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spiritwoman45
22314 posts
1/20/2015 10:25 pm
Alone Time



For most of us it seems that we seem to be alone and wanting companionship or with others and wanting alone time. As a ager and young adult I vacillated between holing myself in my room so I wouldn’t have to interact with my large noisy family and wanting to be with friends. Then came the family years, all I wanted was time to myself – alone time. That seems to have passed quickly. My husband passed and I left my day job. Once most people retire they have considerably less interaction with other people. Not so for me. I had my , and 2 granddaughters living with me and I embarked on having the social life I had to ignore when I worked. After I moved out here things were far less hectic but I am still seldom alone. Being involved in my art means lots of time spent in solo work and in my own world but I am never really alone. There is usually someone else in the back ground at least. I love the mountains and rural setting but I find myself on the go and getting together with others more and more. I think of my grandmother and her sister. Both lived on farm and could go weeks at a time never being around others. My grandmother’s favorite saying was that she just wanted her cabin in the woods and her dog. My mother, on the other hand, did not know what to do with herself when she retired and went into town to the grocery store almost every day for something to do. My grandfather would take his daily trip to town, walk the length of main street and people watch, then buy his Italian Language newspaper and return home. He spent Sat. evenings at the “club” with his men friends and Sunday’s socializing at Church. My father never did retire even though he lived to be 79 and his home was always full of people of all ages. My former mother in law never worked outside of the home lived alone and kept to herself for years after her husband passed, as did her mother.

While no man (or woman) is an island, there appears to be a vast difference in need for solicitude and companionship. I see myself as somewhere the middle, needing a balance of active interaction with others and time to myself. How about you?


Spiritwoman ^i^


1gasilverhead2 83M
4003 posts
1/21/2015 3:11 am

Most of my "me" time is spent on one of my tractors. No one bothers me there; I am in my own element.

If the weather does not permit this I will drive over to another piece of property we own which has almost as beautiful view as we have at home. I just sit there a few minutes and enjoy God's creation.

I have a life long friend whom I visit and if I learn he is in his shop upon arrival I just tell a member of the family to tell him I will come back later. What I am really thinking he needed some "his" time.

.
The beginning of life, conception..


Hawkslayer 88M
13322 posts
1/21/2015 6:39 am

I think we all need a little time alone, and we all tend to get it in differing ways. Speaking for myself, I like to get out in the yard doing things that need doing, or spend time in the shed working on a project. But later I like to get together with Ann and enjoy that time too.

Alfie...


It only takes a drop of ink to make a million people think. There are many stories.


Abelle2 83F
31222 posts
1/21/2015 6:52 am

    Quoting Hawkslayer:
    I think we all need a little time alone, and we all tend to get it in differing ways. Speaking for myself, I like to get out in the yard doing things that need doing, or spend time in the shed working on a project. But later I like to get together with Ann and enjoy that time too.

    Alfie...
Your shed time project is a farce...you have been sent there for a misdemeanor or flat out "screw up"

Our time together, even if it is you downstairs and me upstairs and knowing we are together. Enough for me!!!


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:03 am

    Quoting  :

Not sure us dog people are ever alone. While all I have for a constant companion at the moment is a cat I think I "humanize" him and his companionship is almost like having a human around.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:05 am

    Quoting  :

Funny how views on what alone is differ. I go "browse" stores when I want to be around lots of people. When I really need to be completely alone I "head for the hills'.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:08 am

    Quoting 1gasilverhead2:
    Most of my "me" time is spent on one of my tractors. No one bothers me there; I am in my own element.

    If the weather does not permit this I will drive over to another piece of property we own which has almost as beautiful view as we have at home. I just sit there a few minutes and enjoy God's creation.

    I have a life long friend whom I visit and if I learn he is in his shop upon arrival I just tell a member of the family to tell him I will come back later. What I am really thinking he needed some "his" time.
I haven't been on an actual tractor in a long time but that is a good way to be alone with your thoughts. I remember when I had the family at home and a job that involved being with lots of people all day. My commute was my me time, just being in the car by myself.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:11 am

    Quoting  :

Social media is a wonderful way to socialize while being alone. It may have it's negatives but it is likely a real god send for individuals who can't or don't get out much. It certainly opens up the world more than anything else.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:12 am

    Quoting  :

Definitely. The interesting thing is whee that balance is. Seems to be as individual as we all are.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:18 am

    Quoting LeafTreat:
    I confess I really need time to myself. I'm much happier that way, although I love to spend time with my kids, engage with others at church and share some lighter moments in public. Occasionally I love to come across someone where I can get involved in really deep conversation. I have a lot of patience for that sort of thing and I love to listen as well as share perspective. However, when it comes to just living...I am very content wading through my day in total charge of how I spend my time and how I do things. I enjoy 'managing' life more and more. It took me at least 2 years to begin adapting to retirement. I know where I'm at now with that and ready to begin shaping it at a pace I find fulfilling and manageable. One thing I really love is stopping to smell the roses, think until I find comfort and create with all the patience I need. I have always been observant and able to see so much in life, but now I'm beginning to soak it all in with the devotion I've always dreamed of. It's a fantastic thing when you are able to see and hear with the kind of detail that allows you to absorb it...having the time to absorb it. It saddens me sometimes when I come across rigid unwillingness to take it all in. But even in that...I love being on the right side of the infinite possibility equation.
Fascinating how we humans all approach things differently. For us ADD types life.s challenge is to filter out the little details so we don't loose sight of the main show. For me on line and texting helps keep me from babbling on about every tangent that pops up. Forces me to slow down, focus and think before I run off at the mouth.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:19 am

    Quoting Hawkslayer:
    I think we all need a little time alone, and we all tend to get it in differing ways. Speaking for myself, I like to get out in the yard doing things that need doing, or spend time in the shed working on a project. But later I like to get together with Ann and enjoy that time too.

    Alfie...
I was going to comment about what "shed time" really is but Ann beat me to it.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:21 am

    Quoting Abelle2:
    Your shed time project is a farce...you have been sent there for a misdemeanor or flat out "screw up"

    Our time together, even if it is you downstairs and me upstairs and knowing we are together. Enough for me!!!
Laughs aside I am a bit like you when it comes to companionship, just knowing someone is "around" is often enough.

Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 10:22 am

    Quoting SpunkyLady61:
    I've had my time alone. I'm ready to be held.
I think many of us experience your kind of being alone. That happens even when we are surrounded by others and takes that special person to make it all good.

Spiritwoman ^i^


GLUMO 89F
9730 posts
1/21/2015 4:21 pm

Since I left my last job, I used to stay alone at home most of the day. I realized it doesn't bother me. At present is the same, because my grandchildren come from school in the afternoon, they have lunch and go upstairs to do their homework.
Well, I'm not really alone.
Your grandmother's saying reminded me that one of my dreams was to live in a cabin in the woods. I'd have loved a peaceful and quiet place to live in, surrounded by nature...



Trust in dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.(Khalil Gibran)


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 4:27 pm

    Quoting  :

For me your situation with Jerry sounds perfect. I know of a couple of others, including a niece with similar arrangements and it seems to work well for them too. the closest I came was a 2 and a half year relationship with a man who lived about 60 miles away. We spent 3 - 4 days a week together then the same apart going back and forth between our houses. Luckily in my current situation Chuck and I share a house but have our areas we retreat to more of the time than we share. Only way the artist and the engineer can coexist.

Your separate houses arrangements probably made it easier to adjust when Jerry passed.


Spiritwoman ^i^


spiritwoman45

1/21/2015 8:08 pm

    Quoting GLUMO:
    Since I left my last job, I used to stay alone at home most of the day. I realized it doesn't bother me. At present is the same, because my grandchildren come from school in the afternoon, they have lunch and go upstairs to do their homework.
    Well, I'm not really alone.
    Your grandmother's saying reminded me that one of my dreams was to live in a cabin in the woods. I'd have loved a peaceful and quiet place to live in, surrounded by nature...
Much as I love being at the lake, which is technically out in the woods (or at least the California version of it) I like being there with my family and close friends best. And we do have our dogs - at least of 4 of them with us.

Spiritwoman ^i^