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Loss of a child May 9, 2008 3:35 pm
Mood: sad, 568 Views
My friend spent last Friday with her son. They laughed and planned for the future. He was going to graduate from OSU next month and was a being commissioned as an officer in the Air Force. On Monday, he left a note with instructions, called police and took his own life. No one knows why or understands what happened.

This is so sad. I'm crying as my heart goes out to my friend. We are all so vulnerable. Is there greater loss than that of your own child? And not to even understand the kind of pain he must have had that he couldn't reach out for help. Not to be able to give that help. Agony.

I just don't know what to say. I'm at a loss for words.
14 Comments
From the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying May 5, 2008 11:07 pm
Mood: contemplative, 480 Views
1) I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost....I am hopeless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

2) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I'm in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a ling time to get out.

3) I walk down the same street
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in....it's a habit
My eyes are open
I know where I am
It is MY fault
I get out immediately.

4) I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

5) I walk down another street.
10 Comments
Winnie the Pooh May 2, 2008 11:29 pm
Mood: bouncy, 302 Views
Took the grand kids to the theater tonight to see a live performance of Winnie the Pooh. All girls, 4 year old twins and a 6 year old. They were mesmerized by it. I was mesmerized by them! It was so much fun watching them process the performance. And all the squeals, hollers and screeches from the kids in the audience made me laugh. Nothing better for the soul than spending time with little kids. Oh, make that a short time!!

Winnie the Pooh reminded me of me. Walking around trying to remember all the things he has to do, all the projects and requests and in which order they belong. He is always trying to figure it out, often looking a bit confused. Hmmm, so familiar!

Fun and interesting evening.
3 Comments
House Manager May 1, 2008 11:22 pm
Mood: annoyed, 288 Views
I'm house manager for the current run at the local theatre. That means I manage the volunteers who run the box office, ushers who take tickets, tend the wine bar and the concession stand. 3 of the volunteers finally showed up a half hour late and two didn't show up at all! What were they thinking? Did they think things would just get done by itself? I can't believe how thoughtless some people can be.

We ended up going to a couple of college students who had already paid for their tickets and ask them if they would be willing to volunteer to help out and we would refund their ticket price. They got to see the show for free. This is a non-profit, so these no show volunteers ended up costing the organization money.

I wonder why people ignore or are so nonchalant about the commitments they've made?
5 Comments
It's Been Awhile May 1, 2008 7:32 am
Mood: cheerful, 258 Views
Well, I'm back which really means I'm feeling better and open again.

When I'm not feeling good, I guess I tend to go hide and hibernate. But I refuse to be held down too long by anything!

Over the last year or two, without going into details, I've had some medical issues that have now been resolved. YEA!!! And, thank goodness.

I have kept most of the weight off that I lost. I still have about 20 pounds to loose. I'm working hard at my full time job and am working to start a tiny part time, home based business too.

Life is really good and I feel so lucky.

I am only missing the tenderness, the hugs and the challenges of a man in my life. So guys, the door is open, stop by for a visit. I'll put the coffee or sun tea on!
2 Comments
Lazy Sunday Afternoon Dec 31, 2006 3:28 pm
Mood: calm, 547 Views
It's a lazy Sunday afternoon and I am puttering around the house, listening to New Orleans jazz. Just the kind of day to rejuvenate a soul and clear the clutter and cobwebs out of the head! I like it!

I keep thinking about the patterns in life that keep repeating and why that is. Where did they start? What set them off? Until I can uncover the origin of a pattern, can I change the pattern or the repetitive behavior? This is much more difficult than it would seem. Very hard to identify the beginning of something that seems to have always been.

Well, off to do laundry....
5 Comments
And So I Thought Dec 28, 2006 8:16 pm
Mood: sad, 570 Views
He was my missing piece for what, 60-90 days? Oh the promises, the hopes, the dreams. Then came the differences, oh my, the differences. Like trying fit the square peg in the round hole....I am not willing to settle any more. I am not that desperate no matter what the attraction. I like my life as it is but I am sad. So disappointed. So sad.
6 Comments
AH HA!! Oct 10, 2006 7:40 am
Mood: amused, 510 Views
In the beginning, especially, the price of giving great love, is risking that it won't be returned.

Until you understand, of course, that great love is always returned.

With interest.

Actually, nothing you might ever give, isn't one day returned, and far more.

tut.com
3 Comments
So far so good! Oct 7, 2006 8:19 pm
Mood: hopeful, 465 Views
It's been 5 months and yes, I have kept it off. In fact have lost a few more lbs. 35 so far. Would like to lose even more and am working on it, though a bit slower. That's okay though. I am happy with where I'm at now.

Ladies and gents, let me tell you, if there is any hope at all for you to lose weight, DO IT NOW!! Of course, only if you need to!!

It has made such a difference. I am sleeping better, my back doesn't hurt, blood pressure is now normal, headaches have stopped, I have more energy and feel better all around.

Go find a program and the support that will work for you. Make it drastic or not. Just do it. Live longer, healthier and happier.

Love and hugs to all.
2 Comments
Feeling Thin Aug 31, 2006 8:19 am
Mood: ecstatic, 639 Views
I just realized this morning when I looked in the mirror that I am looking thin! Better yet, I am feeling thin!! I'll tell you that not much gets better than that. I have a new confidence too.

I have lost 30 pounds in the last 3 months. I knew I would find the skinny me and today I did.

Yeah!
16 Comments
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