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Blogs > krystal4est > welcome to my


krystal4est 68M
163 posts
5/24/2016 10:08 am
the odds were 50 50 at best

NINETY DAYS TODAY !!!
started with a promise to myself, not to be broken. irrevocably committed to the first month.
that was all I could promise, then
kept it to one month promises to myself, and here I am.
90 freaking days, poppy product free.
what sucks is the promises have to be renewed, today is the end of the last 30 day promised period.
my rx for oc is still legal and refilled, and untouched.
will need, have to slake the return.
giving myself two days a week, for temporary relief and allow me to function at a higher rate.
this is a big, big decision.
will give this melon on my shoulders until the end of the month.
consolidate a new program, manageable, never again to be controlled by substance. that statement is, sadly, contradictory. the reality is the substance does not do away. it is going to be part of this existence forever.
it will be in stark contrast to what would be ideal.
instead of ideal, it will be, I deal,
24/7, but in a more healthy, sustainable, maintainable existence.
it is this path or, guess I have to say, to be continued, kind of stupid, but it is what it is.
the first real, real step forward was today, it feels, have to keep that feeling, good, relatively.



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