 | Blogs > Robyn5 > LIVE FOR TODAY. > HAVE YOU CHANGED SINCE YOU JOINED SFF, AND HOW? |
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I wonder about the members here in SFF. Do you think you have changed since you joined the site? Some people have been here for 10 years or more, and I wonder if you, the members, hadnt joined SFF in the first instance, what would you be like now. Would you have changed in a different way,would you be a bit isolated, lonely, or does SFF have no effect on you at all. Change is usually a good thing, in the real world, but can a person in cyber world or on a Social Networking site change because of being here and if so would it have any influence on your thinking or judgment when you have been here for some years. It has been known to change the very young, if they are not rescued in time. Being popular is very important to most young people, until they discover how unimportant it really is. I have been here for over two years. I am in a 12 step programme which encourages change, so over the past 25 years I have changed in my real life, quite a lot really, from the person I used to be 25 years ago. I dont think a cyber site can bring about much change in a persons personality Recently someone said that I had changed but not for the better. That made me think about myself and if undue influences can be strong enough to encourage a person to be someone they are really not and if so, why. Do we honestly try to go along with the majority? Is it easier? I was never one to follow the crowd, I was never part of any group of women. It probably did bother me a bit when I was young, but as I made my own way through life, I became more independent and was happy to be a bit of a loner, - I liked my own company at times and didnt want any intrusion. I can get along with women much better now, but it has always been a big problem. I think I create barriers. I came here with my own personality, and I feel I still am the same person. In the real world I have been described as a very private person. I wonder what other people feel about all this. Im really interested. I know men can feel left out of the crowd too, but do they have their own way of dealing with it. I know a man who never went out without his wife or family, and doesnt know how to socialize on his own, even to go for a pint. My opinion is that for me, I am exactly who I am, I doubt if a cyber or social site can change me from the real person I have always been and the only changes I can make to myself are in my real life. A lot of people joining social sites can be left vulnerable by the loss of a partner, husband/wife, divorce, and the self esteem and confidence might be gone for awhile. Encouraging words, no matter here or in your real life, can be just that, encouraging, and help to get you back functioning again, as has happened here, and as I learned from the sharing from members. While I was looking at the pictures from the St.Petes Bash, I wondered, when I saw all the women getting on so well, would I truly have been happy there, even tho' I said I would love to have been part of it. |
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 11/27/2009 7:51 pm |
Im much more cynical than I used to be. I have been here for 10 years so maybe life outside of SFF has been part of the cause, Im really not sure. Paul
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11/9/2009 2:48 pm |
Robyn, I have changed. It has been for the most part good. Shay2006.... Embarrassing my children......Just one more service I offer.  
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11/9/2009 8:32 am |
 I keep changing almost everyday. I hope it is for the good, but that depends on the perception of other. I guess I better go change my profile.  I age very well! Bye for now! Thank you! .♥. ♫ ♥ ♫ ♥ DENVER ♫¨♥ .♫ ♥ ♫
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11/5/2009 6:12 am |
yep, i'm more synical...and take the insults more seriously and to heart,,,,..but sill like a real good mental debate,,,,which is hard to find on this site.... they are all so one sided and narrow....site is not fun any longer......blah!  Or maybe what is needed is the SFF equivalent of a learner's permit. You only get a real license after demonstrating you can take the heat.
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11/4/2009 10:18 am |
Hi Robyn. Very good blog subject. I believe we do change, we get older hopefully wiser and friendlier. Always treat folk as you wish to be treated yourself. 
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11/4/2009 6:14 am |
Everything we do..whether it is a web site, or a card game contributes to who we are. Of course I have changed. Lives are in a constant state of change. Now, as to whether or not the changes have been positive, or negative, only time will tell.  Belle
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11/4/2009 4:46 am |
Hi Robyn, My person remains unchanged...it was my perception about people that did. I never thought there were crazier people than crazy me.  
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11/4/2009 4:24 am |
I have learned to know people a lot, observed and I came up with my personal opinions about them. It made me more patient understanding people. I met Stillwatertoo who gave a real meaning to my life. If you are doubting something, doubt your limits
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11/4/2009 3:04 am |
Yes I've changed. I've become older in some ways and younger in others, sadder and happier at the same time, more travelled, I get out a lot more and have more time to pursue a lot of different interests because for the first time in my life I'm personally answerable to no one in many ways. I have a happier life but more nightmares because I'm still very unsettled after so many upheavals, but I'm glad I'm where I am and happy with who I am. I've noted to my great surprise that among my fellow travellers in this space in time, some grow more experienced and learn and grow from that, while others use more experience to confirm long held views and sometimes, prejudices. I realise now that some of us as we grow older have not developed the wisdom to distinguish a storm from a storm in a teacup, and I've learnt that life is far, far too short to waste doing things you don't want to, or fighting or arguing when you could be out having a blast either by yourself or with friends and/or family. The only timne you need to slow down is when you stop to smell the roses.
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11/4/2009 1:22 am |
Hi Robyn....yes, I've changed, mostly from necessity. I met my bride Sandy here in SFF, married, and started a truly new second life. Life after the passing of one's spouse can be miserable, and I was on that path. Sandy has breathed new life and purpose into me. So, simply, yes I've changed. I hope for the better. Nice post you wrote. Mike
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11/4/2009 12:24 am |
Hi Robyn: Interesting blog. I think I am pretty well the same as I've always been, only worse. HaHa Whenever I see photos of any of the bashes, I just can't picture me fitting in at all. I am definitely not the carefree, happy go lucky, hanging from a chandelier type. If I did go to a bash, I can just picture all the women huddling together whispering and snickering about me. Very scary.
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11/3/2009 10:51 pm |
I have learned a few things that I never even knew I didn't know. lol Have I changed? No. I'm too stubborn to change now. Blessings
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11/3/2009 9:52 pm |
I always have been a woman's woman, love my girlfriends, and it seams I always belonged to some kind or another woman group, please do not misunderstand what I am saying, I want a man as a partner, but women hear and understand what I say, sort of sisterhood. Getting back to the subject of the blog, I guess I have learned to be more aware of ill intend, but I have also seen kindness and compassion, I must say this: after last week, I never knew I could find friends so much acceptance, funny and crazy...Did I say I had a hell of a good time??? "Truth, wisdom, love, seek reasons, malice only seeks causes" Johann Kaspar Lavater
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11/3/2009 7:21 pm |
No, I haven't changed.....If there was a pie-chart of the concerns and influences in my life, this site would be a minuscule slice.Like Bike.. I have learned a few things though......
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11/3/2009 7:17 pm |
I've gotten older.
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11/3/2009 7:06 pm |
I do believe I changed since I joined SFF, some for the better in that I have certainly come out of a self-imposed shell I stayed in for several years. On the other hand, I believe at times I have become way too sensitive to the negativity and disagreement that flourishes here often, forgetting that it is afterall just cyber association and cannot affect me unless I cede it that power. I do believe, however that continued association with "toxic" people infects us, whether we agree with them or not. On balance, the majority of the people I have met personally and shared comments on blogs and joined in the Chat Room, have been very positive and much welcomed additions to my life. It is my responsibility to determine for myself how I will allow cyber interactions to affect me. Getting away from Chat has been a good thing for me, even though it was great fun for a while until all the banning, and ridiculous feuds and blow-ups in the Chat Room ruined the atmosphere, and took away the outrageously funny times I once enjoyed My experiences on another site where most of my SFF friends have now congregated have shown me once again, that associating with upbeat, friendly and diverse personalities adds much to my own positive outlook. As for SFF, I have learned from many here; some lessons were painful, some have been illuminating, and some have reinforced my willingness to express myself and accept the consequences. Many bloggers have motivated me to look deeper and with more questioning into my own philosophies, beliefs and mindset. Learning is always a positive, even if sometimes we have to learn the hard way! Head in Clouds Feet on Ground
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11/3/2009 6:59 pm |
Great blog and full of a lot of things to think on. I also am a loner in lot of ways and felt the same as you say when I think of the FL bash. I would have liked to have gone in lot of ways, but know how people wear me down, so would have had to gotten away to get enough strength to face another few hours with people again as people just are NOT my thing.. NOW, my ONE and even tied at the hip is, but NOT people. Well, I guess my one even though I have been divorced 5 years now, so maybe not even ONE. LOL I do seem to mix with most very well and can do good a day or two, then need a bit of time or few days away maybe to mix again. I maybe could do a day or two a week if we had to mix, that is if I had a one as I know many ones want to mix, but for me, I can go weeks or months and forget that I have not seen people as such. Yep, SFF has changed me a lot.. It has made me hard and cold to any older people as I have seen so many mean people here. I won't even hardly speak to any any more if I see them on the street or such as I assume most are cross or mean. I have also learned to not have much respect for older women as it seems so many here really have a huge chip on their shoulder. NOW I know there are a few nice ones and few have treated me good the 5 years I have been here, but for the most part I have learned to not think any over who knows, maybe 40 or so will be much other than mean. Yep, SFF has changed the way I see people a lot, and what little I have seen of people in real life since I started looking after seeing how people are here..After I started watching, I see the ones on the street are a lot the same as many are here... grouchy.
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11/3/2009 5:23 pm |
Haven't changed, but I have learned a few things.
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11/3/2009 2:21 pm |
yep, i'm more synical...and take the insults more seriously and to heart,,,,..but sill like a real good mental debate,,,,which is hard to find on this site.... they are all so one sided and narrow....site is not fun any longer......blah!
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 11/3/2009 2:20 pm |
Robyn, I was nice, I learned nice very well. Now, I'm done with nice. I'm just AneMac. It works for me. Thank you for posting this girlfriend. I will say this. I think SFF has added a wonderful dimension to my life. I have reached out to girlfriends who strike a cord with me, no matter where they live.  Glad to know you Robyn. "He who knows not the world, knows not his own place in it." Marcus Aurelius
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11/3/2009 12:59 pm |
No, I have not changed even a little bit. I am the same sweet, innocent, conformist, non-controversial sweetheart that I always was. ROFL Isn't PEACE a wonderful thing?
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