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Music
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Jul 31, 2005 9:00 pm
Mood: amused,
769 Views
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I was iming the other day and shared this with a friend.. I still am thinking about it so I have decided to write a blog about it.. years back I was working a second job as I walked past this place I would hear the music..I loved it so one night I decided to slip in and see what was going on. I stood very close to the door, I was so very shy and scared at first, but saw there was a spot I could fade into the curtain snd still be close to the door if I wanted to leave quickly. I never sat down , I just stood in the shadows of the curtain. There was this guy playing piano, he was wonderful. What brought me in was his singing "Only You" every night. I loved the song (an old one) so would come earlier and get in my spot to listen to him and always wipe a tear or two and slip out. One night I thought I missed my song..He started singing "Misty" and I swear he was looking right into my eyes..I thought no one could see me, just then a waitress walked over and handed me a note..I started shaking and ran out the door. I didn't read the note.. I was caught..I was shaking all the way to work. When I got to work. I took a deep breath and unfolded the note. It said " Don't cry little girl"! For weeks I took a differant way to work, didn't stop. One night I got off early.. yes, I slipped into my spot. He saw me I guess, he was in the middle of a song and stopped . He started singing "Misty". I smiled a nervous smile at him, no tears. After that night when I would slip in he would say .. "This is for my Little Girl" and sing Misty. We never spoke he would look me in the eye as he sang, a couple times he took a break and started my way but I was out the door. I did this for probably 5 months..lol.. then I moved away. But I never stopped thinking about how special I felt , hiding in that corner watching and listening to him sing...Wonder if he ever thought about me.. I never forgot him...
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7
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A old friend returns..
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Jul 24, 2005 3:15 pm
Mood: cheerful,
782 Views
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Have you ever just been sitting there, in front of the computer, and an "im" pop up. Was it from someone you really liked as a person, friend.. And it made your whole face lightup. Maybe this person never knew how much they meant to you... how much you enjoyed the conversation..how much happiness they brought into your life. And one day.. they just dissapeared. Did you wonder "Did I say something to make them go away"? Yes I have.. and then one day..  .. Recently this happened to me.. and I was so excited to hear from the person.. I talked like a raving idiot..lol. All of you that really know me..know I don't just like people .. I love them .. I guess ..with my past it made me need people. I can talk for hours and say nothing..lol. Oh and if you can talk country music.. I am in heaven...lol. So back to the renewed happiness in my life.. the friend .. that returned.. even if breifly .. to chat.. Thank you, you will always be a special friend to me.. You have to be special to put up with my rantings..lol.. And thank you for the much needed smiles you brought with you..
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5
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Writing Blogs...
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Jul 23, 2005 1:09 am
Mood: excited,
821 Views
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Well here we all are sitting here day and night.. pouring out our souls. I think blogs are the neatest thing since sliced bread!!! We can sit here and tell of our hopes, dreams and desires in the private of our own little computer screen. We share this with our friends old and new.. to let them know more about ourself, about our pain and joys, happiness and sadness. You name it and it is discussed here..lol. So friends... reply... we are hoping to hear your views on our blogs... We learn this way ... Read us and let us know what you think...
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6
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Good ol' days...
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Jul 20, 2005 10:54 pm
Mood: grateful,
796 Views
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The other day my daughters and I were talkin about growing up (I can't believe they are 41, 40,and 32) My oldest said "Mom do you remember how we would search around the house, get in the floor vents (we lived in a trailor park) and look for a few more pennies to buy a loaf of bread?" How could I forget...it was an embarresing moment..my daughters thoughts going back to a very hard time in our life. At that moment I wished I could erase that thought from her mind, I want her to remember better times. Tears filled my eyes, as I put my head down.."Yes" I said .."I remember" .. she said "Mom..don't cry... those were the good ol' days" She hugged me and said "Mom..we made it and look how proud you are of all of us now" Funny how wise they seem to get as they get older... and I get younger...lol. Guess I am glad they think of the past as "The Good Ol' Days"
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6
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Love is....sharing with your friends...
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Jul 10, 2005 10:21 am
Mood: loved,
741 Views
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Love is a feeling in your heart that you never asked for... never planned on... and you have no idea how it got there. Once love fills your heart you can never explain it...never understand it...or be without it.
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2
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Friends is Flordia, Alabama, Mississippi and Texas..
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Jul 10, 2005 1:23 am
Mood: okay,
802 Views
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You are all in my thoughts and prayers. Please try to be safe.. don't take any chances. I want you to come back to SFF chat and tell us you are all well. Until you do.. "God Bless and keep you " ... Mary ♥
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3
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Old...Fat...Ugly...I know..
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Jul 2, 2005 5:26 am
Mood: sad,
826 Views
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You bet I am..and I know it..LOL But darn I am fun..LOL Well I was, then I started letting people in chat get under my skin!! Don't get me wrong, I love my chat friends, most of them. But if there is a "Jerk" or an "ANGRY WOMAN" out there I am gonna find them. I tend to be a #1 Jerk Magnet. I love people..all people even the ones that put me down. I see good in everyone. But I think I may have outdone even me this time!! Have you got a minute??? Well sit down, let me explain, OK? Where to start? Let's see.. I met a very sweet, nice guy on here recently. I really don't have anything to offer anyone except friendship, another has a piece of my heart. So I have (had) a new friend. We liked so many of the same things, including Moose Tracks ice cream. We shared stories, jokes, music. But sadly just 10 days into our friendship he went from Dr Jeckle to Mr Hyde. What happened???? How could such a nice person change so quickly??? I must have said or done something terrible. Or is it that being a female he couldn't accept me as "Just a friend"? I feel a great loss here!! I was in his words "A beautiful person" just a few days ago..now I am fat, ugly, old, and trailor park trash (I don't live in a trailor). I am threated with ..he will come on SFF as me and show me what he can do. He will hack my computer, he will down load my files...and on and on. All those things he says he will do ..and the horrible things he said to me (OMG I can't say them here) will never hurt me as much as the loss of a person I thought was kind, sweet, considerate..a friend. Maybe I am not SFF material...maybe I am not the friend I thought I could be..maybe being lonely, wanting friends is wrong. One more time the emotional/compassinate person that I hate I am has stabbed me in the back...and twisted the knife. I will get through this...a few days no one will know the pain it causes me, I will lock it safely in my heart so no one can see it. And shed tears of pain when no one can see me because I have failed yet one more friendship.
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20
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Have I told you lately???
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Jun 28, 2005 9:17 pm
Mood: beautiful,
926 Views
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Life is so busy... people are so busy, days and nights seem to just run together. In this busy world of rush..rush..rush.. I sometimes forget. What??? To tell my SFF friends how much "I Love You". When I am Happy ..you are happy for me... and when I am at rock bottom you are always there to get me afloat again. When someone hurts me... you my friends are right there to defend me... where in the world could anyone find any finer love than that. I am not going to say everyone in SFF feels this way about me... but you know who you are and from the bottom of my Duct tape Heart...lol, I say thank you... I love you ... You are the family I don't have... thank you for standing tall beside me. Thank you for caring and sharing and being my loving friends.... God Bless You....... Mary ♥
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9
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Still Wondering??
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Jun 22, 2005 9:35 am
936 Views
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Sometimes I wonder ..am I alone in wondering what happened to friendships and family values? Where is life as we knew it growing up? Yes I know times have changed. I am not saying the world should stand still, I am saying what happened to caring and sharing and right from wrong. Now it seems life is all about what we can get and how much more we can have then someone else. What we can find out about people and how fast we can use that against them. Even our chat room that had brought so many of us together from so many places is turmoil. I know I am a very emotional person, I love people, and all the anger and backstabbing and criticizing of people hurts me deeply. I am sure if you are reading this you are saying if you don't like it stay away...but is that the answer?? Or is there a chance we could bond together and see if we could somehow find a way to become more agreeable, caring, sensitive friends. Some of us are not lucky enough to have social lives and we seek friendships through the computer to fill the void in our lives. There are many reasons we do this .. be it we are not outgoing, financially able, have transportation, don't have a clue where to meet people, new to being alone, maybe just need a change of pace, work late hours, and don't forget the heartbroken and/or lonely. What ever reason we have come together here and we all have a right to be treated as equals. Maybe some people start out a bit sour, but we as friends should give them the benefit of the doubt and maybe reach out our hand in friendship. Where did that Compassion go that we were taught growing up? I know many are already trying to do this, but sometimes it seems there is a bit of provoking, and a great deal of judging people that we have never made a step in their shoes. I am not saying any of this to hurt or accuse anyone, I just know that many people, like me, need and want all the friends they can find and there is a "Big Chill" in the air in SFF. So I will close with saying Please shake a cyber hand today... there are many lonely people , like me in this world that need your friendship. Thank you, Mary ♥
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12
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Trust....have I lost it??
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Jun 18, 2005 9:18 am
Mood: annoyed,
817 Views
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I have always thought of myself as a good caring friend. I love people, I treasure my friends. But something sad has happened to me... I don't TRUST like I always did. I have always taken pride in the fact that I have been able to be a good compassionate friend... but today ... it slapped me in the face!! I am not the person I once was. I have become someone else...I don't know me..I judged someone wrongly and I think I hurt him and that pains me severely. I have hurt myself before and I can handle that... but for me to hurt someone ... this is too much for me. The real joy in my life, besides my family, has been knowing I could be "A Buddy" to people I meet. Growing up I was always everyones Buddy..even was my nickname. Now I have allowed my heart to ache and it has somehow caused me to see things and people differently. For so many years of my life I would not allow myself to go beyond friendships. I cried with friends over their problems... I hugged and listened and was a true friend. Doing anything I could to help because I was that kind of person and I just wanted them to be whole and happy again. Then... for the first time in my life .. I really gave my heart away... it was not the right thing to do and I paid dearly for my mistake...I almost lost friends that I truly care for. And even worse than that... I quickly judged a new friend by words I read on this screen. I didn't ask... I accused... so you see it is about me. It was not fair that I did this and I am very upset with myself... I want the person I was less than a year ago to return... I have to learn to TRUST again or I will be of no good to anyone or myself... Today .. for the first time in my life I am asking my friends for help. Please forgive me for being self centered and if I have been less than a friend .. please forgive me. I am working on me.. I will trust again... I promise. Mary ♥
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3
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To link to this blog (IAMWOMAN57) use [blog IAMWOMAN57] in your messages.
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