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Does It Really Matter? Responding to another blog brought up some thoughts about what we fuss about vs what really matters. I realize my view is tainted because my life’s work means getting up close and personal with major life issues on a regular basis so do not expect most to see things from the same perspective. There are 2 or 3 regulars here who have had the same life experiences. I know they will understand what I mean. Today I wondered why there is ongoing fuss about multiple handles? True, this is a deception of sorts but doesn’t an anonymous forum encourage such deception? My thought is what is said is said and other than Elaine none of us sign our true names or even a professional name to our posts. In the end we will agree, disagree or not care about what is said. Should the handle attached to it make any difference? The practice is deceptive at best and a con game at worse. However, are many of us planning relationship with the “suspects” that might make the deception an issue? Might be amusing though to throw a party, invite those in question and see who shows up. Imagining this really stimulates my wild imagination. I agree that if someone does use multiple handles to have a conversation with themselves it’s pretty dysfunctional but does that make any difference about how we feel about what was said in the post? I suppose if anyone is really interested in who is at the top of the list of views and comments it might make a difference to them but how many of us care about that? I cannot imagine having so much time on my hands or if I did using it to have my fantasy selves carry on a conversation with each other in a public forum. Some express concern that alternative handles enables those who we have banned to access our posts. I have no issue with anyone reading my blogs. The only reason I ban anyone is to prevent them from posting comments that are personal attacks on me or others. If an alternative handle makes these sort of comments I would ban them too (and probably have no problem knowing who commentor really was). My final thought on this matter is that I have made many friends here and they are consistently who they are. I remain her because I enjoy our interaction. As for the others, my comments on anything they post is a reflection of what I want to say about the content of the post not it’s author. My thoughts would be the same no matter who make the statement. I’d be interested on what others may have to add. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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It's my pen name that I have posted here, Spirit, just to be clear. I have wondered how members know about multiple handles here. I'm just curious. How are they sure it's not different people? For example, my understanding is Leaf and Mitee are the same. Leaf has often written on my blogs and has always been polite and decent. Mitee only wrote a couple of times and again, nothing that was upsetting. How is anyone sure they are one and the same? The only issue that I would have with multiple handles is if there was a dispute and I was being ganged up on. If one person said something and I said something different, that would have a different reaction than if 5 people all stood up against what I said. Basically it would appear that the opposing view has allies and would add to their credibility dishonestly. I can see how that could be an issue. That's just my opinion. Elaine Shuel
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For the record, Elaine is my real first name. It's my last name that differs from my pen name. Elaine Shuel
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I agree. It's just never been a big deal to me. GBU, Gavin
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4/3/2015 3:26 am |
Hi Spirit: Once I had experienced serious life and death issues first hand, no piddly issues in SFF bother me anymore. I can't possibly give any importance whatsoever to what is being written in our blogs or by whom. All I know is that all of us here (except a few young scammers) are getting old and anything can happen to any of us at any time. We need to be helping each other through this last leg of our journey, not making it more difficult for people.
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It's my pen name that I have posted here, Spirit, just to be clear. I have wondered how members know about multiple handles here. I'm just curious. How are they sure it's not different people? For example, my understanding is Leaf and Mitee are the same. Leaf has often written on my blogs and has always been polite and decent. Mitee only wrote a couple of times and again, nothing that was upsetting. How is anyone sure they are one and the same? The only issue that I would have with multiple handles is if there was a dispute and I was being ganged up on. If one person said something and I said something different, that would have a different reaction than if 5 people all stood up against what I said. Basically it would appear that the opposing view has allies and would add to their credibility dishonestly. I can see how that could be an issue. That's just my opinion. I assure you that Leafy is not Mitee as they had been saying. As you can see how things are here, needless to say anything. Sincerely, Betty Very nice blog Spirit as usual! "The only way to have a friend is to be one."
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I don't mind anyone knowing my real Christian name and where I live, but I wouldn't consider releasing much more than that. Alfie...
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Good morning Elaine! I assure you that Leafy is not Mitee as they had been saying. As you can see how things are here, needless to say anything. Sincerely, Betty Very nice blog Spirit as usual! Have a nice weekend, Betty.  Elaine Shuel
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4/3/2015 10:14 am |
It's my pen name that I have posted here, Spirit, just to be clear. I have wondered how members know about multiple handles here. I'm just curious. How are they sure it's not different people? For example, my understanding is Leaf and Mitee are the same. Leaf has often written on my blogs and has always been polite and decent. Mitee only wrote a couple of times and again, nothing that was upsetting. How is anyone sure they are one and the same? The only issue that I would have with multiple handles is if there was a dispute and I was being ganged up on. If one person said something and I said something different, that would have a different reaction than if 5 people all stood up against what I said. Basically it would appear that the opposing view has allies and would add to their credibility dishonestly. I can see how that could be an issue. That's just my opinion. My experience with Leaf and Mitee is the same as yours. I'll probably be stoned for this but all of the "problems" with them were the result of others insulting them and harassing them because they knew they would eventually get the reactions they did. They accuse others of being "cluckers" when they behave like a flock of chickens with cannibalism ( it's a real disease or problem that chickens get ). Unfortunately such is human nature. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:15 am |
I agree. It's just never been a big deal to me. GBU, Gavin Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:21 am |
Hi Spirit: Once I had experienced serious life and death issues first hand, no piddly issues in SFF bother me anymore. I can't possibly give any importance whatsoever to what is being written in our blogs or by whom. All I know is that all of us here (except a few young scammers) are getting old and anything can happen to any of us at any time. We need to be helping each other through this last leg of our journey, not making it more difficult for people. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:25 am |
Good morning Elaine! I assure you that Leafy is not Mitee as they had been saying. As you can see how things are here, needless to say anything. Sincerely, Betty Very nice blog Spirit as usual! Have a peaceful Easter. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:36 am |
It's fun bantering back and forth but it's the Internet -- dosent affect my life in the real world at all Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:51 am |
See my response to Patches about bantering. As for changing gender, I've always found it interesting. We all have masculine and feminine aspects of our personalities. (note I said personality not sexuality). A healthy person achieves balance of the 2. Perhaps changing handle gender is a way of allowing the opposite to express itself in situations where an individual can not accept that part of their personality. Personally I add soul to the equation. The soul is gender neutral. When we operate from a soul level we can be either. Some of the classic authors wrote under a pen name of the opposite sex. But back to SSF where many do not function at this level. I think the major reason for opposite gender handles is far less lofty. It's likely done to perpetuate deception. . Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 10:58 am |
I don't mind anyone knowing my real Christian name and where I live, but I wouldn't consider releasing much more than that. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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Liszt, I urged you all to give your FIRST names not last. My real first name is Elaine. I don't ask anyone to do anything that I wouldn't do. Elaine Shuel
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"What's your first name?" is the post you referred to. I believe it was quite clear that I only wanted first names. Elaine Shuel
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4/3/2015 11:22 am |
It has been said that there is no honor among thieves. I agree with you about it being an abuse of the honor system but dishonorable and dysfunctional people will always find a way. Unfortunately we live in social / political system that encourages and even rewards this. This small pond called SSF is but a reflection of this. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 4:07 pm |
By the way I'm not the one who came up with the clucker name -- I think it was JK -- could be wrong on that!! Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 4:25 pm |
I'm sure it does. Much like the on line gamers avatar. Back on the 70's and 80's when into cb radio it was exactly the same. I remember explaining to someone that a person's handle was an alter ego, that many people, created a fantasy character that was everything they weren't but wanted to be. We had a group of women who gathered on a specific channel at the same time every night for the equivalent of chat. We were called "The Chicken Heads", because we talked about things from a woman's perspective. Maybe we were the fore runners of Cluckers. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 4:37 pm |
By the way, this like other comments, you have shared with me from time to time, are wonderful examples of how to disagree without insult. I actually look forward to your disagreeing because often beings out additional information or thoughts. Thanks you. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 8:31 pm |
Mine either but I think that attracting those who enjoy the deception game is one of the negatives of any anonymous dating site. I keep saying I have met many great folks here, which is true. However you would not believe how many deceptive creeps I have met for a "first date". Sometimes I though I was on the job still. If it's hard to believe that people play the deception game in blogs you would not believe what they think you will still believe in person. I hate to be negative so I just move on remembering you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince. The weirdest was a guy who lied about his age as if I wouldn't know when I saw him. Worse yet he had a wife he neglected to tell me about and she got his phone and tracked me down. Made me glad I lived with 6' 3" 250 pound son, 3 very large dogs and a shot gun. Actually she was no threat. I felt very bad for her and ended up comforting her. This experience made me so thankful I wasn't her and appreciate being single. Another literally leave me of the runway. One who had everything he owned in his car. A hoarder wanted me to move in and a few who wanted to move on with me immediately. Then there was the guy who wanted me to move to Colorado and tried to convince me it didn't snow there even after he knew I had a sister living in Grand Junction. Multiple handles don't hold a candle to them. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 11:25 pm |
I was a long time ago-- accused of having multiple handles. The truth is-- I have had.  It's because when I quit the site they won't let me have my same handle-- so I come back as SpunkyLady with a different number at the end. LOL The member was acting like I had different handles-- like I was being deceitful to all of you  I am who I am and I don't care who knows me. My name is Suellen Zapatka aka SpunkyLady  Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 11:28 pm |
Ah - but doesn't it make life interesting? Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 11:32 pm |
Definitely the behavior, which is always the same regardless of the handle. A rose by any other name........... or in some cases a by any other name........ Like you many of us can say I ams what I ams. It makes life so much easier. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/3/2015 11:38 pm |
Good point. and even in the rare event that someone is clear about their issues, needs sensitivities and expectations it is unreasonable to think that others would able or interested in meeting those needs. The only thing we can count on is that at this point in life everyone is dealing with something. Spiritwoman ^i^
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