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Would You Want to be 53? The vollies back and forth on the age issue the past few days got me to thinking. Is 53 and better than 63 or 73? I suppose that is a relative thing. I applied this thought to my own situation. At 53 I was struggling with career issues. My father was terminally passed that summer. I had 1 in college, one sort of in high school. I was home schooling her. My adopted was struggling trying to work. I had 2 unofficial foster girls. Money was tight and we had to re plumb the entire house. My in-laws in New Mexico were not doing well so there was a bit of running back and forth (800 miles). The happy part was that my husband was still healthy. 63 wasn’t bad. Both daughters were married and had of their own. The youngest, her husband and were living with me. It was one of the few years I was actually retired – not working at all. My husband had passed 6 years earlier but I had made it through the worst of the grief process. I was in a relationship and we were traveling all over the country participating in sports car rallies. I started making jewelry and designing clothing. I was able to buy a high performance sports car that was built just for me. I divided my time between my house and his in one of the Southern California beach communities. Now I’m pushing 70. I have a companion and many new friends and have time to spend with them. My art work and spiritual practice have both become established. My house is now a business and houses disabled adults. Helping my residents keeps my professional skills sharp. I live out in the country in an amazingly beautiful environment with a companion. My favorite sister is back in the area and we are consolidating / parceling out the family properties and she and I will end up with the family compound my father always wanted. Both of my daughters have houses only a few blocks apart, near my house in town and not more than 30 miles from where I am staying at the moment. While not affluent I have more disposable income than at any other time in my life. I get to go to Mexico every winter and Massachusetts ever summer. True, my arthritis is much worse and starting to limit my activities but I am otherwise healthy. I am still driving my sports car. So, everything considered I would much rather be old even if it means being seen as stupid. I haven’t lost my mental edge but love the latitude I get with respect to behavior and performance age brings. Time for me, Money for me and far fewer expectations. Now tell me why I would want to be 53? Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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Spirit.... well let's put it this way... I'm 68 (my late late hubby would have been 7 and I like this age but to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind being 10 years younger. Having said that, I know it's impossible so I'll continue being happy at this age!! 
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Spunky, I hear you, bravo!! 
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Nope, don't want to go backwards to 53, been there, done that. Forward is the only direction I'll be heading.
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Spirit, your comment "everything considered I would much rather be old even if it means being seen as stupid." made me sad. Who thinks that older people are stupid? Some are but they weren't bright before. It has nothing to do with age. I personally find older people more interesting. They have more experience and I love hearing their stories. I felt that when I was younger too, for the record. I try to be happy at whatever age I am.  Elaine Shuel
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I never understood why some women lie about their age. I never have and doubt I ever would. Elaine Shuel
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3/21/2015 11:24 pm |
There is a good explanation though. SSF has perfected time travel and accessing multiple time periods at the same time. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:31 pm |
The only age I ever struggled with was 27. Laughing it sounded old to me so at 26 I told everyone I was 27 thus I was 27 for 2 years.  My fifties were the hardest years of my life because I had to retire way too early -- I was in the middle of my prime and had to adjust to a whole new life. Today I cherish everything and take nothing for granted. Any person who worries about their age-- should become within a hair of losing their life. It's like losing one of you're senses-- go outside-- blindfold yourself and notice how you smell everything-- feel how touch is heightened. Life is like that also when you almost lose it. Every breath you take means more. Age is another day to rejoice in. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:33 pm |
Spirit.... well let's put it this way... I'm 68 (my late late hubby would have been 7 and I like this age but to be perfectly honest, I wouldn't mind being 10 years younger. Having said that, I know it's impossible so I'll continue being happy at this age!! Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:37 pm |
If we had happy marriages all us who became widows would likely want the time with our spouses back. Although in my case it would be selfish though as it would mean he would have to suffer through his illness. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:39 pm |
It is always good when we can be happy in the present. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:40 pm |
Oh yes I met a couple of those. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:41 pm |
Nope, don't want to go backwards to 53, been there, done that. Forward is the only direction I'll be heading. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:45 pm |
53 year olds , recently, appear immature and caustic...and not at all respectful of those here old enough to be their parents. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/21/2015 11:50 pm |
Spirit, your comment "everything considered I would much rather be old even if it means being seen as stupid." made me sad. Who thinks that older people are stupid? Some are but they weren't bright before. It has nothing to do with age. I personally find older people more interesting. They have more experience and I love hearing their stories. I felt that when I was younger too, for the record. I try to be happy at whatever age I am. Spiritwoman ^i^
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This form of ageism has been one of the sff insult categories of the week. It is nothing like that in my real life. I come from occupation and cultural backgrounds where age is considered an asset, where being an elder is an honor. It's wrong of anyone to put down someone for their age. In fact, it's ridiculous. We're all getting older or worse. Elaine Shuel
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Normal, sane and mature people accept the aging process. Those unfortunate ones who despise everyone and never have a kind word to say, well, they will always be stuck AT AGE 53 AND CONTINUE TO LIE AND DENY.
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3/22/2015 10:45 am |
Good point. In the real world I often have people tell me that they envy my current lifestyle and more than once have said something like "I want to be like you when I grow up." I reassure them that they can have the lifestyle they want if they do the work along the way. Doing the work includes the emotional work which, in my opinion, the toughest. No excuses, no whining and yes it will hurt but you still have to go through it if you expect to come out the other side. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/22/2015 10:50 am |
You are also one of us who defied the odds to get old. I suspect that like me and a good friend who was a professional motorcycle racer you were told more than once you would not see 30. Welcome to the club for those of who proved them wrong and still did the things we wanted along the way. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/22/2015 10:52 am |
I was taught to respect my elders. I haven't noticed those insults. If I see a post is nasty, I usually just leave it. It's wrong of anyone to put down someone for their age. In fact, it's ridiculous. We're all getting older or worse. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/22/2015 10:55 am |
And no excuse at 53. A big advantage of age is that we can play into the stereotypes and get away with far more than the middleagers, laughing all the way because we really know better. Spiritwoman ^i^
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3/22/2015 10:40 pm |
Yes, I would prefer to be 53 and yes, I know that it would be a replay of challenges and then the agonizing wait until retirement comes around again. I'm struggling with retirement. I don't like it. It's not a total loss, but I don't like thinking about death, ultimately, and I don't like the feeling, and its just a feeling, that the future is irrelevant now. Quite frankly, retirement reminds me of the way I felt in the first weeks and months following September 11th - that loss of innocence. I've been an activist all my life, and while there are still so many things that scream for attention Spirit, there's this nagging, tiresome drag, that even with the most compelling case, making a difference is now astonishingly hard. Even with enormous amounts of money, it is still unbelievably hard. It's not about a lack of effort or energy for it, its about obstruction regardless of the consequence. I would rather see people or organizations fail and still come away with the will and determination to try again than see hopes and dreams die because somebody goes out of their way to thwart you. Do you think you can understand this? I'm not sure whether this feeling is a byproduct of age or not. I fight the cynics with everything I've got but I have to tell you, there are a lot of damaged people out there. I sense the rise in cynical thinking is pushing society in directions we ought not go. It's not all bad of course. There is a lot going on in the world of technological innovation that will change culture. There is just a blatant lack of interest in moving forward together...whether its in a relationship, in business, internships, sports and especially public service. Perhaps I hadn't been beaten down enough at 53 yet, which is why I'd like to go back. Can't do that of course...and death lurks. I pray for peace...constantly. It's a great blog. You bring up the most interesting things. I believe you mentioned that you were involved in IT work. Maybe you could volunteer to help community service organizations with their computer systems. Volunteer at local schools to help in the computer lab. Maybe you could help write grants for service charities.. Make a list things you can and like to do, then look for places that can use them. Getting out and meeting like minded people will make you feel needed. Spiritwoman ^i^
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I have never had problem with my age. I think each stage of life has its own enchantment. The only thing I regret at this time is that, when I was 60, I didn't know anything about computers, internet, dating sites and all this stuff. Maybe I would have had the opportunity of finding a good man to share my life... But that is past time...I live the present as well as I can.  Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)
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3/29/2015 6:18 pm |
I guess age is relative. Good for you keeping active. That will definitely help keep you young. Spiritwoman ^i^
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