 | Blogs > earthytaurus3 > At a crossroads > How to deal with difficult people .............. |
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This is a repost of yester-year, but it warrants reposting. While I was still working, comes in the office mail a brochure advertising a seminar titled: How to Deal with Difficult People. The brochure listed 6 types of personalities that are readily identified in the work place (and elsewhere). Do you recognize any of these types? 1. The "Know-it-alls" - These are the one-ups, the arrogant with opinions on every issue. When called upon to clarify, they become nasty and defensive. "How could you be that stupid" is their motto. 2. The "Passives" - fence riders, they never let people know where they stand and shirk from commitment of any kind. They have no opinions and never offer ideas. "Just leave me out of it" is their motto. 3. The "Dictators" - rule by intimidation, demanding and brutally critical. "My way or the highway" is their motto. 4. The "Yes People" - slackers, they agree to everything, but rarely deliver. They cannot be trusted to follow through. "Sounds like a great idea to me" is their motto. 5. The "No People" - totally inflexible. They are quick to point out why something will not work and make it clear they are unwilling to try. "It's never going to change," is their motto. 6. The "Gripers" - Nothing is ever right with them. They prefer complaining to resolving issues. They thrive on office buzz and do whatever they can to keep the pot stirred. "It's everyone else's fault" is their motto. These people descriptions are taken from the brochure. Dealing with them was to be encapsulated in a one day seminar offered for $99.00 per person. (Heck, I have a minor in psychology and we never covered this much ground in four years time!!) My supervisor laughed out loud when I told him I would like to sign on and asked if it would be covered in the budget. I took that to mean, "NO, we like it the way it is!!" 
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10/27/2009 7:29 pm |
Sadly I fit 5 out of the 6.  I'm just not telling which one I don't fit lol 
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 10/27/2009 10:13 pm |
resembles SFF!
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10/27/2009 10:35 pm |
I took a series of workshops about 10 years ago called "How to Deal With Difficult People." It was based on 12 videos, each dealing with a different type.They were made by these 2 Canadian doctors who had been friends in university. One is a medical doctor and the other a psychologist...... It was useful stuff, presented with humour. We did lots of role play and covered a lot of ground. Each session dealt with one difficult type. The last one.....number 12, was the dead-beat,who was played in the video by a suit-wearing, life-sized rag doll......and they had no advice as to how to deal with this type......he had no response....just deflected everything that went on around him......no affect, no words, no discernible response, no independent action...................I think I was married to him.......and I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one who was frustrated by that type....LOL
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10/28/2009 4:09 am |
For most people complaining doesn't come easy its just not in their nature ~ others however are professional whingers i found the most important rule was ~ let them finish , let them get it off of their chest whilst your look them in the eye and only then formulate an answer or basis of a negotiation i often felt most 'dificult' people are made dificult fom somebody simply not listening to them
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10/28/2009 4:54 am |
I watched a video of how not to navigate a job interview once, and cringed. I recognised myself in every mistake the guy acting as the interviewee made and then some. It was great! It taught me more about myself in a shorter time than anything else I've ever seen. The biggest lesson is we don't see ourselves the way others do. Sometimes difficult people aren't aware of the habits of a lifetime and yet if they are made aware in a non-confrontational way the revelation can change their lives. It's very difficult to accomplish unless you're a trusted and respected friend though. I try really hard not to judge. I have a good mate who seemed really nasty in his view of the world at times. People didn't find him an easy man to like. It turned out he has Asberger's syndrome. Inside, he's a sweet guy with a wicked sense of humour and all the dreams and aspirations any of the rest of us have. No one knows it though - all they see is what's on the surface. Well, unless he's heading for a fall and I have a quiet word with someone - not enough to betray a confidence, but enough to let them know there's more to the situation than meets the eye. There but for the grace of God go any of us.
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10/28/2009 6:26 am |
I find difficult people easy to deal with. Just ignore them.
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10/28/2009 7:15 am |
Interesting, Sleepwalk. When I was student teaching way back when, I was video-taped while conducting classes on numerous occasions as I progressed through the semester. I had to watch those videos and write my own critiques, then hand them in to my mentor as part of my performance review. There was a list of criteria I was required to follow in that critique, of course, and, yes, it was very much an eye-opener to watch myself "perform" and to see exactly where I was falling short, even of my own expectations. It was a absolutely great teaching method. It's hard not to judge oneself harshly under such circumstances, but viewing those tapes revealed exactly where attention was needed, and each time I addressed a class thereafter, I was conscious of what I could do differently and better. There were times on those tapes the camera panned the class to catch student responses to me - to my methods and delivery of required content. Boy!!! Is THAT an awakening!! LOL It taught me I was not only required to "deliver" but to "stimulate," that teaching requires a whole lot of ingenuity!!!! If anyone thinks that's easy with 31 ninth graders with hormones running amok in a grammar class, they need to think again! LOL Thanks for your comments. They brought back memories of a tough journey that ultimately led to a very rewarding career. I came long ways, Baby! LOL
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10/28/2009 7:17 am |
resembles SFF!
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10/28/2009 7:19 am |
I took a series of workshops about 10 years ago called "How to Deal With Difficult People." It was based on 12 videos, each dealing with a different type.They were made by these 2 Canadian doctors who had been friends in university. One is a medical doctor and the other a psychologist...... It was useful stuff, presented with humour. We did lots of role play and covered a lot of ground. Each session dealt with one difficult type. The last one.....number 12, was the dead-beat,who was played in the video by a suit-wearing, life-sized rag doll......and they had no advice as to how to deal with this type......he had no response....just deflected everything that went on around him......no affect, no words, no discernible response, no independent action...................I think I was married to him.......and I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one who was frustrated by that type....LOL
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10/28/2009 7:23 am |
Like Herman Melville wrote in Bartleby the Scrivener, "Humanity, ah humanity." What endless and curious variety!! LOL
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10/28/2009 7:32 am |
Sadly I fit 5 out of the 6. I'm just not telling which one I don't fit lol Wayne Dyer! He maintains one must awake and feel "a great sense of gratitude" .........
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10/28/2009 7:35 am |
Speaking of Dr. Dyer, he presents another model which I find interesting: With regard to "Authoritarian Thinking" be says "Authoritarians tend to be rigid and intolerant. They like to control and dominate others. Ironically by these sorts of behaviors they also conform and submit to what they think society wants. For example authoritarians think in black and white with their dichotomous thinking, so encourage stereotypes. This ends up putting people into neat categories, which discourages growth and encourages division. When people view the world in an "us against them" way, it’s bound to cause strife."
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10/28/2009 7:37 am |
For most people complaining doesn't come easy its just not in their nature ~ others however are professional whingers i found the most important rule was ~ let them finish , let them get it off of their chest whilst your look them in the eye and only then formulate an answer or basis of a negotiation i often felt most 'dificult' people are made dificult fom somebody simply not listening to them
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10/28/2009 7:54 am |
I find difficult people easy to deal with. Just ignore them. Psssssssssst .... trying hard here to fit Bike into a "catagory" .... none fit!! He's one of a kind!!
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10/28/2009 1:19 pm |
There's another type I'm all too familiar with - the "Donut eaters." They come to a committee meeting and criticize the efforts of all -but never offer to do anything themselves - eat all the donuts and drink all the coffee...... then leave.
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10/28/2009 4:07 pm |
Yep .... I suppose there are those, too, Freshem. But .... how would you better describe that "personality type"?? The deadbeats? The leaches/consumers??
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10/28/2009 5:38 pm |
"Passive-aggressors" perhaps?
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10/30/2009 9:59 am |
It is easier for me to just put them in a little imaginary box,place them under my foot and stamp them out of existence. I don't allow them to exist. Sometimes I play with them a little before I squish em'. LOL Either way, if you allow them to exist they will continue and remain to be "difficult". To actually help another through their personal difficulties brings forth much mutual respect, and bonding.Many friendships are formed from people extending out a friendly understanding hand.It is always nice to try to help another and definitely worth the effort many times. Those who have proven themselves not worthy of your help and understanding, just squish em'!They thrive on misery, and not worthy of your help in the first place.Don't allow misery to be your company.There are many other difficult people for them to bother, and actually ones like that choose to pal up with the same kind anyways.
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