 A Merry Senior Christmas to all.... |
Dec 25, 2007 9:55 am
Mood: cheerful, 2512 Views | A Merry Senior Christmas to us all.
I don't know what you're doing this morning. I started by calling everyone I have a phone number for and singing "I wish you a Merry Christmas". It was a lot of singing, and some I left on voice mails.
I'm sitting alone in my den. My two trees are lit. I have a TV channel on that has dedicated today to a burning Yule Log and real Christmas music.
I need to do some picking up in the house. I'm alone but not lonely. Marshall's picture is looking right at me. He loved Christmas so much.
I have a few people who will be joining me this afternoon for a Turkey dinner and all the fixins prepared by a local market that cooks the whole meal. All I have to do is heat it.
I'm thinking about past Christmas'. The funny ones, the ones where all, I mean all the family was together.
The hassle of shopping, and Marshall was the gift wrapper. He loved it.
I can remember when there were so many packages that there wasn't room under the tree for all of them.
I remember how wonderful Marshall smelled when I bought him the first bottle of Polo perfume for him.
I remember the most outrageous gift Marshall gave me was a hand held small vacuum cleaner. I didn't have a floor model at the time. I hardly knew how to respond to him. It was obvious that if I was going to use it on the floor, I'd have to do it on my hands and knees. I don't know what he was thinking.
I think I know how men must feel at Christmas. No "toys"!!!
And then the childhood memories of Christmas, and Christmas programs we were in.
It's all so good. I send my love out to light a candle in the places where you, like me, are celebrating a part of Christmas alone. It's not so bad now, is it? Merry Christmas, Love, Pollyanna | |
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8 Comments | |
| "There'll be Joy in the Camp",,,,, |
Nov 3, 2007 8:22 am
Mood: happy, 3467 Views | Welllll, I got the results of the Cat Scan. The chemo is not working. All my lab tests are good. The doctor said I am very healthy and I can live a relatively normal length of time. Like everyone else.
Apparently, I have this "little fella" in my liver that thinks he's found a nice little home.
When I think of the bombardment of the horrible chemo he went through, he not only fought, he thrived,lolol.
Few in my life have shown such a tenacity for my company. I think I want to give him a name, but I'm not sure for now what that would be. Now you may ask, "how does she know it's a he?" Well some things you just know....
Actually when I was given the news, I felt a sense of great relief. No more chemo, no more blood pressure medicine that made me giddy, dizzy, and sick. Now my hair can grow back. That was the hardest loss for me. I know, I know, where are my priorities......
I feel free. I will be living with cancer in my liver. Doctor said my liver is functioning perfectly. Though the tumor is growing, the doctor said we can live with even a portion of liver function. But mine is doing fine.
The doctor told me if I remain as healthy as I am I can live a relatively normal life.
So like the rest of the world, I will live until I die.
I don't want you to feel sorry for me. This life has not been the best thing to have lived. The condition of our government being run by a traitor, and his entourauge, the plight of our plantet. Children being taught about intimate encounters, then shocked media reports that orl intimacy is on the rise in our teenagers. What did they expect for pete sakes? That's just for starters. I'm glad I have my tickets for the "Soul Train". Folks it's not going to get better. Let's be honest here.
My income is shrinking because of the cost of everything. TV is boring, lolol.
Now I've gotten a new sense of the joy I can initiate in my life because I realize it's going to end at some point in the future...... like it is for eveyone else.
After that,I pray, I want so much, to reunite with my Marshall. I've met some very nice men, but they are not Marshall. Though there is one,smiles. Thank you for listening.
May God be praised for his many gifts and blessings, because I have been given both. Love, Pollyanna | |
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17 Comments | |
| We are citizens of the Universe...... |
Sep 21, 2007 9:29 am
Mood: cheerful, 3836 Views | Also on the news they pointed out that we are citizens of the Universe.
I have often thought about the possibility that each race and ethnic group came from their own individual planets. For some reason we were rescued by the planet Earth. A last chance to work out our differences and come to peace and acceptance of each other.
It has come to me also, that at some time, we may have a chance to go to individual planets again.
Because we have had the opportunity to work through our differences and understand each other, we can return to individual planets and have peace in the Universe because we have had this opportunity.
In honor of Peace Day, let's do at least one peaceful thing. Either for ourselves or someone else. I'm really flying out there, huh? Love, Pollyanna | |
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8 Comments | |
| "My eyes bugged out, and my face turned blue" |
Sep 21, 2007 7:45 am
Mood: amused, 3892 Views | Yesterday was a very special day. It was my soul sister's birthday. All my sisters share in the tradition of calling early in the morning and singing Happy Birthday to each other. It's a little thing but it can actually start the joy for the day.
Well, I called Jenny and sang Happy Birthday to her and then we agreed to meet in the afternoon for pie and coffee.
She had other friends invite her to lunch and since she's a civic minded person she attends various meetings and functions going on in town.she was busy doing those things as well.
We met at about 1:30 p.m. She said she was so stuffed that she couldn't eat another thing, but she didn't want to miss a visit with me.
Our visits usually happen over the phone. So I had Banana cream pie and coffee. As usual when we start talking somehow things get really funny. We laugh and get tickled like little kids.
Then she looked over at me and said, "maybe we should get married". I looked real close at her, and she was dead serious. "My eyes bugged out and my face turned blue".
We've shared our feelings about not wanting to get married to a man again. But I guess I should include women too. I want to be a free spirit. I don't want to have to answer to anyone or have anyone have to answer to me.
My first question was, "What if we fight?". She said we've proven to each other that we can talk through and resolve anything.
Then I said, I wanted to spend all the money (she's wealthy, I'm not) and she could reconcile the check book(s). She laughed. I turned it into play.
But she was serious. We love each other dearly, but not in that way. You never know what is going to pop up in the day,lolol. | |
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8 Comments | |
| Mama and Meth........ |
Apr 24, 2008 1:16 pm
Mood: amused, 1303 Views | As some of you know I have 4 adult sons, each in various stges of recovery from the addiction of illegal drugs and alcohol.
Many of you folks have remembered my sons in your prayers over this and even though God doesn't jump at the snap of our fingers, when he starts moving, he makes no mistakes. It's a miracle in the happening. They all are turning around, Praise God!!!
When I asked to be put under Hospice care, I didn't realize how drastic things would change. The reason I didn't post was my mind was so foggey I couldn't even get out of bed. Those I talked to on the phone and off, said my language was severely slurred.
Hospice has changed all my medication around. I'm just taking a few. One is Methadone.
Now if you don't think that didn't cause a ruckes among the sons, you'd be fooling yourself.
Here they are, after years of substance abuse, going through AA and therapy and also legal forms of drugs to overcome their dependency, then as life would have it, "Meth" is the drug of choice for Mom.
I'm told by the nurses that small doses of it are used to control pain and in the process, raise my energy level and feelings of joy.
This sounds too good to be true of course. It's provided free through Hospice.
So I decide to nervously try half a dose. I begin to feel calmed. My coughing fits diminish and bless goodness, when I wake up the next morning I'm ready to play and sing, almost like in the Disney film "Snow white".
I didn't realize how much life the regular medications was draining from me.
This world of medicine is not all pure and innocent and given out of good intent. Corruption is leading the way.
My son went to Walgreen's to fill a pain medication and he was at the drivethru window and a very large Asian pharmasist pushed people aside to angrily tell my son he had to fill the prescription and he had to take his money, but combined with another med I was taking it could kill me.
Simple, natural, with the sunny brightness from the Holy Spirit within are the best therapies. We must all understand in a gentle way we are not meant to live forever. There will be a transformation and that it is designed to be good and not one to be afraid of. Love, Pollyanna | |
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14 Comments | |
| Mama's mad about her 'maters" |
Apr 22, 2008 10:31 am
Mood: contemplative, 1068 Views | This mornng I awoke to workmen replacing old homes with those new prefab stick houses.
I just knew they were throwing cynder blocks and debris carelessly where our tender little tomato plants were successfully poking their little heads through.
The audacity of the workmen enraged me. Dressed in my robe and half awake I went out to take on Ghinjas Kahn. I may be little, but size in no issue when I think I'm right.
I stormed out to the back yard and the only one working was a young 21 year old man who was working to support his wife and her daughter.
He was no one to lay what i had to say on. But I did share my outrage with the corporations who use crews to build New homes but without the quality and pride older homes reflected in our park. After a few good rains those houses are going to look llike junk. The very audatity of those "Land God's" is just sickening. They come in with their noise, their dust and dirt flying and loud bangs and booms that make you jump up out of you seat.
By what authority do they just have the right to disregard everything in their path.
I asked the young man if he could aford to buy one of the houses, he said no. I told him I I couldn't afford to buy one of the houses because I wouldn't have anything to live on afterward.
So here we have a young man building a house he can't afford. He's buying things he can't afford (credit cards)and people who are trying to have the most of the best without realizing it's all valuless.
I did have a chance to encourage him to think about his spirituality. Ultimately when the world finds out it can eat itself no more, there won't be any where to turn too, but the birthing and nurturing the Holy Spiritwithin ourselves will provide a safe haven. At a time when so much seems to be crashing around us, God, my Wonderful God is providing for me. Our whole purpose for being here is to get our tickets for the "Soul Train". I've got mine, do you have yours, Because when it's time to earnestly seek leadership which will lead us out of the mess man has created, God is all there is. Sometimes it's a good thing to get mad about out "maters". Love Pollyanna | |
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8 Comments | |
| "Comin' through the rye"....... |
Apr 21, 2008 10:34 am
Mood: contemplative, 1492 Views | Having this opporunity is a rare one in that it's like I'm taking a car trip down a road I have not traveled before.
Most people have been socialized into shunning the very thought of becoming "old". I'm in the driving seat with only the foggest notion to where the road is going to take me.
Like many dear ones here, we start getting to know our local ER and the medical staff begin calling us by our first names.
When hospitalized, the hospital takes away all your normal meds, you go on their schedule. Any one my age knows what I'm talking about.
There's much to do going on their part in using IVs, tubes and button that are often out or reach. I just can't go backt to that, not any more.
So enters Hospice. Knowedge, assistance, 24 hour phone access. Equipment, nebulizers AND throwing the meds away. Hay! Wait a minute, I thought my dailey health could not go forward without all those pills.
Not only do they pay for everything, I don't have to be conceren about anything.
Add to that the medication explosions going on in my head, and you may understand why I don't feel like I can make any sense at all.
Thank you for your love and concern. Love Pollyanna | |
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21 Comments | |
| Where oh where is my little Pollyanna......... |
Apr 20, 2008 4:01 pm
Mood: calm, 3535 Views | Well, it's nice to be back. You may be asking, "back from where". Even I can't figure out that one.
It stated with the hospital experience, then on to the transition from regular hospital to Hospice.
Every thing has changed. Medications have been changed with my mind and imagination following every trip and fummble that is coming with that.
I now understand why older folks seem confused and muddled. We don't get thre by choice, that's for sure.
They tell me I'll get my vim and vinnegar back in short time. Thank you for your many prayers and thoughts. I treature every one. Love, Pollyanna | |
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53 Comments | |
| Why would anyone want to be President now? |
Apr 9, 2008 9:30 am
Mood: contemplative, 1054 Views | I just read 60 minute man's post on if President Bush should quit. I like to check in on 60 minute man to see what he is up too.
What boggles my imagination is we have 3 President elects clawing for the Presidency. It is such a fandangled mess, especially with Iraq, only an insane person would want such a job.
What is it that these 3 are really after? There is nothing on the face of the Earth I would be President for. No fame, no fantastic benefits, and especially the garbage throw. Any one of the three is going to have the Country telling them what a rotten job they are doing.
All I know is, we have a real set of crisis' going on in our own country. With the financial problems growing everyday, none of our government officials have volunteered to cut their pay for the greater good of our population.
I guess I better stop. I'm beginning to ramble. Just my thoughts, Pollyanna | |
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8 Comments | |
| A miracle?or not a miracle........ |
Apr 8, 2008 9:13 am
Mood: happy, 867 Views | As you know I pray often to God and my angels.
I have sufficient funds to take care of all my needs plus some extras. But several weeks ago I asked God and my angels for $1000.00 more per month and it had to be tax free. Then I forgot about it.
This past January I was able to finally go in and apply for VA Widow's benefits. The VA rep told me I wasn't eligible because Marshall and I weren't married at the time of his death. She asked me if I wanted to apply anyway. I told her since I was there to go ahead and send the application.
I thought at most I might receive $100-$200 per month which would be nice.
During my one of my lower times, my son came in with a notice from the VA in a big manila envelope.
It said I was eligible to $1091.00 per month for the rest of my life. Further it is tax free.
Was that ever a booster shot!!! Now I'm having fun deciding what I can do with it.
I feel I have God and my angel's favor and love. They never let me down.
If that's so, why isn't the cancer gone? God has a purpose for allowing me to have this cancer. It is a real situation which would cause most people to come completely apart. But because I have chosen to put it in His perfect will, I will follow His lead. I'm not just talking the talk, I'm walking the talk. There's a big difference between the two. I hope you all have a wonderful day. Love, Pollyanna | |
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4 Comments | |
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