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| Blogs > ChrisChadwick > Letting Go |
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New Beginnings amid New Concerns Well, the new contract starts Monday, but my wife's health is making me have some second thoughts about it. The tentative diagnosis for her is congestive heart failure. That's her most serious diagnosis to date, although it's a tentative diagnosis and it has yet to be confirmed with the appropriate test. I know people live for years with CHF, but I also know it never really gets better, either, generally speaking, although the symptoms can be treated so that quality of life is improved some. She'll have an echocardiogram next Friday to see if that can confirm the diagnosis -- I'm not entirely convinced that's what is causing her symptoms, mostly because I don't see how it explains the longstanding low-grade fever -- but whatever it is, I suspect it's something that is another chronic illness that will further degrade her already considerably degraded quality of life. I'm going to start the new job Monday, but if this turns out to be what the MD thinks, I might have to end it quickly. The reason I retired early was because I couldn't continue juggling her health crisis management with a full work schedule. I've been trying to ease into retirement by working some while she was relatively stable, hoping I could continue that practice until I got to 65 or so, but if I have to quit early, that's what I'll do. So for now, I'll have to take it a week at a time. I'm not in the best frame of mind going into this new job, certainly. I know my own limitations pretty well at this point, and I know that I don't really have a lot in reserve to deal with another long-term crisis while I work full-time. The one silver lining is that it's a lot easier to quit a contract job than it is to quit ones with benefits and all. I'd hate to quit before I even get good and started, but I have to keep telling myself that, if I HAVE to quit, well, it's just not the end of the world. Like my dad used to say, if it's not one damned thing, it's TWO damned things. |
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9/18/2014 4:38 pm |
So sorry for what your wife is experiencing. I don't know, not familiar with everything, but if any doubts in the diagnosis, maybe there is something else. Are any types of information regarding some alternative medicine like Chinese...that would help? if that makes any sense.... And as the saying goes: a caregiver needs also help and support in order to be able to take care of the loved one who is ill....if that's possible, that would alleviate some of the worries...and help to make some space for work...
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Warm Hugssss to you both!!!
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