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HOUSEHOLD CHORES - A WOMAN'S JOB? I was quite surprised several years ago. My uncle and aunt stayed at our house for a visit and she did everything for him. She waited on him hand and foot and I was disgusted. Now in all fairness, it did seem to work for them. She seemed happy taking care of him and he seemed happy being pampered. My dad, on the other hand, always helped my mom. He definitely did his half and she did hers. I guess that's why I believe that each should do their fair share. What do you think ?       Elaine Shuel |
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Thanks for your response, MySeek. I can see how that can happen when one is working and the other isn't. i know couples where both work and the woman is still left to do all the housework and take care of the kids.Elaine Shuel
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4/20/2015 12:21 pm |
My late husband and I had a discussion when we started living together. While either of us could do any of the chores, we determined who could do what best and divided them accordingly. That is how I was the one who put on a coverall, covered my hair and crawled under the house when that was needed. I was a foot shorter and 100 pounds lighter and the space was tight. We shared most large projects. He helped with major cleaning projects and I helped with repair jobs. We did things like painting and reroofing the house together. We both had careers so had plenty of "cross over" when one or the other needed to be away from home or work extra. The only thing we did not have some cross over with was cooking. He could manage but after a few of his efforts the kids would beg me not to let him cook so we resorted to fast food and take out when I did not cook. Spiritwoman ^i^
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I'd like to think that Maggie, but the couples I know, haven't had that experience. It's possible in the newer generation, that is the case. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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That's good timing, Pat. It seems you've had it both ways, doing almost all the work and other times, not so much. Yes times have changed and that's a good thing.  Elaine Shuel
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My late husband and I had a discussion when we started living together. While either of us could do any of the chores, we determined who could do what best and divided them accordingly. That is how I was the one who put on a coverall, covered my hair and crawled under the house when that was needed. I was a foot shorter and 100 pounds lighter and the space was tight. We shared most large projects. He helped with major cleaning projects and I helped with repair jobs. We did things like painting and reroofing the house together. We both had careers so had plenty of "cross over" when one or the other needed to be away from home or work extra. The only thing we did not have some cross over with was cooking. He could manage but after a few of his efforts the kids would beg me not to let him cook so we resorted to fast food and take out when I did not cook. Thanks for responding to my post.Elaine Shuel
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I definitely agree about taking out the garbage. It sounds like you and Liszt have everything worked out well. That's good. Thanks for your comment, Maisie. Elaine Shuel
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That could mean there is no woman at your house or you do all the work for both of you. Thanks for your comment, _JKH54. Elaine Shuel
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The truth is, if it works for a couple, with BOTH members happy with the way things are, it's fine. It's when one gets saddled with all the work and the other is free as a breeze, there's an issue. I'm glad it works for your children and spouses Lulu. Thanks for the comment. Elaine Shuel
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Daniel loves to clean lol-- I do when I'm at the farm but since I don't live there very much it becomes his job  It's great that you and Daniel have things worked out that both of you are happy. Ultimately, that's what matters. Thanks for your comment.Elaine Shuel
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spiritwoman said: "The only thing we did not have some cross over with was cooking. He could manage but after a few of his efforts the kids would beg me not to let him cook so we resorted to fast food and take out when I did not cook." I had to relate and laugh at that one! First fight with wife some 30 yrs ago was over whether to add laundry soap before or after the clothes. Been doing my own laundry for over 40 yrs.... soap first I say!
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spiritwoman said: "The only thing we did not have some cross over with was cooking. He could manage but after a few of his efforts the kids would beg me not to let him cook so we resorted to fast food and take out when I did not cook." I had to relate and laugh at that one! First fight with wife some 30 yrs ago was over whether to add laundry soap before or after the clothes. Been doing my own laundry for over 40 yrs.... soap first I say! Thanks for the cute comment.Elaine Shuel
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Elaine when I was growing up my dad didn't do any housework as there was so much to do outside living on a farm. My mother helped outside as well. That is the way it was in those days. When my youngest brother was born in 1950 my dad was baking bread when my mom was in the hospital with my youngest brother. That is the only time I recall my dad doing any cooking. No doubt he did the washing of clothes as well. This post reminds me of a cousin who always says any kind of housework or cooking is woman's work. His wife waits on him hand and foot. I don't agree with that at all.
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Thanks for that comment, Shartaun03. No offense, but I truly dislike guys that say that about women. It's those guys who don't want a wife. They want a live-in maid. Elaine Shuel
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I have been single for so long that I don't know how that's supposed to work anymore, lol, but when I was married, I did the inside work, he did the yard work. If I knew then what I know now, I would have gladly changed places with him. I do all the work now, inside and out, and had a full time job, and have been doing this for, I think around 28 years. Which only proves I wasn't the one who got the house dirty, lol.
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It must be hard to do the inside and outside work, but I'm not surprised that you're up to the task, Rae. Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Thanks for that comment, Shartaun03. No offense, but I truly dislike guys that say that about women. It's those guys who don't want a wife. They want a live-in maid.
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Sounds like you and Ray have things worked out. That's great, Lyn. Thanks very much for your response to my post. Elaine Shuel
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I brought up 3 daughters as a single dad, they were about 10, 8 and 5 years old when their mother and I split. Worked a full time job, came home and cooked etc, wont bore you with details. I could say a man's work is never done.... Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
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I brought up 3 daughters as a single dad, they were about 10, 8 and 5 years old when their mother and I split. Worked a full time job, came home and cooked etc, wont bore you with details. I could say a man's work is never done.... Well done! Thanks for your comment. Elaine Shuel
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I was married for 20 years. I did all the house work. He took care of the yard and the cars. When he was in the house I waited on him, and took care of him. Not sure what that marriage was about. It was many years ago and as I think back to it -- It seems to me-- it was all about him and what he wanted. God only knows I think what it boils down to is, were you happy? If it was all about him and your needs were ignored, obviously that isn't good. IF someone is happy waiting on somebody else and the pampered person is happy (why wouldn't they be? lol) it's fine. If one party resents the other, it isn't a healthy relationship.Elaine Shuel
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Thanks Helen. I agree with your comment. Elaine Shuel
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Welcome to my blog, danny, and to the site. I hope you'll enjoy it. Feel free to give comments on posts that interest you. Elaine Shuel
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Living alone does simplify who does what. Thanks for your comment, Bill. Elaine Shuel
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