 | Blogs > belle_la_donna > a dream weaver > Addicted to the chase |
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In the magazine, someone brought up the fact that some seem addicted to the chase. I suppose these could also be called players, people who are too picky, panty chasers....any number of things. Couldn't they also be people who have been hurt so badly they are desperatly seeking affirmation that they are worthy. Of course they are also selfish, because they don't think of others feelings..but maybe a little corner of them thinks the next one will be the one to make them whole. Yes, I wear rose colored glasses.  Belle
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6/11/2008 9:15 am |
LMAO...still as big a flirt as ever, I see. Why you know we can't change our spots. 
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6/10/2008 6:57 pm |
ooooo, sample spoons. I like that idea. Belle
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6/10/2008 6:56 pm |
Only when it comes to you babe!  Belle
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6/9/2008 10:04 pm |
ooooo, sample spoons. I like that idea.
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6/9/2008 12:08 pm |
Only when it comes to you babe!
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6/5/2008 2:05 pm |
Affirmation of worthiness??? Yeah a cheatin' spouse can make you bitter----Belle darlin' Your only hurtin' yourself by not allowing your sweet self to enjoy your middle earlies -----the dog just don't hack it. I know for sure, and would bet all your boots in your closet that you want to be in someones arms but are "scared to death!!"--your making a wrong choice or he may hurt you down the line. Are all the men you know blind? or have no sense? Damn someone get a rope and get this wonderful gal, times awastin' My motto is: Leap, and the net will appear...LOL......but look first..no point in throwin yourself on daggers. Belle
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6/4/2008 4:37 pm |
Affirmation of worthiness??? Yeah a cheatin' spouse can make you bitter----Belle darlin' Your only hurtin' yourself by not allowing your sweet self to enjoy your middle earlies -----the dog just don't hack it. I know for sure, and would bet all your boots in your closet that you want to be in someones arms but are "scared to death!!"--your making a wrong choice or he may hurt you down the line. Are all the men you know blind? or have no sense? Damn someone get a rope and get this wonderful gal, times awastin'
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6/2/2008 5:24 pm |
You are saying it about as well as it can be said. I think that a lot of people are really seeking something they have in their imagination. It would be difficult to satisfy them in any venue,much less one where people meet and there are vast distances separating them. They keep looking,hoping that the next one will prove to match their idea. I can only hope they find what it is they are looking for. This is just a personal opinion, but life is more fun if you can find time to laugh. 
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5/23/2008 5:23 pm |
Metaphoricly speaking, I find that if the cream is spread to thin among the cookies, during the chase, then it loses its flavor...and not worth the catch...wee willie wrinkle... “Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk past you again?”
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5/23/2008 1:54 pm |
Belle- There are many women who are the same way. I realize that being a woman, your focus is on men but from a mans point of view the same condition exist. Whatever the reason. Belle
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5/23/2008 12:34 pm |
wow...great topic Belle...interesting responses too. As far as "the chase" goes...I like bein chased...but not by just any man...cos I fully expect to be caught some day, at least I'm lookin to get caught lol. I guess from responses here, not every one has been completely honest about their intent, and I agree with RED here as well. If ya wanna play, stay with players. If ya wanna catch someone, or be caught, then stay with those who are lookin for the long term thing. Stop hurting people. Why people don't do this,....well you'll have as many answers as ya do people responding, and most answers prolly won't be very good things either considering human nature. Why worry and have wrinkles when you can smile and have dimples
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5/20/2008 8:00 pm |
JW said it all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, where is the next party
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 5/20/2008 4:55 pm |
A further thought. Instead of SFF wasting time and resources monitoring our emails and conversations may it is time they stepped up to the plate and organized some type of open, on line forum on senior dating. Covering but not limited to- who we are, what we expect, whats expected of us etc., etc.. I suspect there is going to be a gap between the forties somethings and the sixties something because we are to seperate generations that grew up with different rules and expectations. I have found that many of the people in their 50's and 60's with whom I've become friends are more open sexually, but less open emotionally (some of them, not ALL of them) than my younger friends. It's as though we younger ones are holding out for another marriage and the older ones are free to say "Who cares?" and do what they want. I don't care either way when we are just friends, but it can lead to a little strife in a relationship. I agree that we should have more options when stating what we want. I don't know for sure that I'd ever marry again, I don't know for sure that I wouldn't. SFF didn't have the choice "wishy-washy"! That's me...wishy-washy! LOL
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5/20/2008 4:40 pm |
I think that we often think we want something just to find out, when we actually get it, that it isn't what we expected. Unfortunately, SFF doesn't have a little sample spoon like Baskin-Robbins. Bummer! Do you remember when we went to that ice cream place in Kemah? I was looking forward to that white cherry cheesecake ice cream all morning--then, when the guy rang it up and my ONE DIP was $5, I just handed it back to him. Some tastes turn out not to be worth the cost. Did that make sense? I guess I am saying that I like to look and I'd like to find someone--but I would only want to keep them if it is worth the cost to BOTH OF US. No offense intended to anyone--so far, it hasn't been worth the cost.
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5/20/2008 1:03 pm |
Most of the people on this site have been hurt ..some a good few times. I never know if the men are being sarcastic just to be smart and are not like that at all, or if they are really being hurtful. If I was interested in someone here, had a date a met up, I wouldnt be looking at him as a future husband.I would enjoy his company and hope he enjoyed mine. If we both felt happy and comfortable, well, take it from there. I would be careful of another human beings feelings. If he was a bit of a chancer, he would have to deal with his shortcomings or failings himself.I would never be one to chase a man, he would have to show hos interest in me. I have met strange people here.
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5/20/2008 11:18 am |
Hi Belle: Maybe society and the world in general is in such a mess that a lot of people suffer from some level of depression, making it difficult for them to feel happiness from within (co-dependency). Co-dependents look for something (drugs, alcohol, gambling, work, attention) or someone outside themselves to make them feel happy. The excitement of something new works for awhile but then boredom and the every day drudgery and realities of life seep back in, so they look for another fix of 'happiness', a new something or someone else that they think will make them feel happy?
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5/20/2008 10:17 am |
Just wanted to add... Most men don't know what they want, and just are willing to try it and see if they like it! Most women, think they know what they want, and are willing to try it, just to prove themselves right!
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5/20/2008 9:46 am |
Belle when I was single , chasing gals on this site a few years ago....I dated a couple of gals. with two of them..the relartionship developed to the point of meeting and even getting physical (OK I ain't no virgin here!) But the physical part wasn't all it was supposed to be. It COULD have been...but in reflection, I think I was still grieving over the loss of my wife. On the surface, the chase was exciting, vibrant, exhilerating, but the real thing was something else. Fear of commitment? too much too soon? who knows? But the chase was fun! Just so's ya knows...the gals I spoke of, are still good friends to this day. no playin heah! Belle
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5/20/2008 9:36 am |
smiles, i think you're quite right. i actually wrote something about this phenomena (will post as tomorrows entry). i think that often, the self-esteem becomes so brittle that we bounce from one to another in search of affirmation.
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5/20/2008 9:31 am |
Belle, It's not rose colored glasses, it's pretty clear if you ask me. I find it amazing that people see themselves differently than they see others, only when it suits their purpose. They label and place intent upon the actions of others that services their own whim of things; when it's really just a whiff of things! a bad one at that! Some guys goes out with some girl, has sex, dumps hers and he IS a player. No if, ands, or butts about it. I guess sometimes it true, but sometimes it not. Ask yourself if sex is the where all, end all for you..if it isn't..then why would you project that the way for someone else? You simply can not be rejected for who are, so it must be the other person. Yet each of us constantly reject others, thinking we're not bad. Some people just aren't MFEO.....made for each other....that's cause I'm Sleepless in Seattle! Accept that, move on, and let the past go. Most of Us don't have a clue about who we are and what we want. we're just groping!, grabbing at straws..
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5/20/2008 9:03 am |
Perhaps sometimes a person just enjoys the thrill of the chase, the "being in love with love" but doesn't want the commitment that it takes for a lasting relationship. The reasons can be as varied as the number of people, and I do not think that many people stop and analyze what/why they are doing. They just react to the situations. The sad thing is that many people who are searching for a lasting relationship have been hurt by finding someone who isn't looking for the same thing. "One love - one life time" from the Phantom of the Opera
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5/20/2008 8:45 am |
A further thought. Instead of SFF wasting time and resources monitoring our emails and conversations may it is time they stepped up to the plate and organized some type of open, on line forum on senior dating. Covering but not limited to- who we are, what we expect, whats expected of us etc., etc.. I suspect there is going to be a gap between the forties somethings and the sixties something because we are to seperate generations that grew up with different rules and expectations. belle...as long as you know the truth, it doesn't matter what glasses you wear...
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5/20/2008 8:42 am |
Belle when I was single , chasing gals on this site a few years ago....I dated a couple of gals. with two of them..the relartionship developed to the point of meeting and even getting physical (OK I ain't no virgin here!) But the physical part wasn't all it was supposed to be. It COULD have been...but in reflection, I think I was still grieving over the loss of my wife. On the surface, the chase was exciting, vibrant, exhilerating, but the real thing was something else. Fear of commitment? too much too soon? who knows? But the chase was fun! Just so's ya knows...the gals I spoke of, are still good friends to this day. no playin heah!
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5/20/2008 8:40 am |
...and sometimes the journey is just better than the destination... Belle
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5/20/2008 8:39 am |
Solution for me: Bless them. Love them. Stay the hell out of the way. Just watch this party we call life. And, for me, don't hurt anyone else Good plan...it pretty much says what I think, except I don't want to just watch although that does have merits...I want to jump in with both feet and live. And since I think it, so does Michianared...and if she thinks it....lol Belle
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5/20/2008 8:36 am |
Not sure the reasons matter what matters is that someone gets hurt! I don't care if a person just wants to date with no serious interest but it seems to me that this type leads others on and when they achieve their conquest and move on they leave bodies in their wake. Of course this kind of prson does not come with a warning sign and so one doesn't know they are their next victim till it happens and they've moved on. LOL..you gotta ride the merry go round if you are gonna grab the brass ring. Belle
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5/20/2008 8:33 am |
What a person assumes about others only reflects on the person doing the assuming. What he or she would do, or want to do, in someone elses situation only reflects on the mentality of the assumer. If another needs someone in order to feel (whole)or worthy it is not my problem. If we were all the same, thought and lived the same, then we could look into a mirror, forget society, and live in a shell. Others can take care of their life and I can handle mine. I got this far without them. LOL If it is their rule they need to live with it, not me. I want more friends! Where is the next party??? I do think that if a person knows for sure they don't want to be part of a couple, they shouldn't date people who do. If you only want party friends..only date party friend type people. Or, hang around the local bars, party, then go home. Belle
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5/20/2008 8:30 am |
As usual I agree with you Belle.....there sure are a lot of them on both sides of the fence it seems......no matter their reasons my complaint about it all the lack of honesty....I realize they can't say "I want you to be satisfed with me while I keep looking for a better version of you" BUT that is exactly what many seem to do...when will people realize they really can NOT have it all..if they want an honest faithful person they need to be one....if they want to just date around they should expect those they date to do the same.....just be honest....some do seem to lose interest as soon as they see you show interest back...not sure if it is fear or the conquest is over at that point????? People want what they want. Some are able to self deny: some aren't. Belle
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5/20/2008 8:26 am |
Belle- There are many women who are the same way. I realize that being a woman, your focus is on men but from a mans point of view the same condition exist. Whatever the reason. I too flirt for the attention I get. I freely admit that it makes me feel good for men to pay attention to me. It re-afirms my femininity..but I believe I know when to stop so no one gets harmed, and I believe I don't flirt with someone who would take me seriously, and have hurt feelings. Some do not know the difference...and farther than that..some find a person they could be happy with, but are not self aware enough to know that they push them away, trying to spare their own heart. I do believe that some are just evil..and enjoy hurting others. The why doesn't matter, and in some cases there is no why. It just is. Belle
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5/20/2008 8:16 am |
What a person assumes about others only reflects on the person doing the assuming. What he or she would do, or want to do, in someone elses situation only reflects on the mentality of the assumer. If another needs someone in order to feel (whole)or worthy it is not my problem. If we were all the same, thought and lived the same, then we could look into a mirror, forget society, and live in a shell. Others can take care of their life and I can handle mine. I got this far without them. LOL If it is their rule they need to live with it, not me. I want more friends! Where is the next party???
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5/20/2008 7:59 am |
...and sometimes the journey is just better than the destination... "Life's tough, but it's even tougher if you're stupid."
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5/20/2008 7:38 am |
A further thought. Instead of SFF wasting time and resources monitoring our emails and conversations may it is time they stepped up to the plate and organized some type of open, on line forum on senior dating. Covering but not limited to- who we are, what we expect, whats expected of us etc., etc.. I suspect there is going to be a gap between the forties somethings and the sixties something because we are to seperate generations that grew up with different rules and expectations.
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5/20/2008 7:38 am |
Not sure the reasons matter what matters is that someone gets hurt! I don't care if a person just wants to date with no serious interest but it seems to me that this type leads others on and when they achieve their conquest and move on they leave bodies in their wake. Of course this kind of prson does not come with a warning sign and so one doesn't know they are their next victim till it happens and they've moved on.
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5/20/2008 7:18 am |
As usual I agree with you Belle.....there sure are a lot of them on both sides of the fence it seems......no matter their reasons my complaint about it all the lack of honesty....I realize they can't say "I want you to be satisfed with me while I keep looking for a better version of you" BUT that is exactly what many seem to do...when will people realize they really can NOT have it all..if they want an honest faithful person they need to be one....if they want to just date around they should expect those they date to do the same.....just be honest....some do seem to lose interest as soon as they see you show interest back...not sure if it is fear or the conquest is over at that point????? Living my life for the memories I will have....... not the regrets of what never was......
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5/20/2008 6:47 am |
Gonna be brief this morning. In my humble opinion We're all at the right place at the right time to be learning the lessons we are here to learn. We can "label" others with any moniker we choose based on perception of their behavior. There's always, always a reason for the behavior, and reasons given above all are reasonable and qualify....and we can still never know "why"....too many variables. And, they can't conceive that, in a relationship, two halves do not make a whole. Solution for me: Bless them. Love them. Stay the hell out of the way. Just watch this party we call life. And, for me, don't hurt anyone else. Ah! So much for brief! Sorry! Have a beautiful day! It's gonna be 97 degrees here today. Whew!
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5/20/2008 6:39 am |
Belle- There are many women who are the same way. I realize that being a woman, your focus is on men but from a mans point of view the same condition exist. Whatever the reason.
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