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Are you looking to get married? "Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a and carriage" is the old song. How true is it? I'm 56 and I've never been married. I've thought about it and been asked but haven't taken the plunge. At this point, it's unlikely I will marry. My boyfriend and I will be together 9 years as of this coming week. We don't live together. I'm kind of traditional in that way. I don't judge those that live together but it isn't for me. We do love each other very much. We both would have liked to have chldren with each other but it's too late. That darn biological clock. At this time in your lives, what are you looking for? Elaine Shuel |
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Sounds like you're happier single, Bill. Nothing wrong with that.  Elaine Shuel
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I've asked myself that same question a hundred times. Nope, I won't ever marry again, nor will I live with anyone. Friendship, or a companion, someone to hang out with, no problem!
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I am but it would take an extraordinary set of circumstances for me to find peace in such a decision. That doesn't mean I feel peaceful now. Elaine Shuel
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I've asked myself that same question a hundred times. Nope, I won't ever marry again, nor will I live with anyone. Friendship, or a companion, someone to hang out with, no problem! Elaine Shuel
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I don't really think about being married or being single any more. I think people need to be happy with "themselves" When you're happy with yourself -- then you live your life and whatever comes with it. I will admit it -- I have moments it's hard to be apart from Doug. My "marriage" cost me tens of thousands to get out of and too much physical and emotional distress. For what? A piece of paper? An attorney who was legally able to extort me? If you're not happy where you are at -- you won't be happy when you get there. I think a better option is to go to court and get your last name changed to the same as theirs-- when it's over-- change it back-- that only costs $350.  The name changing gave me a laugh. What your wrote about happiness is so right. Some people get married for the wrong reasons.Elaine Shuel
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Great point, Pat. You may think you don't want to get married and suddenly things change. George Clooney is the perfect example. Elaine Shuel
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2/26/2015 9:44 pm |
Did that a couple of times, although my belief system does not encourages it. The first time was back in the 60's and I caved to social pressure. When I got out of that one I vowed never again but it was very important to my second husband so I married him. We would still be together but he passed at a young age. Would I do I again? I don't think so because it would cost me financially, I am almost 70 and I have a disabled son who will be dependent for the rest of my life. In addition to putting up with me a protective husband would have to take on these challenges and obligations. Now what same man would do that? Spiritwoman ^i^
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2/27/2015 3:44 am |
Hi Elaine: No I'm not looking for marriage. I have been married twice already and two divorces. I didn't take either of my husbands' last names. About all I could handle at this point in my life is a man to go for dinner with occasionally (if he ate quietly) and maybe the odd phone call, so for me dating is over.
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Ann and I have been together for nearly eight years now. We are happy together and currently have no intention of getting married. Alfie...
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I'm already happily married and have been for the last forty three years so the question doesn't apply to me. A lot of people on this site have been married several times or in and out of many long term relationships. Interesting blog Elaine
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Did that a couple of times, although my belief system does not encourages it. The first time was back in the 60's and I caved to social pressure. When I got out of that one I vowed never again but it was very important to my second husband so I married him. We would still be together but he passed at a young age. Would I do I again? I don't think so because it would cost me financially, I am almost 70 and I have a disabled son who will be dependent for the rest of my life. In addition to putting up with me a protective husband would have to take on these challenges and obligations. Now what same man would do that? Elaine Shuel
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Hi Elaine: No I'm not looking for marriage. I have been married twice already and two divorces. I didn't take either of my husbands' last names. About all I could handle at this point in my life is a man to go for dinner with occasionally (if he ate quietly) and maybe the odd phone call, so for me dating is over. Elaine Shuel
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Ann and I have been together for nearly eight years now. We are happy together and currently have no intention of getting married. Alfie... Elaine Shuel
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Well I think if you do some research it is pretty easy to see why marriages and relationships fail. There is no tolerance for personhood and there is even less patience. I am a very patient person. While none of us are perfect, I never lose my gratitude for the awe inspiring act of grace of God. It compels me to be not only open to forgiveness, but eager to participate in such an opportunity. I would suggest that this is in very short supply. I'm sad to say that my own marriage failed after many years. I know I'm not the only one to feel that pain, but I just did not anticipate how I would feel after divorce. I don't deny that a certain liberation is felt, but there is deep regret that I just wasn't able to deliver as the peacemaker from A-Z. I have studied forgiveness in depth, not only biblically, but psychologically as well. I grasp the opportunity it presents to someone wronged. It's not that I invite wrong, but I can't tell you how fulfilling I've discovered being able to forgive actually is. It is much more than for oneself. It honors God, and the rewards are overwhelming. As such, I would be hesitant to engage with someone who does not instinctively grasp such will. Personhood is not something I seek to manufacture, it is something I NEED to experience unimpeded. You don't 'search' for this, you discover it. You do that by both leading, AND following. Elaine Shuel
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I'm already happily married and have been for the last forty three years so the question doesn't apply to me. A lot of people on this site have been married several times or in and out of many long term relationships. Interesting blog Elaine Elaine Shuel
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3/3/2015 11:20 am |
As they say in the JDL "Never again".
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As they say in the JDL "Never again". Elaine Shuel
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