 | Blogs > saucypeaches > the random thoughts of a saucy > i need to vent |
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Have you ever had someone who invites themselves over for family functions every time they can? Last summer, almost every other weekend, this person invited himself and his family,( wife 3 little kids and 2 grown kids), over to either our house or my father in laws house, to come eat with us. He is one of the supervisors at their work, and he is tryin to get brownie points with my father in law, who is the vice president. He started out as one of my hubbys lead men and , Scott recommended him for a supervisors position. When they come over, he and his wife talk about how much work he does in the company and how he deserves so much more money than he is being paid. We dont want to hear it lol! My hubby and father in law practically live at the plant as it is. We want our free time to be our own. I wouldnt mind as much if we invited him..but he asks..what are you doing this week end..then says ohhh well we may stop over. There is never any we MAY stop..they always come... and expect to be entertained and waited on. Today it is happening again, we planned a cookout and my mother in law called and said..they just invited themselves over...I just wanted to warn you! I know because of my husbands and father in laws positions, that I have to hold my tongue, but I have never dealt with anyone doing this before lol. Last year he even invited himself over the day I learned my uncle died, and there I was crying and trying to cook and wait on his family. After they ate I just excused myself from the room and went to my bedroom. They knew he had died and still came over and stayed for hours. I just needed some time alone. I was raised that it isnt polite to turn someone away in need, and my husbands family is the same way.. so we dont refuse them. But i am getting so bitter about it, that I dont like myself when they are here. It doesnt matter if we tell them we have family plans, they still come. The kids terrorize the dogs, they go thru my kids things..we lock the door to the down stairs cause they go thru my kids dressers and closets. Its making me more crazy than i already am!! Thanks for letting me vent a bit  Happy Memorial day everybody!! kellyc aka saucy
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 5/25/2008 10:04 am |
Saucy, I think your father in-law or your hubby should have a talk with him regarding his visits. He's got a family and a grill. I'm sure he could have his own cookouts. A good start for you today would be to verbally lay into the kids, and don't wait on any of them for anything. Let them get it themselves. AZ If you can read this, thank a teacher. If it is in English, thank a Veteran
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5/25/2008 11:16 am |
I agree with AZcacti .... your FIL or husband should deal with it. Maybe they don't see the problem like you and your MIL do? If they don't, speak to them about it. Most of the burden of the guests falls on the hostesses shoulders, and your men may not even be aware of how it is affecting you? Good luck! "...I yam what I yam and that's all that I yam 'cause I yam what I yam"
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5/25/2008 11:21 am |
The solution is so obvious I won't spell it out.
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5/25/2008 11:25 am |
Tell you what,you vented,I just listened,and I will spare advice.
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5/25/2008 11:25 am |
When they start to complain about his lack of pay, remind them of the cost of the food they have consumed at your home, plus your hourly pay when you wait on them. Sorry, people like that remind me of parasites, they are no good blood suckers draining you dry. I wouldn't tell them anything when asked, or if they ask what you're doing, tell them your doing nothing and not to come over. I'd be damned if I would serve them, or wait on them, shoot, I'd toss them out on their butts!!!!
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5/25/2008 11:27 am |
Saucy, This man is oblivious to any manners at all. Since he is so stupid in manners he will not be able to grasp hints about just showing up. Your hubby or father-in-law is just going to have to tell this jerk he is only welcome when he is invited and also tell him when he is invited, we don't talk about his lack of pay or benefits. Tell him right out front, if you aren't happy with your pay, then quit and go somewhere you will. Some people you can give hints and they will take them and back off, this is the type of man you are going to have to write it on a 2x4 and hit him right between the eyes with it for him to understand. I wish you luck dear.
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5/25/2008 11:40 am |
We want our free time to be our own. I wouldnt mind as much if we invited him..but he asks..what are you doing this week end..then says ohhh well we may stop over. The next time they ask what you are doing this week end.....say....we have plans and I am sorry it is NOT convenient for you to come over. Even if they say we may come over...tell them again it is NOT convenient. That you will be sure to invite them the next time it is convenient. Make sure to say this firmly but sweetly.......Don't want to offend since he works for your men. Get your MIL to say the same thing. Your plans could be a nap, having someone else over....you owe them NO explanation. Good luck....you do need to talk to your hubby and FIL....They may not realize it's a problem for you...or may not know how to NOT get caught in the trap. He may be mentioning it at work. You all need to be on the same page.
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5/25/2008 11:40 am |
Sis that would piss off the Pope! vent away, then tell hubby to address it. my thoughts D SOME CANNIBALS ATE A MISSIONARY, THEY GOT THEIR FIRST TASTE OF RELIGION.
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5/25/2008 11:44 am |
Sometimes rude people understand nothing but the same ... either your hubby or your father-in-law may have to be rude to get a point across. I wouldn't know how to handle something like this diplomatically. I'm still trying to figure out how anyone can be THAT crusty!!
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5/25/2008 12:32 pm |
hello friend Saucy,,,, as Tears so rightly said,, they are parasites relying on your generous nature,, sounds like the firm would be better off without him working there,,, you vent away my friend, ceejay.
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5/25/2008 1:45 pm |
You're in a tough spot aren't you, sweetie. You're trying to be accomodating, friendly and welcoming, but they are taking advantage of you. One of the MEN in your family needs to take care of this. If they won't do it, why don't you start charging $20 per person....at the door. Bet that'll keep the moochers away.  "The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you."
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5/25/2008 10:10 pm |
At least it isn't your husband's or your FIL's boss, so they should have no problem telling this man about this problem. If the men do not want to deal with it, then perhaps you could approach his wife, woman to woman? But it DOES need dealt with, or you will just continue to get more and more angry. It is YOUR home, and YOUR family time.... You do NOT have to share it with just everyone who wants to drop in. BTW, when's the next cookout? I like my hamburgers well done, thank you. LOL "One love - one life time" from the Phantom of the Opera
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5/26/2008 5:32 am |
Saucy .... yeah .... I wanna know when the next cookout is, too! There will be four more of us coming, and don't expect us to bring anything either! After all, we're FRIENDS!
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5/26/2008 7:48 am |
Invite me. I'll be sure to tell the clod that there is not enough food for him, and he was not invited, so he'd better high tail it to Burger King, family in tow. I'll even test his English language comprehension.
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5/26/2008 8:35 am |
THAT'S IT.... THAT'S THE ANSWER, Roadranger! Saucy can invite all of us over, and WE can tell the freeloader for her.... AFTER she has fed us, that is! "One love - one life time" from the Phantom of the Opera
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5/26/2008 9:44 am |
OK, now explain again why you can't say no to someone who invites themselves?? Yes, I read your explanation but that wouldn't prevent me from saying no.
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5/26/2008 12:00 pm |
Better yet .... let's ALL crash Saucy's next bar-b-que .... after which time, we MIGHT allow her to vent again.
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5/26/2008 2:47 pm |
now cmon y'all are acting like i wouldnt WANT you to visit!! cmon over i will cook for you like crazy. Loon, i just wasnt raised that way.. we always welcomed anyone to our table who came. my mother in law and i did converse yesterday and we talked to our menfolk we think they got the point now lol. i did get a laff when on their way out, he thanked us for inviting him.. yeah right lmao
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5/27/2008 5:00 am |
That's right MrsJoe: A whole new program. Food for Flak!  Why, we might be able to eat for free and hire ourselves out as: "Flak Flingers".
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5/28/2008 9:24 am |
I'm gonna crash Saucy's next cook out and just stare at a couple things. Saucy, next time tell them that you are having a special FAMILY ONLY thing. Of course you could turn things around, Tell him the whole bunch will be at his house next weekend for a cook out and let him know you expect your favorite foods.
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