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 | Blogs > earthytaurus3 > At a crossroads > It is not reasonable to expect we will always agree .... |
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I've been thinking and recounting a number of situations where I was on the brink of creating a cyber enemy here on the site be it through some gross misunderstanding or misinterpretation of something said - a sassy, thoughtless comment on my part or someone else's, or an outright disagreement where one or the other took offense. Whatever the cause, I am here to tell you that reasonable people can and do jump these hurdles and in the final analysis allow reason, tempered with tolerance, to prevail long before the frenzy of hatred takes hold. This morning, I was numerating a few of these incidences: 1. Bella_la_donna rearranged my face for me but good in a blog where something I offered up offended her greatly. In the aftermath, she became aware that she misread what I said and apparently said poorly. She offered up, "I don't know what came over me." That was ALL it took! I looked in the mirror and actually liked the rearrangement a whole lot better! LOL Boy! She told me off good!! I love that gal's spunk. She stands up for herself and is nobody's doormat - much like me - but I also found her not to be above healing a misunderstanding. I appreciate Belle and her take on things as evidenced by her comments in blogs. 2. Saucypeaches and I were not exactly friends for a long long time. I cannot recall the cause, really can't, but it was clear we were at odds. Well, I pee-peed on her enough times to get her attention. Lo and behold, we laughed away any ill feeling and now enjoy a new found appreciation for one another. I came to realize Saucy has a heart of gold and has a sense of humor that never quits! She is numero uno in my book now. 3. Sassyshebear ripped me a new one in a blog of her own addressing the fact that I had deleted her comment in a blog of my own. Lordy, Lordy, that woman was mad at me!! PHEW!! I could almost feel the heat of the flames coming through her nostrils. Well, guess what? We never continued to feed the frenzy. We let it rest. She entered chat one day, and I said, "Hello" to let her know I was not harboring any bad feelings. She responded in kind, and any previous anger dissipated into thin air. I loved it. It made my soul sing! Which leads me to .......... 4. Singtomysoul, wise woman, warded off a cyber battle by addressing me in a personal e-mail to make a clarification, again, about something stated in a blog. We had a nice dialog .... found we had quite a lot in common .... even traveled some of the same turf, etc.. Poooooooof. No more angst between us. I have come to appreciate her intelligence and diplomacy. I'm sure there are others .... but I'm drawing a blank right now. And I post a reminder: I am addressing "reasonable" people. When bitterness runs rampant for too long, the damage is permanent - the scars run too deep. I can be forgiving; but, I am also realistic. |
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5/1/2008 8:31 am |
 Very good blog..... Good for all of you ...that is how adults handle life.... REDLiving my life for the memories I will have....... not the regrets of what never was......
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5/1/2008 9:00 am |
I love ya ET  ...and you're right...when I was a kid some of my best friends were ones I had the worst fights with...now...I just don't have it in me to harbor hatred...being human, however I stil have a time or 2 I get PO'd and spout off...MOSTLY when I'm personally attacked or someone I love is attacked...I've raised 4 wonderful adults that are very well rounded and have 11 grandchildren that I adore...In the role as grandfather I very often have to teach tolerance and kindness to them...In fact, I still have that role in some of my children's life...In the work I've been in the past, I've learned tolerance for many things....but one attacking another on an individual level in pubic as to demean or dishonor another, is just wrong...we all do it as you stated and that's part of the human factor...moving past it is sometimes more difficult for some than others...Myself I don't forget when I'm mistreated by another...and it DOES effect tht relationshp forever more...and that does NOT mean I'm an unfogiving person...those of you that may actually KNOW me will attest to that fact...what it does mean is like the old saying "you only get one chance to make a first impression". I have lots more to say on this particular subject, but recent events have left me too emotionally charged to do any justice to what I have to say to a cricket that has put his nose where it didn't belong and continues to throw gasoline on the fire... THAT scar has already run too deep...
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5/1/2008 9:17 am |
Michiana .... I would never deny I can be feisty. It's part of my internal make-up. My mother did not refer to me as a "sassy little brat" for nothing! (Nor did she ever realize she was my menesis.) BUT, it does my heart a world of good when there comes positive closure to a bad situation. I feel triumphant when that occurs.
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5/1/2008 9:23 am |
It is true that to expect to go through life never encountering someone who you disagree with or maybe "just don't click" with, is to be unrealistic. I read a quote once that said something to the effect that for every second we waste on being angry or resentful, is a second we miss out on being happy and content. Which is a wiser and more enjoyable use of our lives, anger or happiness? .. I try my best to be slow to anger and quick to get over it!
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5/1/2008 9:24 am |
Anyone who would disagree with ET's words here has got to have a screw loose. RED is correct.......THAT IS HOW ADULTS HANDLE LIFE!!!!!!!! You go ET, I likeYA! (don't always agree withYA but I DO LIKEYA) ALOT!
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5/1/2008 9:26 am |
I couldn't agree with you more..if we could all at least TRY to "see" things in a similar fashion..well..think of how much less anger there would be on here  I love your post..good of you to give examplesof some of the difficult moments..I know that those you have mentioned will appreciate it too Wishes for a real nice day~Grace 
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5/1/2008 9:27 am |
I'm really laughing at the poll register...this is too funny...I"m glad someone knows me better than I do so they can show their disagreement... 
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5/1/2008 9:31 am |
I couldn't agree with you more..if we could all at least TRY to "see" things in a similar fashion..well..think of how much less anger there would be on here I love your post..good of you to give examplesof some of the difficult moments..I know that those you have mentioned will appreciate it too Wishes for a real nice day~Grace we don't always "see" things in a similar fashion..that's okay too.. lots of different personalities here..but we can and should at least treat one another respectfully..and that sometimes means saying nothing at all 
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5/1/2008 9:41 am |
Willy .... I certainly understand the personal attack part. There are those who have used me as a voodoo doll for a couple of years now. I am so poked full of holes, I don't have the energy to combat them anymore. I was addressing the times I had conflict with people who, like myself, actually wanted to set things right, and we both put forth an effort. These are the people I have come to value. Big hug for you, my friend
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5/1/2008 9:44 am |
Willy .... yep .... and how could anyone conceivably disagree with what Michiana had to offer?
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5/1/2008 9:45 am |
Wonderful blog earthytaurus! I too have had some initial raw rubs with a few on this site, but they have resolved themselves without any big to-do. I recently had another blogger contact me, concerned that she might have offended me over a posting of a blog. She had not, but the fact that she wanted to make sure everything was fine (and her willingness to take the blog down, if she had offended me) spoke volumes to me of her sensitivity of others feelings.
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5/1/2008 9:49 am |
Good blog ET..... Thanks....Barbe
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5/1/2008 9:53 am |
Grace .... I understand what you are saying. I'm counting the successes here. It's is not to say or expect there will always be a meeting of the minds. Sometimes, the very best we can do is to let it all go to bed and to eternal rest. We cannot, realistically, expect to be buds with everyone we encounter, here or anywhere else. Thanks for your comments.
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5/1/2008 9:57 am |
Ola .... wonderful jesture! I'm saying, I love it when that happens!! I always agree with you. LOL
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5/1/2008 10:04 am |
SueMoo .... I think the world would be a most boring place if everyone always thought alike or if we didn't meet people smarter than ourselves who have something to teach to set us straight!! Wouldn't it?? As I've said before, a genuine and well-placed disagreement adds spark to life (blogs). And LORD knows I need that! If I can't back up my stance, then maybe I can be convinced to reconsider. It's called open communication. It need not be a battle ground. Thanks for commenting.
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5/1/2008 10:05 am |
i agree ET. i am so glad we are friends now. i think alot of it and ive said it before, is that people cant hear inflection in typing...it may sometimes seem to others that we r being horribly sarcastic and mean, when in our own minds we think we are being funny. and for some reason, it is really easy to take things and blow them out of proportion on here, than it would be when you have to deal with things face to face. the other day we had a wonderful political discussion in the chat room..im serious!!! and no one got their panties in a bunch, we were able to discuss things and disagree with each other, with out resorting to name calling or getting feelings hurt. it was great! i wish it could always be like that, that we could discuss important things and give and recieve info, without thinking that people are just out to get us!. then the chat rooms wouldnt always just be a multitude of his and byes. it was nice to hear all sides and have a conversation that had depth. kellyc aka saucy
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5/1/2008 10:07 am |
ooops i forgot....lmao willy i luv ya greatly and i agree with everythang ya said..but i caught a typo and had to giggle when ya said pubic instead of public..i know im immature lmao tell me to go pee up a rope kellyc aka saucy
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5/1/2008 10:08 am |
ET, this is such a good blog .. u are using common sense ,, yes all of us kinda get our panties in wad (lol) so to speak .. but that is what life is all about forgiving. All of us has opnions what makes world go around .. gosh no one is percect. U are right be reasonable about things ..It bothers me when someone thinks i have done them wrong and i try to make things right but seems sometime its impossible seems so i have learned to leave alone something i cant fix. Mott
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5/1/2008 10:55 am |
saucy...freudian slip?
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5/1/2008 10:56 am |
  THANKS FOR THE GOOD BLOG, ET.
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5/1/2008 11:00 am |
Now, MOTT!!! Say it ain't so that anyone has ever found fault with YOU, dear lady!!! You are the Good Humor Lady!! You are the sweet among sweets!! *sigh* .... just goes to show, not one of us will ever be a friend to all. Just 'ain't' gonna happen. BUT, we do the best we can with the people willing to recognize our human foibles. I for one luvs ya! BIG time!!
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5/1/2008 11:02 am |
Saucy .... I'm glad you showed up, little darlin'! Else I might have been pis*ing in the wind here! LOL I wanted to honor you as friend and one who leaped tall buildings with me.
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5/1/2008 11:18 am |
ET Very good blog..... Sometimes we add intent to hurt when there is none. I'm not sure, if I said something hurtful to you, certainly never intented to do so. I would be honored to join your list, if you ever felt the time was right.
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 5/1/2008 12:49 pm |
ET. Words can be very hurtful at times and if we are feeling a bit down or depressed they can be even more hurtful. We should handle each other with care.
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5/1/2008 2:07 pm |
Hi Earthy: I have also had problems with a few people in the group. I have had four negative blogs written about me, insults left and right, weird e-mails, and two stalkers. I know I am very outspoken, and I really have to learn to sugar coat my responses, especially on the internet. When someone really seems to hate me in the group, what I do is give it a little time and then make some innocent comment to them like "nice blog" or "I agree". Before I know it, the person usually seems to forget they hate me, sometimes they even turn out to be my friend. Its sad that everyone can't look and see what's inside another person, but I think its probably the same in real life.
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5/1/2008 2:21 pm |
Great blog Earthy & soooooo true! Have a great day Cheers
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5/1/2008 3:43 pm |
ET, just like the old Indian Chief said to his grandson I have two wolves inside of me, one is evil the other is good, the grandson thought about it and ask his grandfather which wolf wins? Grandfather shook his head and said, "THE ONE YOU FEED."
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5/1/2008 3:48 pm |
Just like in life, if we are going to blog then we need to leave room for disagreements. There is wisdom in your words. I often do not agree with my best friends. Friendship is something that goes beyond agreeing or disagreeing. Disagreements can be a cordial and learning experience. You are OK in my book.
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5/1/2008 5:24 pm |
Jiminiy ... any time .... any time at all. We have never had words, excepting, maybe, in my defending my friend Willy. I say, let it slide. Be a big man, and just let it go.
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5/1/2008 5:53 pm |
good blog ET...thanks for the pearls of wisdom...
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5/1/2008 6:18 pm |
I have a fear that this blog, though well intended, may take a bad turn. If it does, I will exercise my prerogative in deleting comments.
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5/1/2008 6:31 pm |
Bijou and Stillwater .... I have always maintained respect for each of you in your own right. I have never seen either of you openly combative. I count you both fair and wise - yes, wise - in that I can comment on your blogs and never be lambasted in return, whether you agree or disagree with my comments. That amounts to respect.
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5/1/2008 7:47 pm |
ET thank you.... I'll do my best... It's all I can do.... I'll try not to be pest think happy thoughts, not blue from now on, I'll give it a rest Hope you, willy, and everyone else can to.
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5/1/2008 7:53 pm |
Jiminy .... I can. I dare not speak for Willy.
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5/1/2008 10:13 pm |
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5/2/2008 4:26 am |
Hugssssssssssssssss! Nothing i can sy anymore except you have to send me more batteries. (((((((((((((((((((((ET)))))))))))))))))
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5/2/2008 5:51 am |
SawSee...I still love ya!!! And you, too, ET!!
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5/2/2008 6:53 am |
ET I have not always agreed with you, we have had our differences but I respect you and honor your right to your opinion. Tolerance is very very important particularily in this form of communication that is missing so much of what transpires in a conversation and yet is so much like one. I am learning to ask myself (HOW IMPORTANT IS THIS TRULY) WHEN i FIND MYSELF IN DISAGREEMENT AND TRYING TO JUST HOLD MY TONGUE AND DANG MY FINGERS ARE GETTING STICKY AND MY TONGUE BRUISED) good blog.     The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
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5/2/2008 7:08 am |
Thanks, ladynads. Like Stillwater repeated today, "None of us am perfect." LOL I like that.
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5/2/2008 7:19 am |
Singtomysoul ..... thanks! I needed that hug!
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5/2/2008 8:36 am |
Good GO ET! Perhaps if more posted similar words rather than those which continue to "tear down" we would ALL BE IN BETTER STEAD!!!!!
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5/2/2008 10:05 am |
ET. You have taken the first step...and it's a big one. In any unresolved differences, the first step to resolve them is to admit some responsibility for it, and the reason it is unresovled. Pointing fingers and placing blame seems to never resolve it!
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5/2/2008 10:06 am |
i miss ya ladylawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, where are youuuuuuuuu??? kellyc aka saucy
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5/2/2008 10:20 am |
Good GO ET! Perhaps if more posted similar words rather than those which continue to "tear down" we would ALL BE IN BETTER STEAD!!!!!
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5/2/2008 10:24 am |
Saucy .... I PROMISE to show up for trivia on Sunday .... I promise! LL wants me to give you big hugs for her. So here they are: And here's another from me! Will that hold you for awhile? LOL
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5/2/2008 11:24 am |
Gotcha ET......there are those in SFF that always seem to lead "in the wrong direction" and then holler FOUL! One should not have to "hide"......most especially one such as yourself "making real SENSE"! It is interesting to see just who HAS and who HAS NOT posted to your intelligent reasonings here.......NO???
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5/2/2008 11:43 am |
et I wear my big boy pants now...thanks for being you and not ever trying to put words in my mouth...you are such a sweety
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5/2/2008 12:47 pm |
Aweeeeeeeeeeeeeee, Willy .... I just picked up on your state of mind and had to speak on your behalf a wee bit ..... just cause I believe you are really a kind and sensitive person ..... not because I know a thing about anything cause I don't. Ye my BUD!! That's all.
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5/2/2008 12:57 pm |
Aweeeeeeeeeeee, Willy .... I have to stick up for my buds! Are the little boy pants all pee-peed, or what? LOLOLOLOL Or did you pooh-pooh, too????  I just know you were mad enough to let it all hang out!!! I could see the veins standing out on your neck from HERE! And, I thought you had a right to be upset!!! Dang it, anyway! You appear to be in better spirits today. Sometimes we just gotta get all the crap out of our systems. I completly understand! Sometimes I get so mad with the way people behave here I have to be careful not to pee pee and pooh pooh myself!!!!
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5/2/2008 1:00 pm |
Yes, SueMoe ..... BUT, had I given a free rein, you can be sure there would have been those comments here. Just didn't allow that to happen this time.
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5/2/2008 1:36 pm |
ET, you took on a big subject in a kind way! I couldn't be prouder of the reactions posted here. It's like, some of us at least, have grown up to be nicer, kinder, gentler people. I enjoy discussing with people when I disagree. It's never been my goal in life to constantly agree with someone, and I truly couldn't imagine anything much more boring. The "Yes, dear, yes, dear, yes, dears" could get pretty tiresome! Respectful disagreements, whether in real life, blogs or chat, should be seen for what they are. In my humble opinion, that's what we lack in SFF, respect for one anothers' opinions and the ability to debate. Big hugs to you for a subject that's been taboo! Oh, and I think you and I have had our disagreements in the past but managed to "fight 'em out." LOL
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 5/2/2008 3:33 pm |
Although I have never had a really unpleasant exchange in Chat nor in the blogs, I have been the recipient of some very sarcastic and unfounded comments in Chat. My choice is to consider the source and ignore. If I feel I have offended anyone I face up to it and either explain or apologize. Too bad the one hurling darts at me cannot see the wisdom in that. But I will never stoop to that level and respond in kind. There are too many really wonderful people here to waste my energy on the few who choose to be negative or downright nasty. My ex used to advise: kill them with kindness. It often works. HeadinCloudFeetonGround
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5/2/2008 4:53 pm |
Hummmmmmmmm, Shertj .... I can't for the life of me remember it being anything too darn serious. But, if YOU say so, I will count you one of the successes! LOL
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5/2/2008 4:56 pm |
Winkay .... That may well be a good tactic if it's caught in the early stages and never allowed to get really nasty. I can attest that the nasty stuff can go on for literally years, and it just gets uglier. Thanks for your contribution.
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5/2/2008 9:29 pm |
***closes her virgin eyes at willys lettin it all hang out***** lmao yes et, the hugs will hold me over but im gonna hold ya to yer promise!!!! kellyc aka saucy
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5/3/2008 11:22 pm |
I pee peed and poo pooed...all over the place ...for a while...but i'm back to being Rilly WIlly again and sawsay! ya sexay MARRIED thang...you know ya wanna peep 
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5/3/2008 11:44 pm |
OH! and ok fine...maybe my veins on my neck were popping out...just a bit be sure and tell jeff i admitted it ...THIS time
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5/5/2008 7:37 am |
peeping? im so shocked n appalled lmaooooooooooo
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5/5/2008 9:48 am |
Bravo ET I love your style!! I honestly feel that if anyone is opposed to you it's simply because they feel threatened by your blatant knowledge of the subject at hand. Anything you write (in my opinio) is always very informative and to the point!! Meeting you in person was one of the highlights of the St. Pete's bash; getting to know you was amazing and even enhanced what I thought all along. Thank you!! Bravo!
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5/5/2008 9:53 am |
ooops... should try spellcheck next time  .... should have read: 'in my opinion'...Just continue being you ET!!!!
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5/5/2008 10:22 am |
Salsa ... WOW!!! I am honored. I truly appreciate your kind words. It was an absolute pleasure meeting you, as well. Larry, too. You make a fine couple. Huge HUGGGGGGGGGGGS!! (Psssssssssst .... if Hillary ever gets elected to the highest office in this land, I am heading to Canada where the health care plan she mouths about is already intact - so move over! I'm gonna need a Mama and a Papa!)
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5/5/2008 12:09 pm |
I'm really laughing at the poll register...this is too funny...I"m glad someone knows me better than I do so they can show their disagreement...
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5/7/2008 4:42 pm |
Hugs ET..coming in late here on the comments but kudos kiddo!! So....Am I to assume that during the time I was away everyone has grown up and the fighting is now all gone? wahoooooo....I am so proud of your efforts to bring sanity to the forefront ...hugs gal!
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5/7/2008 7:47 pm |
Hugs ET..coming in late here on the comments but kudos kiddo!! So....Am I to assume that during the time I was away everyone has grown up and the fighting is now all gone? wahoooooo....I am so proud of your efforts to bring sanity to the forefront...hugs gal! Wait til you see me next time. roflmaoI missed ya, gf!
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5/11/2008 10:26 am |
There are Pollyanas around that would love to believe that everyone, at all times, could be bosom buds. They may nod their heads in agreement at every opportunity to get on with everyone. That is simply not me. I am a passionate person and have strong feelings about a lot of things important to me. It does not mean I need everyone's validation. More likely it means I'm not a fence rider as opposed to those who feel very comfortable there.
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5/24/2008 2:15 pm |
Enjoyed the blog, ET. There is obviously a lot of history here I am unaware of - perhaps for the best. I, too, like to debate issues. How boring if we all agreed. Peaches
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5/26/2008 4:19 pm |
Peaches .... my sentiments, exactly.
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