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DOES IT BOTHER YOU WHEN YOUR PARTNER TALKS ABOUT THEIR EX? I think we all do it at some point. We're with our current partner and we bring up an ex. I have to admit that sometimes I ask questions about my boyfriend's ex. Probably not a great thing to do. I didn't know it bothered my boyfriend when my ex was brought up, but we once had a disagreement and he said he wasn't happy about it. I have tried to be more careful. Does it bother you when an ex is brought up by your current partner?  Elaine Shuel |
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Not sure really. From memory most ex's rarely spoke about former lovers and/or partners except in passing conversation, ditto self - I guess it depends (in part) on nature of questions asked re past relationships, what disturbs/upsets (?).
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Since I am no longer with a current partner, nope, doesn't bother me. My last somewhat of a boyfriend always brought his ex up, he actually told me he still loved her. I was happy to hear that and told him he needs to start dating her again. You should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless!! I never went out with him again, and no, his ex wouldn't take him back either!! 
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Not sure really. From memory most ex's rarely spoke about former lovers and/or partners except in passing conversation, ditto self - I guess it depends (in part) on nature of questions asked re past relationships, what disturbs/upsets (?). That sounds like the way it should be.Elaine Shuel
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Since I am no longer with a current partner, nope, doesn't bother me. My last somewhat of a boyfriend always brought his ex up, he actually told me he still loved her. I was happy to hear that and told him he needs to start dating her again. You should have seen the look on his face, it was priceless!! I never went out with him again, and no, his ex wouldn't take him back either!!  Thanks for your comment.Elaine Shuel
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It's good that Joe has that attitude. Some spouses wouldn't. You seem to be very happy and I enjoyed seeing your bash pics, Pat. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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That sounds fair, pink. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Elaine I haven't had an X in a long time. The last steady B/F I had he was in touch with all his X-girlfriends. He would make a point of getting together with them periodically. I found that a bit weird. I guess the bottom line on that was he parted amicably with all of them. I don't recall discussing any of my X's prior to him. I guess I just found it bad manners to do that.
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It sounds like you and your husband are on the same page. You've both loved and lost. In my case, my boyfriend's fiance died before they had a chance to get married. It was young love and I think that makes it even more difficult. You can't compete with a ghost. It's not that he expects me to compete but I found that hard from the start. He also has an ex girlfriend. She would be the one that I'd refer to as an ex, along with my ex boyfriend. An ex is someone who you or they chose to end things. A deceased partner is a different matter. Elaine Shuel
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Elaine I haven't had an X in a long time. The last steady B/F I had he was in touch with all his X-girlfriends. He would make a point of getting together with them periodically. I found that a bit weird. I guess the bottom line on that was he parted amicably with all of them. I don't recall discussing any of my X's prior to him. I guess I just found it bad manners to do that. Elaine Shuel
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Humm Only when I find out they haven't divorced them LOL  Thanks for the laugh.Elaine Shuel
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No it does not, however, I didn't appreciate some things that were said to me about my ex. Perhaps I set myself up for that, but I feel its my place, not someone else's, to cope with the frustrations and hurt and still find balance with what was good or fair. I feel I deserve respect, compassion and latitude to handle that relationship appropriately, and even based on a need if I feel compelled to help with something for example. Anything less than that is clearly controlling and very presumptuous. I'll go as far as to say that I would rather live the rest of my life alone than be in a situation where I cannot be allowed the free will to handle a former relationship they way I feel I need to. A new relationship is just that new...clean slate, cope with the past as each person in the relationship feels they need to cope with it and give your new partner that reassurance that you respect and understand. Controlling people are the worst...if you fail to nurture, its your fault when a relationship fails. I think that it's best to resolve things with an ex before finding a new relationship or there could be lingering feelings. If you jump into a new relationship and still want the ex, there would be issues.Elaine Shuel
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That is quite unusual, as far as your last boyfriend getting together with his ex girlfriends regularly. Keeping in touch once in awhile on the phone isn't as surprising. Anyhow, I assume you keep in touch with him and see each other periodically. I think in a long term relationship, things are bound to come up about a deceased/ex partner. If it comes up too often, that would cause problems.
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Elaine no I don't keep in touch as he passed away a few years ago. Up until h passed away I was in touch with him so yes I was included with the rest of his X's for him to keep in touch.  Thanks for your comment, Shartaun03.Elaine Shuel
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That's good, Helen. You must be a very secure person. Elaine Shuel
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