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Lost One Today About a year and a half ago I did a blog about one of my residents, a woman in her late 50's. She had been battling alcoholism unsuccessfully for years. She was in and out a variety of recovery programs but always relapsed. Her health was severely compromised. She came my way via a relative who belonged to a local service organization that was helping this woman. She was my first official resident other than my and the spark that kicked off my housing project. By the time I wrote about her she was on permanent disability. Her health deteriorated and she was in end stage liver failure. The blog was about my decision to allow her to live out her last days in a safe, clean environment. She was aware of her situation but could or would not stop drinking. My feelings and those of the people from the organization helping her were that there was no real benefit to insist on sobriety. At her stage of the disease the average survival time was not good , 3 - 6 months. The damage was done so if she chose to spend her final days finding comfort in her alcohol she should be allowed to do so. She survived for around 20 months. During this time she had all of the complications that come with end stage liver disease, including falls and accidents due to declining physical and mental function. 8 months ago she fell getting out of a taxi and sustained a complex shoulder and arm fracture. The hardware used to repair this came loose and she was waiting for approval to fix it. About 6 weeks ago she spilled hot water on herself and had a severe burn. She was not suppose to be cooking but wandered into the kitchen while everyone else was asleep in spite of the fact that a friend stayed with her most of the time and another resident assisted her. A little over a week ago she and her friend were visiting his uncle. She got up in the middle of the night and fell in the bathroom breaking her leg and hip. The rest of her systems were severely compromised and she "died" during emergency surgery. They brought her back but she never regained consciousness. Today her power of attorney had to make the difficult decision and she was taken off life support. The expectation is that she will not make it through the night. No matter how long the end was delayed it is a very sad thing. It is hard on the other residents. They are a family. Granted, an extremely dysfunctional one but dysfunctional families and people love too. Since they all have issues of their own I know they know they are getting a glimpse of their own futures. Me? I have satisfaction knowing this woman spent her end time on her terms rather than in an institution or on the street . I was able to make a difference for at least 1 person. There is a reasonable peace knowing she is no longer in pain but it is accompanied by the sadness of seeing the end of a life with so many wasted years. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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I am sadden to read this spirit. I am sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. Betty "The only way to have a friend is to be one."
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I understand both sides. I've used alcohol to 'self medicate' and I've been saddened by addictions of others, also tried to help those with problems, even though I guess I've never full addressed my own. I've helped to the end several friends with cancer. Your work is in a compassionate area. I admire people who help others. Carers who 'truly care' have my utmost respect. I know a few good carers, and each time they 'lose one' it tears their heart. I'm moved by their stories, I'm not strong enough to do that kind of work continuously. Bless you for caring and sharing. Judgment Day will be interesting - and all paths lead there.
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God Bless her! Her suffering is now over. You will be blessed for helping her and at least trying to help others.
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Sad story Spirit, but a least her suffering is now behind her and she is at peace. Alfie...
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4/1/2015 10:55 am |
I am sadden to read this spirit. I am sorry for your loss. May she rest in peace. Betty Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:03 am |
Never thought a out the rigors of withdrawal. I have seen a few otherwise healthy young people go through this and it is brutal, eve. It was far worse than most of the drug withdrawals I have seen. Yet another reason for not forcing or even recommending sobriety for those like my resident. Medical issues aside why force someone nearing the end of life to deal with the issues that prompted the alcoholism. To what end? Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:13 am |
I understand both sides. I've used alcohol to 'self medicate' and I've been saddened by addictions of others, also tried to help those with problems, even though I guess I've never full addressed my own. I've helped to the end several friends with cancer. Your work is in a compassionate area. I admire people who help others. Carers who 'truly care' have my utmost respect. I know a few good carers, and each time they 'lose one' it tears their heart. I'm moved by their stories, I'm not strong enough to do that kind of work continuously. Bless you for caring and sharing. I doubt that I could do what I have done all my life without a strong spirituality. No, I am not a Christian (many of them would choose to burn me at the stake) but contrary to what many here believe and profess there are other belief systems that work better for some of us. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:15 am |
God Bless her! Her suffering is now over. You will be blessed for helping her and at least trying to help others. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:21 am |
Thank you. Prayers appreciated. Yes, everyone can help someone. That why I occasionally get frustrated enough with the political preachers, pull the duct tape off my mouth, and tell them to put their money where their mouth is, get out from behind the computer, stop preaching to the audience they can bully and DO something to help make the world a better place. From my perspective it is such a huge amount of selfishly wasted energy. If put to use actually helping the world would indeed change for the better. Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:22 am |
Sad story Spirit, but a least her suffering is now behind her and she is at peace. Alfie... Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 11:35 am |
There are 5 at the moment but the number varies between 3 and 7. Doing what I do is part of my "assignment" for this lifetime. A Strega's life is one of service. We are channels for spirit. It is a privilege not to be lightly. I'll think of doing some posts here but usually hesitate since all they do is stir up the Ultra Conservative politicians and provide a forum for their no win verbal battles. When I get off my butt and start posting more often on my personal site I will let you know how to find it Spiritwoman ^i^
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4/1/2015 8:59 pm |
Thank you. Yes, the household and my extended family became her family. The unfortunate thing is that she has 2 daughters who live locally. They have young families so I understand them mot wanting the kids to see drunk grandma but the daughters could have visited her or at least called. Spiritwoman ^i^
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I'm sorry to hear of your resident's troubled life and passing Spirit. That you took her in was a blessing and I'm sure she deeply appreciated the security it afforded her as well as the opportunity to be amongst others in similar situation. Thank you for your kindness and generosity of heart, I am sure you are loved and remembered by many of those you have helped along the way :- )
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