in the morning to the Mockingbird's trill. Tra la laaa Twidily dee dee it gives me a thrill, to wake up in the morning to the Mockingbird's trill". I don't know if any of you remember that song. But this morning for the first time in months, my soul is singing. These times are so precious to me. I live for them. It's a personal day of celebration. I'm happy that I'm happy. I'm going to take a walk this morning and really feel the sun and see the Palm trees and listen to the birds. I used to feel happiness like this most of the time. Now those days come infrequently. So that is why I must focus and appreciate this day. Tra la laaa twiddley dee dee it gives me a thrill to wake up in the morning to the Mockingbird's trill"......Love Pollyanna
9 Comments
Joy at a Funeral Oct 20, 2005 7:21 pm
Mood: grateful, 809 Views
Strange topic I know. My friend's husband passed October 13th. The funeral was held today.

I wasn't sure I could handle going, since I have only been 7 months into my own grieving. But I decided to go. I'm so glad that I did.

I have worked really hard to get myself on track with life again. I've written about some issues which some of you have helped me with.

I was able to not only be there for my friend, but I was able to comfort her and hug her without coming apart myself. I look forward to being there for her after everyone has moved on. She has no adult children and I can pretty well figure when she'll need a loving hand.

My joy is that I can see I've really done well. I'm really coming through my own loss. Enough, that I can really reach out to someone else. I know that doesn't mean I'm totally out of the woods yet. But seeing her showed me how far I've come. I am so grateful. Thanks to each one of you who have given of your wisdom to help me. Love, Pollyanna
3 Comments
Laura & George Oct 19, 2005 10:07 am
Mood: contemplative, 846 Views
Like most everyone,I respond differently to the issues that are coming up and how our President is handling them.

I laughed at the irony confronting Prsident Bush. In the midst of fire over the Iraq War,the starving masses in Sudan, the onslaught of natures furies on the Southern coast of our country. The earthquake in Pakistan has brought total devastation to that county.

When asked by news reporters, "What is America going to do about helping them?" He lowered his head slightly and while shaking it back and forth, he said, "we'll do what we can, we'll do what we can".

The next day or so after that, Laura and George were attending a celebration of sorts helping with the first shovel of dirt in rebuilding New Orleans. All fresh and crisp looking like they didn't have a care in the world.

Add to this, the human aspects that all people face on a daily basis: trouble with the relatives, problems on his ranch. Heart burn, migraines, constipation, due to hodge podge eating on flights ect., not "getting it his way" at Burger King, and wanting to call in sick once in a while.

I wouldn't have his job for all the wealth in the world. I would hide in a closet with a bag over my head for the rest of my days. It makes me wonder, "what was he thinkin'?", as Dr. Phil would say. What I would like to know are the following; Who really makes the decisions he gives publically on all issues. How does he maintain any sense of sanity. And most of all, is it really worth all he and Laura are going through.

And I thought I had problems.
5 Comments
Angels Oct 18, 2005 6:19 pm
Mood: grateful, 811 Views
In my BLOG called "Bumble Bees" I reached out for some encouragement and bless goodness if I didn't receive wonderful wisdom from Angels waiting for my call.

Hearing from people with experience is so meaningful. I feel warmth and support. I will try not to tire you all out. We want to focus on the good, the beautiful and for me, what is funny.

I believe that we each take turns being an Angel in someone's life. Likewise, others are often Angels in our lives. I have found Angels here. I am blessed.

My favorite scripture is Psalms 34. It has proven to be true for me over and over again.

Right now I'm reading a humorous book before I go to sleep. I am also trying to remember to pray that God and my angels will keep my spirits up. I try to pray at night before I go to sleep and first thing when I wake. It is working. Love you all, Pollyanna
3 Comments
Bumble Bees Oct 17, 2005 9:26 am
Mood: hopeful, 857 Views
My son reminded me of something I have known for years, but never think about. Aerodynamically, Bumble bees can't fly. Scientists who care, have carefully investigated this phenomenem and Bumble bees defy all the rules required to get themselves up into the air and on their way. Yet they do it all the time. What is the answer to this?

I am like a Bumble bee in that aerodynamically I can't fly. I want to fly. I know what it is to "fly" in my life and get things done. But since my husband passed, I'm going through this process. I know what I need to do and what I should do, but the drive to do any of it is simply not there.

I would like to hear from those of you who have been through the "process". I would like some words of wisdom. Do I fight my apathy, or do I just go with it? I'd like you to know for starters I really do want to put all that's happened behind me and get on with living. That's my desire. But here I am. Help!! Thanks, Love Pollyanna
5 Comments
To CA Carefree Spirit Oct 16, 2005 8:08 am
Mood: contemplative, 748 Views
Your BLOG is currently off and I wanted to respond to your comment on my last BLOG. I appreciatd what you had to say.

I woke up this morning trying to figure out what I was doing in this pen pal relationship. I think I've worked it through. What you said about "enjoying pain" is something I will explore. There may be some truth in it. The man has responded but not to each letter. We've exchanged Christmas gifts and cards and phone calls. But not nearly as much as I would have liked.

I grew up in a rough home environment. My father was a batterer to my mother. He treated me like a princess, which later confused me about men and life with them. My recent husband treated me very well. But there were still painful times in that relationship. I guess somewhere deep inside, I learned that relationships can hurt and hurt bad. I've stuck it out to prove that I can take the pain. I guess I've given myself points for that. I have gained strength from the pain in my life. I can take it. But I don't dish it out. Do I love it? I don't know. Can I live life avoiding it? I don't think so. Pain is a part of every area of this life. Those that can't take it, have to do something. I just chose to take it and keep on truckin. I really appreciated your response. I will be thinking about this for a while. Thank you. Love Pollyanna
1 comment
Points Oct 15, 2005 4:45 am
Mood: good, 826 Views
I have had a pen pal relationship with a man for over 13 years. It's allowed me to share my heart about those things that are important. The problem for me is he does not respond.

I don't know what the deal about points is here. They aren't important to me. What I love are the responses from those who read my efforts to BLOG.

I really love to read everyone elses BLOG too. I appreciate the comraderie and the funny stories too.

I think that running this website must be a horrendous job. So whether I make points or not is not an issue for me. Connecting with you is what matters most to me. Thank you each for your thoughts and responses. Love, Pollyanna
10 Comments
Working Mother's Guilt Oct 14, 2005 10:36 am
Mood: aggravated, 782 Views
While awakening in a hotel in Landcaster, Pennsylvania, I tuned into a Good Morning America program.

I had come into a conversation that had already begun before I tuned in. The topic was "working mother's guilt". A woman has written a book on the subject. She explained that a woman should remember to present a positive image to her children as she went about her motherly duties while preparing them as well as herself for the day. I nearly choked on that one.

I thought back to when my children were young. I had four son's. How I looked to my children in the morning was the least of my concerns. Half dressed, with my hair in my eyes, butt in air, as I scrambled for a missing shoe under a bed, er, maybe in the closet. My mind was on the clock, and where we needed to be in the routine. My children were in various moods, some crying, some laughing and a couple was always fighting over something. Just getting out the door was an accomplishment.

The second topic had to do with potty training an enfant up to 6 months. A shot of a new mother holding her clean and beautiful child over a small potty on top of the toilet flashed on. Mother's hair was in perfect place as she patiently heald her distracted daughter. The writer of this book said it was necessary for a new mother to become familiar with her child's sounds, so she could recognize the "mommy, it's coming" sound. The words the writer used focused on the need to "respect" the sounds of her child.

I can tell you as the new mommy to each of my son's I knew their sounds. Sometimes I wanted to plaster a pillow over my head and pretend I didn't have a child. "Respect".

Those topics were followed by an ad which showed a woman in dispair. The question asked, "do you feel depressed?" The following shots showed her children looking at her, followed by her husband, and then grandparents. I noticed that she didn't have her "supermom cape" on. Maybe it was lost in the mountain of laundry waiting to do be done.
Yes, depression comes with the territory. I still take meds to this day.

This country has erred greatly in choosing to ignore the fact that not only are mother's necessary, outside the work place,they deserve "respect" too.

Give me a break for God's sake!
0 Comments
Intercourse Oct 13, 2005 11:42 am
Mood: cheerful, 897 Views
My 41 year old son accompanied me on a dream trip to Amish Country in Pennsylvania. I had wanted to go with my husband before he passed. But my son said this was going to be "our" trip.

We were gone 8 days. It rained the whole time from October 6th to October 12th when we returned to sunny California.

I have been drawn to the Amish for some time. I have heard just enough over the years, that I just had to go and see and learn. It would take a book to share our experiences.

As we took off down Highway 30 we we're told that we would see most of what the Amish country was about. Unlike the pictures I've seen, the Amish were carefully out of site. The one road drive did let us see beautiful farmland and silos and homes. But only a few of those horse drawn buggies flying down the road to the side where rainwater and mud flew up on them from passing motorists.

As I looked at the map, I saw Smokietown, followed by Bird in Hand and then the town of Intercourse.

The burning question I had was over why such religious people would name a town Intercourse. My son and I laughed as we re read Bird in Hand. The picture we were getting was not what the Amish had in mind, we were sure. But why the name?

On a tour of an Amish home, I asked the guide why the town was so named. Her young answer was, "I don't know". Does anyone out there know the answer?

What I took away from my lesson on Amish living was that it was a choice, made by young people, after being allowed to experience the "world" outside of their lives. Amazingly 90 percent of the young people choose to return to their Amish beliefs and traditions.

I was able to look at my own life and consider if I had learned anything that would enhance my own life after learning more about theirs. The one thing that touched me most of all, is their desisions are based on how not to take away from their experience of being a family and good neighbors. The horse and buggy are used primarily to keep the family together.

In the not to distant future, we may be looking to these folk for anwers to how to live in a world where energy conservation may not be enough.

They certainly are the salt of the earth and I feel we are fortunate to be able to share in their wisdom. Love, Pollyanna
8 Comments
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