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Southern Girl's Livin' will
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Apr 12, 2005 1:06 pm
Mood: optimistic,
940 Views
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{}in the matter of the final wishes of this Southern Belle {} being of sound mind and un-liposuctioned body declare this my livin' will, not my leavin'will where I get to leave all my unclaimed junk to unappreciative relatives I hardly know. It is, therefore, my wish that you not pull the plug on my unresponsive body unless the following criteria have occured (a)a male intern passes close to my bedside and I make no remark or try pinching his very cute rear end(b). no national or regional catastrophic crisis has occured where I am taking up space that is desperately needed (c). everybody I know back to Adam and Eve have died, so my existence is pretty much pointless (d). I have plans, even as much as six months away involving a male friend, a male acquaintance, basically anything in pants could be considered in this vein (e). my family, a loved one or a horse's rear end has purchased an enormous insurance policy,is now stalking my room, calling me names, and alienating my family (f). I only require feeding and there aren't extraordinary means already in place keeping my lifeless body alive (g).that I recently signed a donor card and have a rare blood type and perfectly good organs. In the event that of these issues have been addressed, and a large dose of chocolate has been tried, then at least consult religious leaders, friends of the church and half-way religious politicians before you act. Remember, when I get to the other side, I could be quite dangerous, indeed.
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7
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This is my own, my native land
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Apr 12, 2005 9:24 am
Mood: contemplative,
776 Views
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It occurs to me that with ancestry of English, Irish, and Welsh descent, I have to sing that song with tongue-in-cheek. My people came over on the Mayflower, actually probably a poor representation of the Mayflower. They filed in by way of Ellis Island and immigrated to Kansas and Oklahoma.We are not of native descent and this is not my native land. It is the Americas.It belonged to North, Central and South America and until we built a canal in Panama, they could migrate easily from Canada to South America. I respect this. The borders we have erected are in direct opposition to the past. We colonized this country and interjected out faith and beliefs on these peoples. Now, with our imperialistic view, we seal them out and treat them as intruders. Only in America.
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14
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