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| Blogs > spiritwoman45 > Life in the Canyon |
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It's Not Only SFF A couple of days ago a friend referred me to another website that has a forum section. Of course it is a dating site and I had to create a profile. Mine is pretty skimpy and indicates that I am looking for friends. I haven't had time to check out the forum in depth yet but good thing I am not looking for a date. As with most dating sites the "new " gets lots of attention. Here are some of the responses I got. a 63 year old in Germany looking for any kind of girl 18 - 99 who lives in Germany A 55 year old from the UK looking for a woman 45 - 69 in Indonesia Any geography teachers looking for a date? I will see how the forum section works but after this do not exactly have high hopes. Spiritwoman ^i^ |
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9/14/2014 10:47 pm |
Hi Spirit: Just wondering if that was the 'Fishy' group? Their Forums section is like our Blogs but each new topic there gets hundreds of replies. You never get to know anyone that way and it's impossible to read all the replies unless you sit in front of your computer all day long.
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Dating sites can "sometimes" work for you. Ann and I met on this site and we have a very happy and loving relationship, but I do realise that we were two of the lucky ones. Alfie...
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9/15/2014 10:48 am |
Hi Spirit: Just wondering if that was the 'Fishy' group? Their Forums section is like our Blogs but each new topic there gets hundreds of replies. You never get to know anyone that way and it's impossible to read all the replies unless you sit in front of your computer all day long. My website is completely designed and in the hand of the techie. I am looking forward to getting it up and going to see how creating my own forum / blog will work. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 10:50 am |
I agree on the dating part. For me the age old police of making a variety of friends and staying pen to letting anything happens seems to be the most productive way. If a person can't be a good friend how could they be a good partner? Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 10:52 am |
Definitely a trick to lure you in. Once you have "registered" you get all sorts of attention. I suspect these may be bogus, sent by people paid by the website to attract customers. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 10:59 am |
I completely understand swearing off "dating" as it is defined by most of these sites just too bad it tainted your approach to men in general. I found that going with the friends first and extending the friendzone time really separates the good ones out. I do understand not wanting to put all of the effort into another serious relationship though. Using myself as an example I had a wonderful marriage and was widowed like you. At first I wanted to replace that but as we know relationships are unique and irreplaceable. I found that one out the hard way. My conclusion was OK, that won;t happen again but relationships are as unique as the people in them. My personal solution is to focus on computability and friendship. Working for me although my situation is not anything I envisioned even 10 years ago. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 11:06 am |
Hi Jan. Good to see you as usual. Unless you live in or near a major population center the same problem exists here in the US. It is not obvious to most, even those who have not raveled this huge country much, that the majority of the US geographically speaking, is small towns and lots of empty stuff. I had a college professor, a Brit, describe it as "to strips of civilization (the 2 coasts) with barbarism in between.". Obviously this was his academic approach to stimulating discussion with shock and challenge which most of us more mature students dismissed it as such but it did sum up the social geography of the US. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 11:08 am |
It should be for me too - in fact I should just get off the computer and do more productive things but I am in my second childhood or at least a very prolonged adolescence. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 11:15 am |
Dating sites can "sometimes" work for you. Ann and I met on this site and we have a very happy and loving relationship, but I do realise that we were two of the lucky ones. Alfie... However, the good news is that I found great relationships with like minded individuals that, while not what I thought I wanted, are very satisfying and learned a lot about myself in the process. . Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 11:18 am |
LOL - I figured this out after reading the first couple of sentences. Glad to see someone as "flawed" as I am. I like to think we do this becasue we are so enthusiastic about what we are saying we don't pay attention to the details. Good comment no matter how it ended up showing. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 11:26 am |
I no longer bother trying to find a male companion on dating sites......I joined a few over the years and had several dates and a couple of correspondendences .......The last one, the guy was talking to himself the whole time and I seemed totally redundant to the relationship.........My conclusion was that a lot of men don't know themselves very well and/or think its a good idea to misrepresent yourself until you meet.....resulting in some shocking revelations on meeting. I have heard the same stories from many friends.......the guy says he loves the outdoors and fishing and his photo shows him in a boat with a big salmon......turns out that was the only time he ever went outdoors in his life except to run to the car......LOL........ I agree with your statement that many people do not know themselves well enough to describe and present. I met many where were not intentionally misleading. They told it like it was - from their perspective. One in particular has remained a good friend for several years. I have watched him go through relationship failure after relationship failure. He is a good honest person but does not see himself as he really relates to others. Most likely these guys are like the rest of us - doing our best to meet our needs as we see them which may or may not be how others see us. Spiritwoman ^i^
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9/15/2014 12:57 pm |
or as my friend and I (both from Latin cultures) joke about our "difficult" relatives - "He may be an a@@hole but he is our a@@hole." Spiritwoman ^i^
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